Michael Joe Armijo's Blog

“A clean home, a clean body, and clean company.  Do you know where that leads?” To a clean conscience.  To a good, clean life.” --Nita Prose, in her book THE MAID 

The evening before Alan, my mom and I flew from LAX to Rome we watched a movie called RANDOM HEARTS.   We really enjoyed it.  Harrison Ford and Kristin Scott Thomas are great together in this romantic drama.  It was directed by Sydney Pollack (who lived near us when we were living in Pacific Palisades).  He waved to us a couple of times during morning walks.  The film starred Harrison Ford and Kristin Scott Thomas and was based on the 1984 novel by Warren Adler.  It is about a police officer and a Congresswoman who discover that their spouses were having an affair prior to being killed in an air disaster. 

Our Italian journey began on a cool Sunday evening, October 10, 1999, at the Bradley Terminal at LAX. As we waited for our flight, we set the tone for the trip with four gigantic Cobb salads at the Daily Grill—far more than we could possibly finish. After a nine-and-a-half-hour Air France flight to Paris and a connecting hop to Rome, we arrived bleary-eyed, hungry, and stiff from those airline seats that seemed designed to test one’s willpower. 

Arrival in Rome – October 11 

When we finally landed in Rome around 5:40 PM European time, the excitement washed over us. My luggage came out quickly—thankfully, since the taxi driver seemed determined to “rip us off” with his fee. We drove through the beautiful Borghese section of Rome to our charming hideaway, the Hotel Lord Byron, where Virginia and Gloria shared a spacious room with “comfy” beds. 

But there was no time to rest; dinner awaited. The concierge sent us to a local favorite, Ristorante Ambasciata d’Abruzzo. We strolled through the streets, soaking in Rome’s magic, before settling into a meal of antipasti, fish, and delicious wine. By the time we walked back to the hotel, our two days of travel caught up with us, and we collapsed into bed. The weather was perfect, matching Alan’s five-day forecast predictions. 

The Vatican & Roman Wonders – October 12 

We all awoke refreshed at 7:10 AM. Breakfast was a feast: cappuccinos, salami, and warm bread. I even practiced Italian with the waiters as I was eager to learn. 

Our first destination was The Vatican. A taxi whisked us there, and as we walked through the museum toward the Sistine Chapel, we rented audio guides that enriched the experience. I marveled at Saint Peter’s Basilica, wishing we could stay there for days. 

Lunch was in a hidden Roman café, where the homemade fettuccini rivaled anything, I’d ever tasted. Afterwards, we explored the Roman Forum, listening to stories of ancient Rome through our audio guides. 

Later, I suggested we try the subway like the locals do—a chaotic but thrilling adventure that ended at the Spanish Steps, where we wandered among designer boutiques and crowds of people. Before leaving Rome, I caught a snapshot of Gloria, looking better than one of those Italian portrait paintings. 

By evening, we dined at Orso, where I happily filled up on antipasti.  After dinner, we visited the Pantheon, Piazza Navona, and the Trevi Fountain, its waters shimmering under the Roman night sky. Finding a taxi at 11 PM was no small feat, but patience prevailed. 

The Road to Positano – October 13 

The next morning, we savored a final breakfast at the hotel before tackling the Hertz rental car ordeal. The taxi driver tried to overcharge us again—this time for refusing to drive into the parking lot! With a bit of maneuvering, we packed our luggage into a roomy Opel and headed south. 

Photo: Mom and I in POSITANO, Italy

We stopped at an AutoGrill, discovering that even highway food in Italy could be ‘delicioso’. The RUSTICA sandwiches were unlike anything I’d ever eaten on a road trip. 
The drive to Positano was breathtaking and terrifying, with narrow cliffside roads and moments where only one car could pass. At last, we reached Le Sirenuse, our luxurious hotel perched high above the sea. The view left us speechless. 

Dinner that evening at La Sponda, serenaded by a guitarist playing As Time Goes By, was magical. We toasted to our journey with milk chocolate, snacks from the AutoGrill, and plans for the next day. 

Island of Capri – October 14 

The day began with excitement as Alan and I woke up early, announcing a spontaneous trip to Capri. After a beautiful breakfast overlooking the Mediterranean, we boarded a boat to the island. 

At the Blue Grotto, we faced a surprising challenge: we had to transfer into a tiny rowboat to enter the glowing cave. The experience was breathtaking yet harrowing.  I fell or slipped a bit while I was being helped onto the raft-like boat, cutting myself slightly. Inside, the turquoise light was like something out of a dream.  We were all laughing so hard because we didn’t expect to transfer from the boat to a raft.  The Blue Grotto water looked like holy water to me, so I poured that water on my wound.  My skinned lower leg felt a sting (not good), so the coolness of the water felt reassuring.  I figured the water would help me heal faster. 

