Abhijit Naskar's Blog - Posts Tagged "social-conditioning"
Why do we crave for social approval
Nobody is immune to social conditioning or as people like to call it, social programming. Which means that everybody is vulnerable to this process of social programming - to social pressure. But the question that we are interested in here is why? Why do we crave for acceptance from the society? Why do we crave for approval of the society.
Unless a person has some sort of pathological condition that makes the person unable to create a healthy bond between the self and the society, everybody has the urge for being accepted by the society, by the community, by the environment - to look for approval from others. So, what is the reason that we look for approval from others, from the people around us? The reason is that we are not wired to be loners. We are social animals. Being in a community makes us stronger. And that's the faculty that actually enabled our ancestors in the jungle to survive against the forces of nature - against predators and all sorts of wild obstacles.
So we built communities, but it's not enough to build communities. The members in that community must have a neurological bond with that community - they must have a craving to belong to that community. You cannot just gather some people and say, this is my community. They must feel that they are part of that community in order for the community to survive against all odds, which at that time, that is, in the kingdom of the wild was rather imperative.
So being in a community means we are psychologically wired to feel that we are part of that community, which brings along an innate craving to be accepted by others in that community - by the majority of that community - to look for approval in everything that we do from others in that community - to look for appreciation for our actions - to look for appraisal from others, for our achievements, for our successes.
In the wild, it worked well. And even today it keeps a people together. That's okay. So it is not completely harmful, but what is harmful is that this very trait has also a negative side and rather devastatingly negative side negative aspect, which is that this craving, this social conditioning often compels a person to go against his or her own passion, his or her own uniqueness to be accepted by the society. So the person ends up doing what the society wants instead of doing what that person really wanted to do in the first place, whether it is about living life, whether it is about achieving a certain goal, or anything else.
In the end, the majority of people end up achieving the goals that a society wishes them to achieve as members of the community. And the same goes for wishes, the same goes for desires, the same goes with behaviors, the same goes for thought thinking - the same goes with emotions and feelings and sentiments and ambitions and so on. So we ended up living secondhand lives. We end up living lives of mindless machines - we end up living lives of slaves of the society instead of living the life that we want.
If a person is happy with living the way that the person is living while following the norms of the society, then that's completely fine. But if the person has to completely change himself or herself to follow the norms of the society, then that's dangerous and downright inhuman because all the progress that we have attained so far as a species took place because of the handful of so-called misfits who had the courage to go against the societal norms, to follow their dreams, to follow their passions, to follow their own original thoughts and ideas and inklings and passions.
In short, rules and norms of a society do not ensure progress. In fact, the rules that the society creates are there to ensure security, not to ensure progress. To ensure progress, one must first sacrifice security to achieve something that nobody has achieved ever before - one must have the guts to turn a blind eye to the mockery, the criticisms, the disapprovals of one's society. Only by doing this can one achieve what that person really wants for himself or herself. This doesn't mean rebelling against society violently or aggressively - it simply means paying no attention to the society's selfish expectations, instead, the person must focus all their attention, all their energy on the one idea that is most important to them - to that one dream, that one passion, that one purpose.
Unless a person has some sort of pathological condition that makes the person unable to create a healthy bond between the self and the society, everybody has the urge for being accepted by the society, by the community, by the environment - to look for approval from others. So, what is the reason that we look for approval from others, from the people around us? The reason is that we are not wired to be loners. We are social animals. Being in a community makes us stronger. And that's the faculty that actually enabled our ancestors in the jungle to survive against the forces of nature - against predators and all sorts of wild obstacles.
So we built communities, but it's not enough to build communities. The members in that community must have a neurological bond with that community - they must have a craving to belong to that community. You cannot just gather some people and say, this is my community. They must feel that they are part of that community in order for the community to survive against all odds, which at that time, that is, in the kingdom of the wild was rather imperative.
So being in a community means we are psychologically wired to feel that we are part of that community, which brings along an innate craving to be accepted by others in that community - by the majority of that community - to look for approval in everything that we do from others in that community - to look for appreciation for our actions - to look for appraisal from others, for our achievements, for our successes.
