Abhijit Naskar's Blog - Posts Tagged "dream"
Why do we crave for social approval
Nobody is immune to social conditioning or as people like to call it, social programming. Which means that everybody is vulnerable to this process of social programming - to social pressure. But the question that we are interested in here is why? Why do we crave for acceptance from the society? Why do we crave for approval of the society.
Unless a person has some sort of pathological condition that makes the person unable to create a healthy bond between the self and the society, everybody has the urge for being accepted by the society, by the community, by the environment - to look for approval from others. So, what is the reason that we look for approval from others, from the people around us? The reason is that we are not wired to be loners. We are social animals. Being in a community makes us stronger. And that's the faculty that actually enabled our ancestors in the jungle to survive against the forces of nature - against predators and all sorts of wild obstacles.
So we built communities, but it's not enough to build communities. The members in that community must have a neurological bond with that community - they must have a craving to belong to that community. You cannot just gather some people and say, this is my community. They must feel that they are part of that community in order for the community to survive against all odds, which at that time, that is, in the kingdom of the wild was rather imperative.
So being in a community means we are psychologically wired to feel that we are part of that community, which brings along an innate craving to be accepted by others in that community - by the majority of that community - to look for approval in everything that we do from others in that community - to look for appreciation for our actions - to look for appraisal from others, for our achievements, for our successes.
In the wild, it worked well. And even today it keeps a people together. That's okay. So it is not completely harmful, but what is harmful is that this very trait has also a negative side and rather devastatingly negative side negative aspect, which is that this craving, this social conditioning often compels a person to go against his or her own passion, his or her own uniqueness to be accepted by the society. So the person ends up doing what the society wants instead of doing what that person really wanted to do in the first place, whether it is about living life, whether it is about achieving a certain goal, or anything else.
In the end, the majority of people end up achieving the goals that a society wishes them to achieve as members of the community. And the same goes for wishes, the same goes for desires, the same goes with behaviors, the same goes for thought thinking - the same goes with emotions and feelings and sentiments and ambitions and so on. So we ended up living secondhand lives. We end up living lives of mindless machines - we end up living lives of slaves of the society instead of living the life that we want.
If a person is happy with living the way that the person is living while following the norms of the society, then that's completely fine. But if the person has to completely change himself or herself to follow the norms of the society, then that's dangerous and downright inhuman because all the progress that we have attained so far as a species took place because of the handful of so-called misfits who had the courage to go against the societal norms, to follow their dreams, to follow their passions, to follow their own original thoughts and ideas and inklings and passions.
In short, rules and norms of a society do not ensure progress. In fact, the rules that the society creates are there to ensure security, not to ensure progress. To ensure progress, one must first sacrifice security to achieve something that nobody has achieved ever before - one must have the guts to turn a blind eye to the mockery, the criticisms, the disapprovals of one's society. Only by doing this can one achieve what that person really wants for himself or herself. This doesn't mean rebelling against society violently or aggressively - it simply means paying no attention to the society's selfish expectations, instead, the person must focus all their attention, all their energy on the one idea that is most important to them - to that one dream, that one passion, that one purpose.
Unless a person has some sort of pathological condition that makes the person unable to create a healthy bond between the self and the society, everybody has the urge for being accepted by the society, by the community, by the environment - to look for approval from others. So, what is the reason that we look for approval from others, from the people around us? The reason is that we are not wired to be loners. We are social animals. Being in a community makes us stronger. And that's the faculty that actually enabled our ancestors in the jungle to survive against the forces of nature - against predators and all sorts of wild obstacles.
So we built communities, but it's not enough to build communities. The members in that community must have a neurological bond with that community - they must have a craving to belong to that community. You cannot just gather some people and say, this is my community. They must feel that they are part of that community in order for the community to survive against all odds, which at that time, that is, in the kingdom of the wild was rather imperative.
So being in a community means we are psychologically wired to feel that we are part of that community, which brings along an innate craving to be accepted by others in that community - by the majority of that community - to look for approval in everything that we do from others in that community - to look for appreciation for our actions - to look for appraisal from others, for our achievements, for our successes.
