Ivy Keating's Blog - Posts Tagged "success"
Right or Wrong
When you ask someone's opinion, whether it's on a book you've written or how you look in a new sweater, you open yourself up to criticism. But, how do you know when to listen to advice or ignore it? How do you know what's right or wrong for you?
The first thing to consider is, who is giving you the advice? Does this person have expertise in the field? In the example of writing a book, if the critique is from a publisher, the critique should be considered seriously.
Next, think about your expertise on the subject. In the example of writing a book, are you a new author? If you are, then definitely listen to criticism. This doesn't mean you have to change anything, but it's definitely a learning opportunity.
Most importantly, understand yourself. What are your limitations? What do you need help with? What are you good at? What are you confident about? You must really know you and be secure with what you are presenting. This will help you know from within if a change is needed.
The decision to change something about your work or wardrobe has to feel right for you. Keep an open mind to feedback, particularly from people who have knowledge on the subject, but the final decision must come from within.
The first thing to consider is, who is giving you the advice? Does this person have expertise in the field? In the example of writing a book, if the critique is from a publisher, the critique should be considered seriously.
Next, think about your expertise on the subject. In the example of writing a book, are you a new author? If you are, then definitely listen to criticism. This doesn't mean you have to change anything, but it's definitely a learning opportunity.
Most importantly, understand yourself. What are your limitations? What do you need help with? What are you good at? What are you confident about? You must really know you and be secure with what you are presenting. This will help you know from within if a change is needed.
The decision to change something about your work or wardrobe has to feel right for you. Keep an open mind to feedback, particularly from people who have knowledge on the subject, but the final decision must come from within.
Pencil Me In
Today, many people are finding that their normal daily routine has been changed due to no fault of their own. If you are someone that feels they need an external stimulus to get motivated, now is the the time to to use effective strategies that can help you structure your day.
Why structure? Structure can help us feel secure in the sense that it gives us direction, purpose, and a path to reach our goals.
Think about something you want to achieve. Maybe you want to finish writing a book or learn how to use a new computer program.
Now, brainstorm - think of all the things you have to do to reach that goal. To learn a new computer program you may have to research what the best program for your needs are, watch a tutorial, upload information, etc. Write out what it takes to reach your goal.
Goals that are grand are usually harder to reach. A good trick is to focus on the step right in front of you instead of thinking about how far you have to go.
Every day, check your list and set aside some time to work on the behaviors you listed. By creating a new schedule for yourself, in absence of your regular daily routine, you may find you can achieve something you didn't have time to before.
Why structure? Structure can help us feel secure in the sense that it gives us direction, purpose, and a path to reach our goals.
Think about something you want to achieve. Maybe you want to finish writing a book or learn how to use a new computer program.
Now, brainstorm - think of all the things you have to do to reach that goal. To learn a new computer program you may have to research what the best program for your needs are, watch a tutorial, upload information, etc. Write out what it takes to reach your goal.
Goals that are grand are usually harder to reach. A good trick is to focus on the step right in front of you instead of thinking about how far you have to go.
Every day, check your list and set aside some time to work on the behaviors you listed. By creating a new schedule for yourself, in absence of your regular daily routine, you may find you can achieve something you didn't have time to before.
Motivation
If motivation is the general desire to do something, then it's probably not lack of motivation that prevents us from reaching our goals.
The following are three common reasons we put off doing something we say we want to do.
1) There are aspects of reaching the goal that we don't like.
2) We don't know where to start.
3) We don't have a clear path to reaching the goal, so we become overwhelmed.
Here are a couple tricks to get you over the hurdles above and back on the path to success.
Usually there are elements of any activity that we love and some we do not. Take, for example, writing a novel; you may love crafting a story, but you may not enjoy editing it. Take a moment to think about why each step is necessary. Acknowledge "editing" is not your favorite. Then, try the Premack Principle and plan to do something you like after you complete the undesirable task. Modifying the environment may help, too. Keep your favorite drink handy or a book that inspired you on your desk as you continue to work.
If getting started is difficult, think about the very first step you need to take. Focus on it alone. A book can take years from conception to publication, but it starts with pressing the letters on the keyboard.
When we feel overwhelmed, it's hard to act. A great way to combat this is to put together a step by step plan. Break-down a huge task into manageable pieces. Finding a publisher or an agent is hard, but the first step is to create the book-then do a ton of editing-then create a query letter-and then look up publishers and/or agents that work with your genre. If you're not sure what to do next, researching the subject will give you the confidence to proceed.