Back on shore, we explored Capri, shopped for souvenirs, and lunched at a glamorous five-star hotel. As the day ended, we returned to Positano, still laughing over the wild Blue Grotto adventure. That evening, dinner at La Sponda was once again exceptional, though Alan fumed over $15 desserts and the endless upselling of mineral water. 

Amalfi Coast & Ravello – October 15 

Virginia and Gloria awoke on their own and enjoyed breakfast with a dramatic ocean view. Later, we drove along the stunning Amalfi Coast to Ravello.  The views were so magnificent. I bought fresh fruit at a local market, and we returned to Positano for a relaxing tea service at Le Sirenuse. 

Dinner that night was at Da Vicenzo Ristorante, a cozy spot recommended by the concierge. We met locals and travelers, including an artist who claimed to have painted thousands of works, including portraits of Picasso and Andy Warhol. 

Florence Bound – October 16 

The next morning, we packed our car for the drive to Florence, with a planned stop at the Prada Outlet. Navigating the backroads and confusing signs was a challenge, but eventually, we arrived. After waiting in line, we shopped to our hearts’ content: handbags, shoes, cool clothes and gifts galore. 

By 4:30 PM, we reached the Grand Hotel, settling into our elegant suites. Alan went to the Internet café to check on a Los Angeles earthquake he’d heard about, while we prepared for dinner. 

Florence Adventures – October 17 

We began the day with breakfast before strolling along the Arno River, visiting the Duomo, and marveling at the Ponte Vecchio Bridge. The Uffizi Museum was too crowded, so we explored the streets, shopped for sweaters, and sampled local pizza.  I figured I’d go to the Uffizi Museum on a separate trip soon.  

In the evening, Alan and I discovered a free violin concert nearby. Before attending, we stopped at a bar for white wine and peach schnapps. The concert was enchanting, but we escaped without being noticed just in time for our dinner reservation.

Dinner was delicious—Alan and I shared a Florentine steak, while Gloria and mom savored vegetarian plates. 

Milan Finale – October 18 

We left Florence early, stopping at another AutoGrill on our way to Milan. Rain accompanied us as we navigated narrow streets with the help of my maps. Our final hotel, The Palace, was regal and elegant. 

Dinner that night was a feast: risotto, pasta, bruschetta, and the highlight—veal Milanese. It was the perfect finale to our culinary journey. 

As we prepared to leave Italy, Alan negotiated parking with the hotel doorman—5,000 lire solved everything. With a final toast, we said, “Arrivederci, Italy.”   We fly to Madrid, Spain next. 

It was always better to say less.  “In the meantime, you can’t let your head become empty.” --Min Jin Lee, in his book PACHINKO 

‘Every life contains many millions of decisions.  Those choices lead to different outcomes.  If you had done one thing differently you would have a different life story.’--Matt Haig, in his book, THE MIDNIGHT LIBRARY 

Monica Small who is now married to her new Christian husband is living in Saint Louis, Missouri.  That’s a place I’ve never been (nor do I have much desire to do so).  She sent an artsy postcard of “Lilly Anne and the Fish Parade” by Joe Sorren: 

Hi Michael and Alan, 

Thanks again for the postcard from the Golden Door.  What a nice reminder of the upcoming change from Summer to Fall.  I’m already seeing a lot of things I want to photoshoot. 

Love, 

Moni 

Monday, October 4, 1999 

This is a photo of Alan Neil Freeman. He was born on April Fool’s Day 1952. He’s no fool though. He’s left-handed which means he actively uses the side of his brain others don’t. 
Alan and I met on Nov. 20, 1989. We will be a couple for 10 years next month! On our anniversary we will be in Paris, France. He’s such a good planner. He knows how to make me happy. I love it when I wake up in the morning and he says, I have an idea. 

Photo: Alan Neil Freiman

Even if the idea is something as simple as going to Peet’s Coffee for a latte cappuccino & slice of banana nut bread. When he has an idea, it always pertains to us doing something worthwhile. Alan makes my life exciting. I make Alan’s life exciting. We feed off each other. I learn from him. He learns from me. 

We crave knowing the latest business craze or the newest internet idea. Most important is that we make each other laugh & share a sense of humor. He’s sensitive. I’m sensitive. We have more excitement ahead of us with the New York City Tribeca loft being available soon. It will add another dimension to our life. 

