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Ben Sedley
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Wellington, New Zealand
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February 2014
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Ben Sedley
Nick and Nora - so great to read a book where you get to hear what both of them are thinking
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Kerry Makin-Byrd is one of the most insightful and wise psychologists I know and she has shared her whole heart and wisdom in START HERE. This is a book you'll reach for time and time again as life throws you new challenges, each time a different exe
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Ben Sedley
rated a book it was amazing
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| Kerry Makin-Byrd is one of the most insightful and wise psychologists I know and she has shared her whole heart and wisdom in START HERE. This is a book you'll reach for time and time again as life throws you new challenges, each time a different exe ...more | |
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Andrew Cohen's review
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What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing:
"A must-read for everyone really. Such a simple rephrasing of one question changes everything. Swapping out "What's wrong with you?" to "What happened to you?" not only makes you a more empathetic person, but it will open the door to a world of insigh"
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“Being willing to feel my pain isn't another strategy I can use to avoid my pain. It is genuinely accepting that sometimes stuff really sucks. Sometimes life can really hurt. Sometimes this world isn't what I signed up for. Sometimes I still feel like I would do anything not to have these feelings and these thoughts... Willingness to allow suffering to be there is hard. Damn hard. And often frightening too. And the only thing harder is not being willing to allow suffering to be there.”
― Stuff That Sucks: A Teen's Guide to Accepting What You Can't Change and Committing to What You Can
― Stuff That Sucks: A Teen's Guide to Accepting What You Can't Change and Committing to What You Can
“Figure out what you care about... and then care about it”
― Stuff That Sucks: A Teen's Guide to Accepting What You Can't Change and Committing to What You Can
― Stuff That Sucks: A Teen's Guide to Accepting What You Can't Change and Committing to What You Can
“Imagine if you met someone sitting at a train station who told everyone how great it is to go West. ‘West is the way of the future,’ he says, ‘we should all keep moving in that direction.’ A year later you pass the same station and the same guy is there, in the exact same spot, still telling everyone they should go West. ‘You need to move West to achieve a meaningful life,’ he proclaims, ‘it is the path to happiness and satisfaction.’
A year later you pass the same station and the guy is still there. Right there. He hasn’t moved one inch in a westerly direction. This time you stop and ask him why he is such a big fan of going West, and he tells you about all the things he has read about the direction West, recommends some useful websites, and even shows you some pictures he has cut out of pamphlets, depicting things you will see if you go West. You ask him what is the best thing he has ever seen while travelling West, and he shakes his head.
‘I’ve never been any more West than here, too many bumps along the way. I’m waiting for them to fix up the track so it will be a smoother journey,’ he tells you. ‘But,’ he adds proudly, ‘I haven’t moved even one inch East in the past few years.’
How seriously would you take that man’s advice to go West? If West is the way to go, maybe it’s worth travelling over some bumps to make progress in that direction? Values are like compass directions. They’re meaningless unless you move. Saying that you really like going West doesn’t mean a whole lot if you don’t take at least a small step in that direction. That doesn’t mean it’s always going to be easy to move West or that you can move miles in that direction every day. Some days it feels like there are things pulling you in every direction or stopping you from moving at all. The blocks might be thoughts, feelings, memories, physiological sensations or other people and their rules. But it’s still worthwhile to move in the directions you care about even if sometimes you are only able to take tiny steps.
(Stuff that Sucks, p 50)”
― Stuff That Sucks: A Teen's Guide to Accepting What You Can't Change and Committing to What You Can
A year later you pass the same station and the guy is still there. Right there. He hasn’t moved one inch in a westerly direction. This time you stop and ask him why he is such a big fan of going West, and he tells you about all the things he has read about the direction West, recommends some useful websites, and even shows you some pictures he has cut out of pamphlets, depicting things you will see if you go West. You ask him what is the best thing he has ever seen while travelling West, and he shakes his head.
‘I’ve never been any more West than here, too many bumps along the way. I’m waiting for them to fix up the track so it will be a smoother journey,’ he tells you. ‘But,’ he adds proudly, ‘I haven’t moved even one inch East in the past few years.’
How seriously would you take that man’s advice to go West? If West is the way to go, maybe it’s worth travelling over some bumps to make progress in that direction? Values are like compass directions. They’re meaningless unless you move. Saying that you really like going West doesn’t mean a whole lot if you don’t take at least a small step in that direction. That doesn’t mean it’s always going to be easy to move West or that you can move miles in that direction every day. Some days it feels like there are things pulling you in every direction or stopping you from moving at all. The blocks might be thoughts, feelings, memories, physiological sensations or other people and their rules. But it’s still worthwhile to move in the directions you care about even if sometimes you are only able to take tiny steps.