If you're putting off reaching your goals, try modifying your method--it's likely you have all the motivation you need!
The following are three common reasons we put off doing something we say we want to do.
1) There are aspects of reaching the goal that we don't like.
2) We don't know where to start.
3) We don't have a clear path to reaching the goal, so we become overwhelmed.
Here are a couple tricks to get you over the hurdles above and back on the path to success.
Usually there are elements of any activity that we love and some we do not. Take, for example, writing a novel; you may love crafting a story, but you may not enjoy editing it. Take a moment to think about why each step is necessary. Acknowledge "editing" is not your favorite. Then, try the Premack Principle and plan to do something you like after you complete the undesirable task. Modifying the environment may help, too. Keep your favorite drink handy or a book that inspired you on your desk as you continue to work.
If getting started is difficult, think about the very first step you need to take. Focus on it alone. A book can take years from conception to publication, but it starts with pressing the letters on the keyboard.
When we feel overwhelmed, it's hard to act. A great way to combat this is to put together a step by step plan. Break-down a huge task into manageable pieces. Finding a publisher or an agent is hard, but the first step is to create the book-then do a ton of editing-then create a query letter-and then look up publishers and/or agents that work with your genre. If you're not sure what to do next, researching the subject will give you the confidence to proceed.
If you're putting off reaching your goals, try modifying your method--it's likely you have all the motivation you need!
Only 3?
I believe there are only 3 ways to deal with a problem. We can either (1) do nothing or try to ignore it, (2) attempt to cope, or (3) work on a solution. Depending on the situation any one of these could work, but coping or solving are probably the best choices.
Problems can be ignored, but they often don't go away. If you tend to be lazy, it may not bother you to miss an outing with friends, but the tendency to be lazy could be a major problem when looking for a publisher for your new book. If you opt to ignore a problem, take note if it's stopping you from reaching your goals. Identifying a characteristic that's standing in your way is the first step to changing it.
Attempting to cope with a problem might be the perfect in-between step when you'd actually like to work on an issue but feel overwhelmed by it. For example, let's say you completed a novel. You send it to a bunch of publishers, and everyone rejects it. Initially, you may need to check your feelings. Rejections don't have to mean it's time to give up. Rejections can mean you haven't found the right publisher for your book, or your novel needs work but still has a lot of potential. Taking the time to "cope" can give you the level-head necessary to make the right choices going forward.
The third choice when faced with a problem is to try and solve it. You have your wits about you, and you're ready to do the behaviors necessary to work on it. In the example of not finding a publisher, you've recognized that a rewrite is needed, or maybe you have decided that there are publishers out there that could be a better fit.
Being aware of our difficulties, and thinking about the best way to manage them, can help us cope with a problem. Recognizing these 3 strategies can help us choose the right one when needed. Difficulties that are ignored could hold us back. Managing our feelings could help us choose the right path. And, solving the problem can take us closer to our goals!
Problems can be ignored, but they often don't go away. If you tend to be lazy, it may not bother you to miss an outing with friends, but the tendency to be lazy could be a major problem when looking for a publisher for your new book. If you opt to ignore a problem, take note if it's stopping you from reaching your goals. Identifying a characteristic that's standing in your way is the first step to changing it.
Attempting to cope with a problem might be the perfect in-between step when you'd actually like to work on an issue but feel overwhelmed by it. For example, let's say you completed a novel. You send it to a bunch of publishers, and everyone rejects it. Initially, you may need to check your feelings. Rejections don't have to mean it's time to give up. Rejections can mean you haven't found the right publisher for your book, or your novel needs work but still has a lot of potential. Taking the time to "cope" can give you the level-head necessary to make the right choices going forward.
The third choice when faced with a problem is to try and solve it. You have your wits about you, and you're ready to do the behaviors necessary to work on it. In the example of not finding a publisher, you've recognized that a rewrite is needed, or maybe you have decided that there are publishers out there that could be a better fit.
Being aware of our difficulties, and thinking about the best way to manage them, can help us cope with a problem. Recognizing these 3 strategies can help us choose the right one when needed. Difficulties that are ignored could hold us back. Managing our feelings could help us choose the right path. And, solving the problem can take us closer to our goals!
Being Effective
Making effective choices can help us reach our goals, but sometimes our need to be right can stand in our way.