Alan and I are even running a business together now: Verona Capital Management — named after a city in Italy we both love & experienced in October 1998. Alan is my significant other. If I hadn’t moved to Los Angeles from Northern California in Nov. 1989 our paths may not have crossed. We are lucky… luckier than most. I must keep reminding myself of that fact! 

This is a photo of my mother, Virginia Marie Armijo, at age sixteen. In this photo I see a sweet, innocent schoolgirl from a very smalltown (Cerrillos, New Mexico.). She was born on Sept. 6, 1935. Growing up, she was more of a mother to me. I always saw my mom as a friend. She’s still my friend. I love her very much. She knows I love her. She loves me. 

Photo: Mom, Virginia Marie Lucero-Armijo

I just had a flashback of the trip I took her on in New York City. We took the horse carriage ride around Central Park. For a smalltown girl from Cerrillos, NM, I’m sure New York City was an eye-opener for her. We had such a great time on that trip. 

Now — Alan, my mother + Alan’s mother, Gloria Weiner Freeman Cohen depart on Oct. 16th (THIS MONTH!) for a wonderful European trip to Italy + Spain. My mother’s knowledge of Spanish will come in handy (I hope).  I know the dialects make a difference. 

I call my mom almost every day. She married my dad, Joe Nelson Armijo, on June 15, 1957. My father died on 8-29-1987. They were married 30 years. I know she misses him, but she still has me, her son + friend. She’s also got my brothers. She’s got 6 grandchildren. She’s really a lucky woman in her own right. 

When I see her 16-year-old smile in this photo + the gleam in her eye — I can see her today at age 64 with the same smile + the same gleam in the eye. No, she’s not perfect. There’s that New Mexico Lucero — stubborn factor. If she has a point of view — good luck changing her mind unless you use some gentle, loving persuasion. 

October 5, 1999 

My cousin, Mary Ann in Colorado Springs sent me this card with the gorgeous autumn leaves. In this card she reveals why she likes me. 

Mary Ann surprises me. I didn’t even remember this book — but I apparently sent Mary Ann a book for her birthday in Nov. 1998 called Finding Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi about The Psychology of Engagement with Everyday Life. Then, she recently sent the book back to me with this yellow stick-’em note. 

Well, I just finished the book. I highlighted the lines that impacted me: 

“To live: it must mean to live in fullness, without waste of time and potential, expressing one’s uniqueness, yet participating intimately in the complexity of the cosmos.” 

“What makes a life… serene, useful + worth living? The actual quality of life — what we do, and how we feel about it — will be determined by our thoughts and emotions; by the interpretations we give to chemical, biological, and social processes.” 

Whether we like it or not, each of us is constrained by limits on what we can do and feel. To achieve excellence, we must first understand the reality of the everyday with all its demands + potential frustrations. 

Give and take a few hours, most people sleep 1/3 of the day, and use the remainder to work, travel + rest in the same proportions as baboons do. 

“Like the rest of us, he must pull his trousers on one leg at a time.” 

Thus the limitations on attention, which determines the amount of psychic energy we have for experiencing the world, provide an inflexible script for us to live by. 

How a person lives depends in large part on sex, age, + social position. So while the main parameters of life are fixed, & no person can avoid resting, eating, + at least some work, humanity categorizes that determine to a content of experience. 

This is a lot to take in all at once, but she didn’t stop.  Here are more key points she had to share about FINDING FLOW:  

The Joy of Solving Problems 

Inspired by Frank Offener: “If I can solve it, it is fun. Isn’t solving problems what makes life interesting?” 

Life is about embracing challenges rather than avoiding them. 

Attention, Control, and Flow 

The crucial skill is learning to control attention. 

The activity itself—not the outcome—matters most. 

Flow comes when we focus deeply on what we do. 

Common Good and Commitments 

A good life requires working for the common good, appreciating religion, art, and ineffable aspects of life. 

Modern danger: people are so enamored with themselves that they avoid commitments. 

Commitment and responsibility to humankind give life meaning. 

The Problems with Jobs 

Jobs are often resented because: 

They feel pointless. 

They are boring and lack variety. 

They are stressful, undermining flow. 

Successful people manage attention by prioritizing, delegating, and tackling tasks strategically. 

Relationships as a Source of Meaning 

Alongside work, relationships shape the quality of life. 

Balance is needed between the rewards of work and those of relationships. 

“A genuine flow of conversation is one of the highlights of existence.” 