In the wild, it worked well. And even today it keeps a people together. That's okay. So it is not completely harmful, but what is harmful is that this very trait has also a negative side and rather devastatingly negative side negative aspect, which is that this craving, this social conditioning often compels a person to go against his or her own passion, his or her own uniqueness to be accepted by the society. So the person ends up doing what the society wants instead of doing what that person really wanted to do in the first place, whether it is about living life, whether it is about achieving a certain goal, or anything else.
In the end, the majority of people end up achieving the goals that a society wishes them to achieve as members of the community. And the same goes for wishes, the same goes for desires, the same goes with behaviors, the same goes for thought thinking - the same goes with emotions and feelings and sentiments and ambitions and so on. So we ended up living secondhand lives. We end up living lives of mindless machines - we end up living lives of slaves of the society instead of living the life that we want.
If a person is happy with living the way that the person is living while following the norms of the society, then that's completely fine. But if the person has to completely change himself or herself to follow the norms of the society, then that's dangerous and downright inhuman because all the progress that we have attained so far as a species took place because of the handful of so-called misfits who had the courage to go against the societal norms, to follow their dreams, to follow their passions, to follow their own original thoughts and ideas and inklings and passions.
In short, rules and norms of a society do not ensure progress. In fact, the rules that the society creates are there to ensure security, not to ensure progress. To ensure progress, one must first sacrifice security to achieve something that nobody has achieved ever before - one must have the guts to turn a blind eye to the mockery, the criticisms, the disapprovals of one's society. Only by doing this can one achieve what that person really wants for himself or herself. This doesn't mean rebelling against society violently or aggressively - it simply means paying no attention to the society's selfish expectations, instead, the person must focus all their attention, all their energy on the one idea that is most important to them - to that one dream, that one passion, that one purpose.
Prejudice Test | Corazon Calamidad
Life is one big prejudice unless you question everything. You say, you don’t have any prejudice! Let’s put that to test, shall we! Read the following phrases, pausing a few seconds after each.
Hallelujah!
¡Viva la libertad!
Shabbat Shalom!
Allahu Akbar!
Black Lives Matter!
We’re Here, We’re Queer!
My body, my decision!
Now bring your faculty of reason into action, and think, which of the terms induced a negative emotional response in your mind? It’s nothing out of the ordinary, it’s just common animal nature.
How your brain got conditioned to react in such a way that’s a different matter. The main thing is, your brain just reacted exactly like the brain of pavlov’s dog every time it heard the bell. The only difference is that, a dog doesn’t have further brain capacity to question such conditioning, but a human does.
Hallelujah!
¡Viva la libertad!
Shabbat Shalom!
Allahu Akbar!
Black Lives Matter!
We’re Here, We’re Queer!
My body, my decision!
Now bring your faculty of reason into action, and think, which of the terms induced a negative emotional response in your mind? It’s nothing out of the ordinary, it’s just common animal nature.
How your brain got conditioned to react in such a way that’s a different matter. The main thing is, your brain just reacted exactly like the brain of pavlov’s dog every time it heard the bell. The only difference is that, a dog doesn’t have further brain capacity to question such conditioning, but a human does.
Worth of Human | Every Generation Needs Caretakers
What is the point of you? What is your worth? And by worth I am not talking about your financial value, I am talking about something much more significant than that. So, I ask again – what is your worth? And you won’t find the answer in any scripture or church – you won’t find it even in this book. Because no external power can give you the answer to something so incredibly existential in nature.
If you want to know your worth, ask yourself, what are you without your bank account. The worth of a person lies in character. The same goes for a nation and the same goes for a world. Therefore, a nation’s worth lies not in the value of its currency, but in the character of its people. And it all begins with the individual – it all begins with you. Your character holds not just the worth of your own life, but that of the lives of your people as well. So, feel like it’s the feeling of your society and act like it’s the action of your society.
But mark you, here I do not mean, feeling and acting like the society, rather, I am asking you to feel, think and act as an original, brave and conscientious human being, so that you become the very emblem of humanhood in front of others, for them to draw their life’s inspiration from. Doing what the society wants, makes you a second hand human – wanting the society to do what you want, makes you a narcissistic bigot – but being an embodiment of humanhood without any expectation from others, is what makes you a sentient human.