In the wild, it worked well. And even today it keeps a people together. That's okay. So it is not completely harmful, but what is harmful is that this very trait has also a negative side and rather devastatingly negative side negative aspect, which is that this craving, this social conditioning often compels a person to go against his or her own passion, his or her own uniqueness to be accepted by the society. So the person ends up doing what the society wants instead of doing what that person really wanted to do in the first place, whether it is about living life, whether it is about achieving a certain goal, or anything else.
In the end, the majority of people end up achieving the goals that a society wishes them to achieve as members of the community. And the same goes for wishes, the same goes for desires, the same goes with behaviors, the same goes for thought thinking - the same goes with emotions and feelings and sentiments and ambitions and so on. So we ended up living secondhand lives. We end up living lives of mindless machines - we end up living lives of slaves of the society instead of living the life that we want.
If a person is happy with living the way that the person is living while following the norms of the society, then that's completely fine. But if the person has to completely change himself or herself to follow the norms of the society, then that's dangerous and downright inhuman because all the progress that we have attained so far as a species took place because of the handful of so-called misfits who had the courage to go against the societal norms, to follow their dreams, to follow their passions, to follow their own original thoughts and ideas and inklings and passions.
In short, rules and norms of a society do not ensure progress. In fact, the rules that the society creates are there to ensure security, not to ensure progress. To ensure progress, one must first sacrifice security to achieve something that nobody has achieved ever before - one must have the guts to turn a blind eye to the mockery, the criticisms, the disapprovals of one's society. Only by doing this can one achieve what that person really wants for himself or herself. This doesn't mean rebelling against society violently or aggressively - it simply means paying no attention to the society's selfish expectations, instead, the person must focus all their attention, all their energy on the one idea that is most important to them - to that one dream, that one passion, that one purpose.
Worth of Human | Every Generation Needs Caretakers
What is the point of you? What is your worth? And by worth I am not talking about your financial value, I am talking about something much more significant than that. So, I ask again – what is your worth? And you won’t find the answer in any scripture or church – you won’t find it even in this book. Because no external power can give you the answer to something so incredibly existential in nature.
If you want to know your worth, ask yourself, what are you without your bank account. The worth of a person lies in character. The same goes for a nation and the same goes for a world. Therefore, a nation’s worth lies not in the value of its currency, but in the character of its people. And it all begins with the individual – it all begins with you. Your character holds not just the worth of your own life, but that of the lives of your people as well. So, feel like it’s the feeling of your society and act like it’s the action of your society.
But mark you, here I do not mean, feeling and acting like the society, rather, I am asking you to feel, think and act as an original, brave and conscientious human being, so that you become the very emblem of humanhood in front of others, for them to draw their life’s inspiration from. Doing what the society wants, makes you a second hand human – wanting the society to do what you want, makes you a narcissistic bigot – but being an embodiment of humanhood without any expectation from others, is what makes you a sentient human.
If you want to know your worth, ask yourself, what are you without your bank account. The worth of a person lies in character. The same goes for a nation and the same goes for a world. Therefore, a nation’s worth lies not in the value of its currency, but in the character of its people. And it all begins with the individual – it all begins with you. Your character holds not just the worth of your own life, but that of the lives of your people as well. So, feel like it’s the feeling of your society and act like it’s the action of your society.
But mark you, here I do not mean, feeling and acting like the society, rather, I am asking you to feel, think and act as an original, brave and conscientious human being, so that you become the very emblem of humanhood in front of others, for them to draw their life’s inspiration from. Doing what the society wants, makes you a second hand human – wanting the society to do what you want, makes you a narcissistic bigot – but being an embodiment of humanhood without any expectation from others, is what makes you a sentient human.
I’m Impossible (Sonnet 1272) | Abhijit Naskar | Bulletproof Backbone
I don’t need to play word games,
to say, impossible means I am possible;
my existence is epitome of the impossible.
I don’t make plans, I make purpose,
then the purpose plans me, into unstoppable.