Happiness and Growth 

It’s not enough just to be happy; the goal is to be happy while stretching our skills, fulfilling our potential, and doing excellent work. 

Amor Fati – Love of Fate 

Accept ownership of one’s actions, even when imposed from outside. 

Learn to love even the difficulties—this shapes resilience and wisdom. 

“Our actions reverberate through time and shape the evolving future.” 

Reflection and Self-Knowledge 

Reflection is vital but must be skillful; otherwise, it worsens problems instead of solving them. 

Develop the habit of reflection on life with an upbeat, forward-looking mood. 

Self-knowledge allows us to transform ego into a helper and ally. 

Building a Fulfilled Life 

Act as if the future of the universe depends on your choices—even if they seem small. 

The self can become a rock upon which to build a fulfilling life. 

Creativity and self-awareness are essential for a purposeful existence. 

Final Emphasis 

The formula for greatness is Amor Fati—to not only endure what life brings, but to love it. 

“If I want to learn more about those who make things beautiful, then I must learn to see as beautiful what is necessary.” 

Cousin MaryAnn Montoya-Gehling also sent an email to me and Cousin Linda in Idaho.  In a nutshell these are the key points she shared.  She was writing from home after a spur-of-the-moment trip to the GARDEN OF THE GODS with “Honey” (that’s what she calls her husband:  

The visit: Gorgeous fall day.  We walked the trails, revisited the old pavilion site, and noticed new park signage that echoed wording from our book about “if these rocks could speak”—flattering, if a bit like uncredited borrowing. 

Signature Rock: They re-found the name W. Rice and reflected on family pioneer history. 

Phoebe Hart Wells: Tender remembrance of their dear friend (granddaughter of “Fatty” Rice)—her help with photos, her quiet strength while ill, and her recent passing; sorrow at not seeing her one last time. 

Visitor Center stop: Quick check on their book and displays; warm welcome from staff (Rob) who announced, “The Gehling's are here!” — She and “honey” helped correctly place Phoebe’s family photo. 

Home slice: A nearly scorched roast salvaged; drop-in visit from MaryAnn’s sisters: Dottie & Jean returning from the Pueblo Chile festival with pink baby gifts. 

Family news: Megan’s birth planned for an induced labor (induction so mother, Rosemary, can have pain relief after stopping a blood thinner). Everyone’s betting on her looks; there are hopes for a redheaded, gray-eyed baby to round out the family palette. 

I received a postcard of MAZZARO from 1924, a watercolor by Paul Klee that is held at the San Francisco Museum of Art.  It was sent to me from Barbara Reynolds: 

Michael, 

I don’t remember ever seeing this “KLEE” before.  You know that Klee is the first artist that I remember.  I saw his work at an old UC Berkeley Museum probably in the 1960s.   

It’s a heat wave, nice for earing dresses.  I’m glad I have a ceiling fan.  Thanks to David for his encouragement.   

We had a fire drill at work at 370 3rd Street yesterday afternoon.  The whole building met at Yerba Buena Park.  Have you been there yet?  Knowing it would take a while for ren-entry to the building.  I dashed to the Museum of Modern Art bookstore looking for postcards.  What a delight that I found this one. 

Yeah, my cousin Rosie will be stopping at my place on October 18th and 19th with her friend, Joanna, en route from Southhampton England to Kauai, Hawaii.  I hope this is clear.  I absolutely love the jerky bus rides to work, now the vies of the bay are delightful. 

Love, 

Barbara 

10/6/99 

I’m going to a wedding in Santa Clara, CA with my mom on Friday, October 8th.  It’s for Dean Edward Gonzales and his fiancé, Renee.  Dean’s mom, Margaret A Espinosa-Gonzales is mom’s cousin.  I was just on the phone with mom and said, “We’ll just make the best of it.”  Edward Spinosa and his sisters Mabel and Margaret will be there so that’ll make it more fun.  

Alan wrote a postcard for me today: 

10/6/99 

Dear Michael, 

I don’t know how to tell you this, so I’ll just come out with it.  You’re the only one in the world I could have two breakfasts with and not be bored.  You never disappoint me with any lack of excitement as I do feel weak today.  

I should nap later.  Hopefully, you will nap with me, and we could have a little ‘romance’.  I’ll miss you when you go to the wedding, but I’ll be studying hard for the Series 7 test.  Next week at this time we will be in Rome! 