At first, when we're faced with an obstacle, we often react emotionally and try to defend our present position. Let's take an everyday example. If you go into a store and the line to purchase your item is long, what should you do? You could complain to the manager, it's within your right to be annoyed, but that will not help you buy your item any faster. Even leaving the store and buying the product online may not be the answer. This will certainly take longer than waiting it out. Most likely, the best solution is to keep your cool and suffer the long line. You may be in your right to complain, but the most effective way for you to leave with your product is to wait.
The point is, when you have a goal in mind, don't let your emotions get the better of you. Being right about something may feel good in the moment, but it may not get you closer to success.
My first book, Camouflage, took me two years to find a publisher. I liked the original story but when more than one publisher said the action did not start soon enough, I put emotions to the side and acknowledged professionals in the industry know more than I do.
To reach your goals, analyze the reality of the situation. Validate your emotions and then put them aside. Take the necessary steps by focusing on what actions will be most effective. Then, you can take pride in knowing it was your effective behaviors that led you to success.
At first, when we're faced with an obstacle, we often react emotionally and try to defend our present position. Let's take an everyday example. If you go into a store and the line to purchase your item is long, what should you do? You could complain to the manager, it's within your right to be annoyed, but that will not help you buy your item any faster. Even leaving the store and buying the product online may not be the answer. This will certainly take longer than waiting it out. Most likely, the best solution is to keep your cool and suffer the long line. You may be in your right to complain, but the most effective way for you to leave with your product is to wait.
The point is, when you have a goal in mind, don't let your emotions get the better of you. Being right about something may feel good in the moment, but it may not get you closer to success.
My first book, Camouflage, took me two years to find a publisher. I liked the original story but when more than one publisher said the action did not start soon enough, I put emotions to the side and acknowledged professionals in the industry know more than I do.
To reach your goals, analyze the reality of the situation. Validate your emotions and then put them aside. Take the necessary steps by focusing on what actions will be most effective. Then, you can take pride in knowing it was your effective behaviors that led you to success.
Level of Activity
When trying to reach our goals, it's important to maintain a certain "level of activity." But what does this mean?
The "level of activity" refers to 1) researching the necessary steps to accomplish our dreams, and 2) carrying them out. This is easier said then done, in fact, it's likely that this is one of the key reasons so many people abandon their desires. The difficulty comes when we feel overwhelmed by where we are today and how far we have to go. The space between where we are today and what we want to accomplish is often filled with unknowns. If insecurity and fear creeps in, we may put our goals on hold. To stop this from happening it's wise to engage in small manageable activities that move us in the right direction. Once this momentum is started,it propels us toward where we want to be.
Let's say your goal is to join a book club, but you're shy about meeting knew people. An initial step could be to research the clubs in your area. If you're not ready to meet with a group in person, perhaps online is best. Remember-the level of activity refers to discovering a number of available clubs. This will give you some nice options. If days go by and you haven't even done an Internet search, your level of activity is quite low, and your goal will remain aloof. Next, choose your club and look into becoming a member. Maybe you've chosen a club with many members where you can listen-in, or perhaps a small group is best. At this point your level of activity refers to spending time to think about which specific group you will enjoy the most. By now, your goal should be familiar to you and you're equipped with the information needed to join.
Goals can be hard to achieve. The more active you are in working toward them, the more you'll replace the fears that derail them with the security of knowledge. Increase your level of activity, and enjoy your success.
The "level of activity" refers to 1) researching the necessary steps to accomplish our dreams, and 2) carrying them out. This is easier said then done, in fact, it's likely that this is one of the key reasons so many people abandon their desires. The difficulty comes when we feel overwhelmed by where we are today and how far we have to go. The space between where we are today and what we want to accomplish is often filled with unknowns. If insecurity and fear creeps in, we may put our goals on hold. To stop this from happening it's wise to engage in small manageable activities that move us in the right direction. Once this momentum is started,it propels us toward where we want to be.
Let's say your goal is to join a book club, but you're shy about meeting knew people. An initial step could be to research the clubs in your area. If you're not ready to meet with a group in person, perhaps online is best. Remember-the level of activity refers to discovering a number of available clubs. This will give you some nice options. If days go by and you haven't even done an Internet search, your level of activity is quite low, and your goal will remain aloof. Next, choose your club and look into becoming a member. Maybe you've chosen a club with many members where you can listen-in, or perhaps a small group is best. At this point your level of activity refers to spending time to think about which specific group you will enjoy the most. By now, your goal should be familiar to you and you're equipped with the information needed to join.
Goals can be hard to achieve. The more active you are in working toward them, the more you'll replace the fears that derail them with the security of knowledge. Increase your level of activity, and enjoy your success.