Does that mean, loneliness doesn’t bother me,
Of course it does – it makes the torture worse.
Anybody who says, they enjoy loneliness,
is either lying or plain narcissistic retard.
But then again, just when I feel super gloomy,
I remember my responsibility to my world family.
Time and again, my purpose drags me out,
Electrifying my veins with incorruptible duty.
¡Viva la humanidad, viva la familia mundial!
Long live humanity, long live world family!
Whenever you are down, take refuge in purpose;
Your purpose will reawaken your invincibility.
to say, impossible means I am possible;
my existence is epitome of the impossible.
I don’t make plans, I make purpose,
then the purpose plans me, into unstoppable.
Does that mean, loneliness doesn’t bother me,
Of course it does – it makes the torture worse.
Anybody who says, they enjoy loneliness,
is either lying or plain narcissistic retard.
But then again, just when I feel super gloomy,
I remember my responsibility to my world family.
Time and again, my purpose drags me out,
Electrifying my veins with incorruptible duty.
¡Viva la humanidad, viva la familia mundial!
Long live humanity, long live world family!
Whenever you are down, take refuge in purpose;
Your purpose will reawaken your invincibility.
Naskar is Made by Naskar Alone | Abhijit Naskar | Bulletproof Backbone
Naskar is made by Naskar alone, not an industry or benefactor – or more importantly, by family wealth. I had a roof over my head, food on the table, and clothes on my back – that was more than enough.
I started writing with literally zero dollar in my pocket. Let me tell you how it began, because for some reason, I completely forgot a crucial event of my life when I wrote my memoir Love, God & Neurons.
I once met an American tourist at a local train in Calcutta. The first thing he asked me was, had I lived in the States? I said, no. Then how come you have an American accent – he asked. Watching movies – I said. We got chatting and he told me about a book he had recently published, a memoir. I believe, this was the cosmic event that planted the thought of writing my own books in my head – I had already started my self-education in Neurology and Psychology, and I was all determined to publish research papers on my ideas, but not books. Meeting the person somehow subconsciously shifted my focus from research papers to books.
So the journey began. And for the first few years, I made no real money from my books. Occasionally some of my books would climb the bestsellers list on amazon, like my very first book did, and that would keep the bills paid for several months. Then the invitations for talks started coming, but they too were not paid in the beginning. The organizers made all the travel arrangements, and I gave the talks for free. It’s ironic and super confusing really – I remember flying business class, but I didn’t have enough money to even afford a one way flight ticket, because I had already used up my royalties on other expenses.
Today I can pick and choose which speaking invitations to accept, but back then I didn’t have that luxury – I was grateful for any speaking gig and interview request I received, paid or not. One time, I gave an interview to this moderately popular journalist for her personal youtube channel, only to find out, she never released the video publicly – she posted an interview with a dog owner instead – whose dog videos had gained quite a following on social media. You could say, this was the first time I realized first hand, what white privilege was.
Anyway, the point is this.
Did I doubt myself? Often. Did I consider quitting? Occasionally. But did I actually quit? Never. And because I didn’t quit, the world received a vast never-before seen multicultural humanitarian legacy, that you know me for today.
There is no such thing as overnight success. If you have a dream, you gotta work at it day in, day out – night after night – spoiling sleep, ruining rest, forgetting fun. Persist, persist, and persist, that’s the only secret – there is no other. Remember this – the size of your pocket does not determine your destiny, the size of your dedication does.
I started writing with literally zero dollar in my pocket. Let me tell you how it began, because for some reason, I completely forgot a crucial event of my life when I wrote my memoir Love, God & Neurons.
I once met an American tourist at a local train in Calcutta. The first thing he asked me was, had I lived in the States? I said, no. Then how come you have an American accent – he asked. Watching movies – I said. We got chatting and he told me about a book he had recently published, a memoir. I believe, this was the cosmic event that planted the thought of writing my own books in my head – I had already started my self-education in Neurology and Psychology, and I was all determined to publish research papers on my ideas, but not books. Meeting the person somehow subconsciously shifted my focus from research papers to books.