Love, 

Alan 

October 6, 1999, Wednesday 

Alan and I just had an argument. I asked him to take care of a single task regarding a lead we received in the Pasadena area. He was slow to react. The prospect wanted our website and didn’t leave the telephone number. It took me to call 411 to acquire the telephone # and make the call. Alan did come up with the idea to call Gloria to have our 3-page website informational faxed to the prospect. Alan was resentful of the way I spoke to him regarding this entire issue. He wanted an apology from me. Instead, I read him excerpts of the previous 4 pages about Flow & the Psychology of Everyday Life. 

Now, he just came out of the shower and asked if I wanted to make up. I said, “Yes.” We shook hands as our hands were held. He brought up negativity by suggesting that we should (perhaps) not be in business together if it was going to affect our personal happiness. Maybe he’s right… maybe we should be independent of each other when it comes to work. I just feel he’s not contributing or sharing in the work, and I don’t think it’s fair. He’s studying for his Securities exam again. 

Soon we will depart for a steak at The Palm in Beverly Hills with Jack & Gloria, and then we will move on to see SUNSET BLVD, starring Petula Clark. Hopefully tonight’s entertainment will smooth things over for us. After all, we have been together 24/7 lately. If we weren’t at each other’s throats occasionally, something would be wrong. 

I called George Rego today—just realizing that it was his 67th birthday. He’s so nice. He always says he loves me. Good ol’ Uncle George. I need to make him some money again. 

October 10, 1999, 5am Pacific Time 

Alan, Gloria, my mom & I are in flight, almost ready to land in Paris—it’s about 2pm Paris time right now. 

My eyes feel weary. I probably slept less than 30 minutes during this 10-hour flight. 

The stretching exercises & excess water drinking helped. Once we arrive in Paris—at the airport—maybe we’ll find a good pain au chocolat before we must get on the plane again for the additional 1 hour or so to Rome, Italy. 

I plan to take a chronology of photos on this trip. Hey—I need to take one of us on the plane now… time to get the camera in the transport bag. 

‘Look at that chess board we put back in place.  Look at how ordered, safe, peaceful it all looks now, before a game starts.  It’s a beautiful thing.  But it is boring.  It is dead.  And yet, the moment you make a move on that board, things change.’  In CHESS, as in LIFE, possibility is the basis of everything! --Matt Haig, in his book THE MIDNIGHT LIBRARY 

 

  

“To me it is far more important to know where you really are than where you hope to go someday, for the way your life is constituted it is certain that you, more than anyone else, will always wind up some other place than where you wanted to get.”--Gershom Scholem, as read in his book, WALTER BENJAMIN, The Story of a Friendship 

I just came from Nate n’ Al’s with Alan, Gloria and Jack.  Alan is now at the computer studying for his Series 7 Test that he will be taking in Glendale, CA on October 8th.  Alan is trying to give me assignments like plan the itinerary for our trip to Italy and Madrid.  What he doesn’t realize is that I already spent hours doing a portion of the itinerary and he hasn’t even looked at what I’ve come up with so far.  Whatever.  It’s nerve-racking.  There are other things I want to do.   

I just finished a book called NIGHTSWIMMER the other night.  I am currently reading the book called FINDING FLOW by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (try pronouncing that one!). It’s a book about the Psychology of Engagement with Everyday Life.  I find it quite fascinating to read.  It reminds me that the quality of one’s life is ONE’S OWN CHOICE.  We have our productive maintenance and leisure activities.  FINDING FLOW as I am finding is the culmination and exhilaration of one’s FAVORITE activities.  I think some of my ways of FINDING FLOW are through running, the gym, reading and writing.  I really believe those are MY FANTASTIC FOUR favorite activities.  Oh yes, the combination of listening to music while running or doing exercise adds some zest to my activities. 

Since September 20th when I last wrote in here, I’ve seen a few more movies.  While I enjoy movies as a leisure activity I’ve come to find more flow in my life by exercising, reading and writing.  I suppose I cannot ignore my love for creating (as in painting and ink drawings).  It’s calming therapy.  Movies and TV add an element ‘at the time of experiencing them’.  In a week or so the movie or TV show is long gone and, in many cases, ‘forgotten’.  I’m finding that when I read or write I CONCENTRATE more and learn new things.  I increase my vocabulary and gain new insight from my own personal perspective.  When I exercise (run/gym) I gradually FEEL and SEE the results from changed improvements in my body.  This is ideal and it makes me feel more alert and better about myself.  

