David W. Augsburger

“One must forgive, or he will not be forgiven. If one does not forgive her sister or brother, she will not be forgiven of God who forgives us our debts as we forgive our debtors. If I refuse to forgive another, the resentment, the brooding over retaliation, the desire for repayment can poison my own spirit.... Unfortunately, it is the self-liberating side of forgiveness that is frequently valued to the exclusion or the omission of the reconciling concern for the relationship. If I forgive another because resenting would be self-destructive, and withholding forgiveness would cut me off from right relationships with the One whose forgiveness is needed above all, I've missed the whole point. No matter how noble or splendid I may feel, it is not at all what Jesus intended. The goal of caring, of confrontation, of forgiveness is not self-salvation, it is reconciliation. The end intended is to regain the brother, to recover the sister, to restore the relationship.... The goal is community restored, not private perfection maintained. When 'forgiveness' ends open relationship, leaves people estranged, don't rush to it, it's not forgiveness; it's a face-saving, self-saving, time-saving escape.... When what was estranged is brought back into fellowship again; when what was fragmented is whole again, when what was alienated is reunited, then forgiveness has come.”
― David W. Augsburger, Caring Enough to Forgive--Caring Enough Not to Forgive