If you want to know your worth, ask yourself, what are you without your bank account. The worth of a person lies in character. The same goes for a nation and the same goes for a world. Therefore, a nation’s worth lies not in the value of its currency, but in the character of its people. And it all begins with the individual – it all begins with you. Your character holds not just the worth of your own life, but that of the lives of your people as well. So, feel like it’s the feeling of your society and act like it’s the action of your society.
But mark you, here I do not mean, feeling and acting like the society, rather, I am asking you to feel, think and act as an original, brave and conscientious human being, so that you become the very emblem of humanhood in front of others, for them to draw their life’s inspiration from. Doing what the society wants, makes you a second hand human – wanting the society to do what you want, makes you a narcissistic bigot – but being an embodiment of humanhood without any expectation from others, is what makes you a sentient human.
Sapionova, Sonnet 1195 | Sapionova
They say, nobody is above the law,
I say, I am.
They say, nobody is above grammar,
I say, I am.
All are barred to break status quo,
Yet I do on a daily basis.
All are tamed to be rats without roar,
Yet I write my own moralities.
In a world run by do’s and don’ts,
Wield your backbone and find your way.
Animals may need the crutch of custom,
By the feet of humans new roads are paved.
Question of should comes from principles,
It must never be a matter of convenience.
Sapient principles are living principles,
Not those inherited through dead lineage.
Sapiens is the question, sapiens is the answer.
When all live as neanderthal, be the sapionova.
I say, I am.
They say, nobody is above grammar,
I say, I am.
All are barred to break status quo,
Yet I do on a daily basis.
All are tamed to be rats without roar,
Yet I write my own moralities.
In a world run by do’s and don’ts,
Wield your backbone and find your way.
Animals may need the crutch of custom,
By the feet of humans new roads are paved.
Question of should comes from principles,
It must never be a matter of convenience.
Sapient principles are living principles,
Not those inherited through dead lineage.
Sapiens is the question, sapiens is the answer.
When all live as neanderthal, be the sapionova.
Dead Men’s Tale (The Sonnet) | Abhijit Naskar | Himalayan Sonneteer: 100 Sonnets of Unsubmission
They say, time and tide wait for none,
Lest the bird learns it can fly.
The best way to control apes is,
To make them feel guilty for their light.
They say, dead men tell no tale, and yet,
We live our lives based on dead men’s tale.
It is okay to tell tales if it enhances sight,
But not the kind that produces a walking hell.
There is no divide when we are alive,
Divisions exist only in kingdom of the dead.
We are divided because we are dead,
Come to life, and all divides will be deleted.
Let us write a new tale with the spirit of life.
Instead of celebrating death,
let’s celebrate each other’s light.
Lest the bird learns it can fly.
The best way to control apes is,
To make them feel guilty for their light.
They say, dead men tell no tale, and yet,
We live our lives based on dead men’s tale.
It is okay to tell tales if it enhances sight,
But not the kind that produces a walking hell.
There is no divide when we are alive,
Divisions exist only in kingdom of the dead.
We are divided because we are dead,
Come to life, and all divides will be deleted.
Let us write a new tale with the spirit of life.
Instead of celebrating death,
let’s celebrate each other’s light.
Beyond Evidence and Ignorance (Monk Scientist Sonnet) | Abhijit Naskar | Little Planet on The Prairie
I’m sorry, I cannot live a single cultural,
single lingual, single scriptural existence.
I want all the cultures and languages,
I want all the scriptures and sciences.
I am the epitome of reason founded on love,
beyond the grasp of either establishment.
I don’t need to be popular in either cult,
I live as lamp to the world not another lamb.
I am a scientist aware of facts,
I also accept faith as a right.
My struggle is again’t intolerance,
not to pamper either side’s narrow sight.
I once set out as a monk, that journey has
kept the scientist grounded in tolerance.
My truth is love, not belief or disbelief,
not coldened by evidence or blinded by ignorance.
“Brain is there to think first, then take a side…” Abhijit Naskar, Neurosonnets
Brain is there to think first,
then take a side,
but society teaches you to
pick a side first, then think alike.
In a world of flexible
spine and rigid mind,
muster an unbending
spine with expanding mind.