When Alan and I went to see the movie GUINIVERE at the Writer’s Guild we invited Linda Rubin to sit with Alan and I as she was there (it was a LAFTA event).  She, in fact, got me enrolled as a LAFTA (LA Faculty and Teachers Association).  I don’t think Alan can stand her at times.  I’d say he despises Linda because some of her traits and characteristics are things that he abhors in himself.  I get that.  She is cheap and likes to brag about her accomplishments in making money in the stock market or whatever.  I admit she can be overbearing but she is uniquely intelligent.  She just doesn’t know when to keep her mouth shut.  

We saw STILL BREATHING, a movie we watched at home via video.  It was a romantic story with two of my favorite stars: Brendan Fraser and Joanna Going.  It’s one of those ‘fate meant for us to be together’ romance stories that often sweeps me away. 

Last night, Alan picked a film called ROMANCE.  We went with Jack and Gloria to the theaters to see it.  Boy oh boy...it was an ‘eye opener’ in terms of explicit sex, fantasy and full-frontal nudity.  It was amazing, a tad uncomfortable watching with Alan’s mom and stepdad but we’re all grown-ups, right?  It was a bit too explicit for me but it’s worthing seeing ONLY ONCE.  

One evening last week, Alan, Jack, Gloria and I attended the University of Judaism for a lecture and multi-media presentation about the survivors of the VOYAGE OF ST. LOUIS (On May 13, 1939 more than 900 Jewish refugees fled Nazi Germany by leaving Hamburg, sailing toward what they thought would be a safe haven.  This is the story of their ill-fated odyssey).  It was truly fascinating and sad.  It struck me how important family really is and how we ALL tend to forget this.  Maintaining contact with one’s family with an occasional phone call, email, postcard, Holiday greeting is important.  I’m fortunate to be reasonably connected to family mores than most.  I believe that I am. 

On October 1st Alan and I took our client, Bill Willcox to lunch.  He is currently our biggest client with almost $2.5 Million in assets.  It’s sad because he has children and they don’t seem to care much about him.  Bill says, “I never hear from children.  They live in Lake Tahoe and other places that escape me.”  When he was my client at Charles Schwab & Co. I always felt he wished he was the son he had.  He never told me that in those exact words, but one can sense these things.  Bill is an example of a man in his seventies who is lonely and has no family to speak of.  I remember his eyes watering when he and I spoke about his wife who had died about five years ago.  He has recently seemed to find interest in his retired nurse neighbor, Mary.  It seems they are going on a five-day trip to Sedona, Arizona.  Alan and I were glad to hear that he was taking this trip.  

The night of October 1st Alan and I went to Susan’s house (Alan’s ex-wife) as we were invited to a 50th Birthday party for her friend Ilene Straus.  Her father was there, and he told us, “I’m very lucky that my five children always like having me around.”  It was just the opposite of what Bill Willcox had told me.  What a contrast in families.  Then again, Ilene’s father seems more personable and social.  With Bill it is tough making conversation with him at times.  He has a back condition and goes to a chiropractor two times a week and an acupuncturist.  Like Alan said, “Bill doesn’t care about his money.  At this point, HEALTH is key for him—just being able to wake up and live each day.”  This was a profound statement by Alan.  I’m not so sure Bill knows how to enjoy his money.  I think the best way to enjoy money is to spend it on activities that create memories—even if it is as simple as packing a lunch and taking it to the beach shoreline to eat it and people watch, perhaps have a bit of conversation, play frisbee or simply read a Vanity Fair or Businessweek magazine.  I also believe in giving and seeing the joy and smile the receiver feels.  This is rewarding. 

3:30 PM, Sunday, Oct. 3, 1999 

I just wrote several cards to some people who continue to maintain such good contact with me. They are: 

Marie Antoinette Anaya  

Barbara Reynolds 

Monica Small Rady 

Reed & Deanna Campbell 

Edna Maestas de Garcia 

Paloma Alquier 

Notice—cards and letters from these special people are in this scrapbook off and on. They’re too sweet to keep me updated the way they do—and vice versa.  

Time for veggies on the roof. 

Here is what I wrote to PALOMA: 

3:00, Sunday Afternoon – October 3, 1999 

Dear Paloma, 

I saw another French film last night. WOW! It was very explicit with sex fantasies and frontal nudity. Have you seen it? The girl reminded me of you, knowing how sexual you are. How come you never asked me to tie you up? Only kidding, of course! It sure is the talk of L.A. + N.Y. this weekend though: ROMANCE. 

How are you, Alexandre – Jonathan? I was looking at a photo taken in 1996 by Luis of me, you, your dad, your stepmom + Luis’ girlfriend, Bernadette, at that time… Memories.  Does Bernadette still live on the Seychelle islands? 