So the journey began. And for the first few years, I made no real money from my books. Occasionally some of my books would climb the bestsellers list on amazon, like my very first book did, and that would keep the bills paid for several months. Then the invitations for talks started coming, but they too were not paid in the beginning. The organizers made all the travel arrangements, and I gave the talks for free. It’s ironic and super confusing really – I remember flying business class, but I didn’t have enough money to even afford a one way flight ticket, because I had already used up my royalties on other expenses.
Today I can pick and choose which speaking invitations to accept, but back then I didn’t have that luxury – I was grateful for any speaking gig and interview request I received, paid or not. One time, I gave an interview to this moderately popular journalist for her personal youtube channel, only to find out, she never released the video publicly – she posted an interview with a dog owner instead – whose dog videos had gained quite a following on social media. You could say, this was the first time I realized first hand, what white privilege was.
Anyway, the point is this.
Did I doubt myself? Often. Did I consider quitting? Occasionally. But did I actually quit? Never. And because I didn’t quit, the world received a vast never-before seen multicultural humanitarian legacy, that you know me for today.
There is no such thing as overnight success. If you have a dream, you gotta work at it day in, day out – night after night – spoiling sleep, ruining rest, forgetting fun. Persist, persist, and persist, that’s the only secret – there is no other. Remember this – the size of your pocket does not determine your destiny, the size of your dedication does.
Apes cannot cancel the Everest (Sonnet 1550) | Abhijit Naskar | World War Human: 100 New Earthling Sonnets
Unleash yourself as love testament,
Be the answer to archaic derangement.
Stand undaunted despite cancelment,
Apes cannot cancel Mount Everest.
Unleash your spine,
Unfurl your fervor.
Awake to humankind,
your eternal harbor.
Anchor yourself in rights,
Rituals can take a back seat.
Rights decreed by jungle rituals,
are no parameters of civil spirit.
Either you succumb to the world,
or expand so vast that
the world succumbs to you.
Dare past time with your dream defiant,
fabric of reality will unfold through you.
Be the answer to archaic derangement.
Stand undaunted despite cancelment,
Apes cannot cancel Mount Everest.
Unleash your spine,
Unfurl your fervor.
Awake to humankind,
your eternal harbor.
Anchor yourself in rights,
Rituals can take a back seat.
Rights decreed by jungle rituals,
are no parameters of civil spirit.
Either you succumb to the world,
or expand so vast that
the world succumbs to you.
Dare past time with your dream defiant,
fabric of reality will unfold through you.
What is A Naskar Sonnet (2312) – Abhijit Naskar, Kral Fakir: When Calls The Kainat
In the Naskar world, sonnet is not
an elitist structure of rigid rhyme and meter,
Naskar sonnet is a self-contained unit of
civilization, indifferent to literary convention.
I weave sonnets around the message,
instead of forcing the message into the sonnets.
Till you cut the cuffs of form, don’t touch my works,
if you want method and structure, pursue mathematics.
Childish eurocentric conventions are too puny
to contain the vastness of a transcendental human,
sometimes I’m Dervish, sometimes Advaita,
and the Brain Scientist keeps out the superstition.
Every mind is infinite, every mind, transcendental,
ape customs castrate the human into farm animal.
Cut the wings of a dove at birth,
and it’ll spend its life crawling like vermin.
Pilgrim of Language (Sonnet) ― Abhijit Naskar, Hazrat-e Humanity: The Uncultured Polyglot
How will you know if you
can speak another language?
If you can curse someone
on impulse without memorizing,
you got the language in your gut.
If you can console someone in pain,
the language nestles in your heart.
No es necessario que hablar guapisimo,
solamente necessario que hablar amable.
All those pedestals of language levels,
a, b, z, and what not, are elitist garbage.
Chase after form,
and you’ll miss the soul –
throw yourself into the soul,
and neurons will regrow.
Forget grammar, forget vocabulary,
let the language seep into your bloodstream.
In a world infested with medal-seeking mules,
stand odd, stand ablaze, a drunken pilgrim.