(Stuff that Sucks, p 50)”
― Stuff That Sucks: A Teen's Guide to Accepting What You Can't Change and Committing to What You Can
“Imagine if you met someone sitting at a train station who told everyone how great it is to go West. ‘West is the way of the future,’ he says, ‘we should all keep moving in that direction.’ A year later you pass the same station and the same guy is there, in the exact same spot, still telling everyone they should go West. ‘You need to move West to achieve a meaningful life,’ he proclaims, ‘it is the path to happiness and satisfaction.’
A year later you pass the same station and the guy is still there. Right there. He hasn’t moved one inch in a westerly direction. This time you stop and ask him why he is such a big fan of going West, and he tells you about all the things he has read about the direction West, recommends some useful websites, and even shows you some pictures he has cut out of pamphlets, depicting things you will see if you go West. You ask him what is the best thing he has ever seen while travelling West, and he shakes his head.
‘I’ve never been any more West than here, too many bumps along the way. I’m waiting for them to fix up the track so it will be a smoother journey,’ he tells you. ‘But,’ he adds proudly, ‘I haven’t moved even one inch East in the past few years.’
How seriously would you take that man’s advice to go West? If West is the way to go, maybe it’s worth travelling over some bumps to make progress in that direction? Values are like compass directions. They’re meaningless unless you move. Saying that you really like going West doesn’t mean a whole lot if you don’t take at least a small step in that direction. That doesn’t mean it’s always going to be easy to move West or that you can move miles in that direction every day. Some days it feels like there are things pulling you in every direction or stopping you from moving at all. The blocks might be thoughts, feelings, memories, physiological sensations or other people and their rules. But it’s still worthwhile to move in the directions you care about even if sometimes you are only able to take tiny steps.
(Stuff that Sucks, p 50)”
― Stuff That Sucks: A Teen's Guide to Accepting What You Can't Change and Committing to What You Can
A year later you pass the same station and the guy is still there. Right there. He hasn’t moved one inch in a westerly direction. This time you stop and ask him why he is such a big fan of going West, and he tells you about all the things he has read about the direction West, recommends some useful websites, and even shows you some pictures he has cut out of pamphlets, depicting things you will see if you go West. You ask him what is the best thing he has ever seen while travelling West, and he shakes his head.
‘I’ve never been any more West than here, too many bumps along the way. I’m waiting for them to fix up the track so it will be a smoother journey,’ he tells you. ‘But,’ he adds proudly, ‘I haven’t moved even one inch East in the past few years.’
How seriously would you take that man’s advice to go West? If West is the way to go, maybe it’s worth travelling over some bumps to make progress in that direction? Values are like compass directions. They’re meaningless unless you move. Saying that you really like going West doesn’t mean a whole lot if you don’t take at least a small step in that direction. That doesn’t mean it’s always going to be easy to move West or that you can move miles in that direction every day. Some days it feels like there are things pulling you in every direction or stopping you from moving at all. The blocks might be thoughts, feelings, memories, physiological sensations or other people and their rules. But it’s still worthwhile to move in the directions you care about even if sometimes you are only able to take tiny steps.
(Stuff that Sucks, p 50)”
― Stuff That Sucks: A Teen's Guide to Accepting What You Can't Change and Committing to What You Can
“Being willing to feel my pain isn't another strategy I can use to avoid my pain. It is genuinely accepting that sometimes stuff really sucks. Sometimes life can really hurt. Sometimes this world isn't what I signed up for. Sometimes I still feel like I would do anything not to have these feelings and these thoughts... Willingness to allow suffering to be there is hard. Damn hard. And often frightening too. And the only thing harder is not being willing to allow suffering to be there.”
― Stuff That Sucks: A Teen's Guide to Accepting What You Can't Change and Committing to What You Can
― Stuff That Sucks: A Teen's Guide to Accepting What You Can't Change and Committing to What You Can
“Figure out what you care about... and then care about it”
― Stuff That Sucks: A Teen's Guide to Accepting What You Can't Change and Committing to What You Can
― Stuff That Sucks: A Teen's Guide to Accepting What You Can't Change and Committing to What You Can
“Figure out what you care about...
and then care about it”
― Stuff That Sucks: A Teen's Guide to Accepting What You Can't Change and Committing to What You Can
and then care about it”
― Stuff That Sucks: A Teen's Guide to Accepting What You Can't Change and Committing to What You Can