What are you up to? As you know, we will be leaving Oct. 10th for Rome… then to Positano from 10–13 to 10–15, Florence 10–16 + 17, Milan 10–18 + 19 + then MADRID 10/20–10/24. Too bad you won’t be visiting your dad during that time… You could’ve gone to dinner with us + a show or something. Maybe the next time. 

Oh—here’s a postcard of that movie Romance. I sure would not call it a romantic film though—ha-ha. It was quite surprising to me—I am still thinking about it. Does that mean it was a good movie? Ha-ha 

Not much else is going on. We’re trying to keep our existing clients happy + trying to find new clients… maybe we will find a new client in Italy or Spain… You never know! 

Your e-mail doesn’t seem too responsive. Why don’t you e-mail me again at: ARMIJO59@HOTMAIL.COM. Perhaps I don’t have the correct one for you. 

It’s time to go on the roof for a veggie snack. I already went running today—so that’s good. 

Guess what! Halloween is right around the corner again! Our anniversary. When are you going to Vegas again? I guess it’s not easy with Jonathan in school now, etc. 

Thinking of you— 

Love, 
Michael Armijo 

 

11:40 AM, October 4, 1999 

I just rapidly went through my e-mail at home. My cousin Mary Ann Gehling is still at it. I think she’s obsessed and in awe of me. I have been e-mailing her about my runs (every other day) and my pelican sightings. 

She told me she looked in the encyclopedia for pelicans because she’s never seen one. I must be adding to her life in some ways. I’m happy about that though. I like when she writes to me, but she gets on my nerves when she rants and raves about my sharing my emotions and feelings. I think I do—but she’s never satisfied. 

She’s a strange woman in many ways. I’ll just take it in stride. At least she maintains contact. 

 Alan read in the NY Post last night that Jean-Georges, the ultra-famous French chef in Manhattan, bought a loft at 66 Leonard! He’ll be our neighbor—and rumor has it that he may open a new restaurant on the ground floor of the Textile Building. That would be so cool! 

I wonder who bought the $7 million penthouse though. 

I feel behind the times without a photo scanner! 

I received a few photos from Monica Small Rady today from Missouri. I love the shot of her dog, Sinbad. It’s something I must do. 

Last night I checked my Yahoo Auctions & found that someone won the 16 Dark Shadows paperbacks I own for $77.50. I e-mailed the winner but haven’t got a response yet. So, we’ll see how well this auction pans out. 

I was trying to sell one of my collectibles (Portrait in Taffeta Barbie) for $15 but no one is bidding. 

Today, Mattel stock is down 4 points to $12.875. Thank God I sold my shares at 39 or so a couple of years ago. The CEO, Jill Barad, certainly has her days numbered. It looks like little girls have moved on from Barbie to MTV + NSYNC. Fads change. 

Alan & I are getting a bit more into the TV scene this season. We like HBO’s Sex and the City and ABC’s Snoops and The Practice. I like WB’s Felicity. These TV shows are even better than a lot of movies showing out there! 

I’m getting aggravated because Alan is studying for the Series 7, and he just falsely accused me of monopolizing the computer. He’s such an ass sometimes!  I said I was going to the gym alone, and he thinks I’m “abandoning” him and adding to his stress and anxiety about having to take the test this Friday.  Well, I’m letting him study, and I’ve been telling him to study more. If anything, I deserve credit for that. 

 I ordered a couple of CDs on MP3 from two artists that I never found. It cost me $16—but I got one CD with Amsterdam German flavor and one from Denmark by young groups that sound like NSYNC & Boyzone. So, I’m excited about getting those. 

In addition, I ordered an 80’s compilation of tunes from CDNow, which included the song called Just A Gigolo—an old tune I used to hear during my long middle-bike riding days. That song made me accelerate. It is so upbeat. I love it.  It’s by a group called BARBIE AND THE KENS. 

I subscribed to a year of The Financial Times Weekender, and I haven’t received one issue yet! Unbelievable. I’ve spoken to Allison, Kim & Deanna—checking with their distributor. Of course, I’ll be in Italy + Spain soon—so let’s see if they can get it right this time. 

My cousin Mary Ann Gehling is now a grandma for the 4th time. She has 3 grandsons and now a granddaughter, Megan Rose. 

Sometimes I feel like I’d like to have a child. Actually, I do have one. The sperm donation in 1985 with the Bay Area Sperm Bank in Oakland, California was successful in impregnating a woman. I do have a child somewhere and I know it was a girl born around August 1985. 

I’m fortunate because Alan’s daughters Lauren & Carrie are like my girls. And my brother’s kids are like my own too. I really have nothing to cry about, do I?  I have kids in my life.   

My cousin Patrick Markus (Cecelia’s son) bought a new house in Cave Creek, Arizona. I sent them a little journal/house book of sorts from Felissimo in NYC. They sent me this thank-you card of acknowledgment. Although I don’t see many of my cousins frequently, I feel it’s the right thing to do to maintain at least “a thread” of contact now and then.  I’m so happy replied. 

Now, the Garcia Reunion 2000 is still a possibility come August 2000. I wrote Edna Maestas in Santa Fe a few of my ideas yesterday. Let’s see what kind of input she’ll offer. 

Photo: My New Journal book gift from Lauren and Carrie

I’d like to have a party in Las Vegas, NM, on a Friday; a potluck picnic on Saturday at Murphy Lake; and a Sunday tour of the town of Mora, New Mexico. This way, there will be 3 events to participate in.  It’s not an easy event to navigate. 

I just referred to my first page of this new Memoir Journal scrapbook. It was June 3, 1999. It’s been almost exactly four months of thoughts, pictures, feelings, letters, cards & other memorabilia.  I’m having fun with this. I’ll be able to start my next book soon. My next book was gifted to me from Lauren & Carrie. They knew that I’d write in it & I will. 

Someday, I will read & look back at all these entries. I hope I will laugh & maybe even cry. All I know is—the details to this fun book and future books are who I am & what I care about.  And—to whomever takes the time to read through all of this—I have a message for you: God bless you for caring & taking an interest in my life. We all go through stresses & hurdles in life. I hope my notes here add sparks & awakenings to someone searching… like I am continuously searching. 

‘Fixed meditation may do a great deal towards defining our longing or dread.  We are NOT always in a state of strong emotion, and when we are calm, we can use our memories and gradually change the bias of our fear, as we do our tastes...like VISION.” --George Eliot, DANIEL DERONDA 

‘Never ask about the future.’  This phrase reflects a philosophical approach to life that embraces uncertainty and living in the present. --Arthur Schnitzler, in his book DREAM STORY 

Cousin MaryAnn was flabbergasted by the ink drawing I had created from her photo of her as a little girl with her doll, Rosemary.  She wrote a very delightful Thank You card: 

Michael, 

You WOWED me.  I was totally surprised to get the ink drawing of Rosemary and me.  It was a WOW.  I was surprised by the time and effort you put into it.  My heart was warmed.  I’ll treasure it always. 

The story about innocence I had sent you was a perfect accomplishment to the painting.  You are a talented write and artist.  I have started reading TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE and I’ll let you know what I think of it when I am finished.  Thank you for the ink drawing, the story and the book. 

MaryAnn 

A day later, Cousin Sandra Cordova-Donald wrote a postcard using a postcard that I had sent her. 

Pearl, Mississippi 

Dear Cousin,   

How are you today, Michael?  I notice every little detail on the mail I receive from you.  All the stamps are very interesting and leave a history behind them.  My son Harmon Donald is in Africa.  He enjoys his work, but mom doesn’t like knowing my baby is on the other side of our world!   

Have you spent time with you mom lately?   

Our cousin, Vicky Ortega, wrote that she spent some time in New York, Boston and Cape Cod.  I have walked for thirty minutes but the heat and humidity are just too high.  I am looking forward to Fall.  Think of you, Michael. 

Love, 

Sandra Donald 

My cousin, Marie-Antoinette, also sent a sweet card with a 1998 photograph of a Sunrise over the Atlantic Ocean in Acadia National Park, Maine, photographed by Christopher Talbot Frank.  She wrote: 

Dear Michael 

Just received your letter and thought I’d better answer right away.  Monday is really my first graveyard shift.  I’m looking forward to it.  Everyone at work has called and say they can’t believe I’m going back to work.  They seem to be happy about it.  My daughter, Bernadette, says they should be.  I do my work and everybody else’s--but I do!  I love caring for the elderly.  I wish I had been given more time with my mom, but Our Lord needed her more. 

Anway, Colorado Springs is about a half hour drive from here in Pueblo.  I take Destyne to a school on Academy Boulevard and that’s on this side of Colorado Springs.  Downtown would probably take you fifteen additional minutes.  

We also got an invitation to Manuel and Fela Lucero’s 50th Wedding Anniversary.  I was hoping to get to see you again.  Maybe next time.  Is your mom planning on going?  If so, tell her I’ll see her there if the Lord is willed. 

My brother, David Lucero, and his wife, Molly, are coming down next week for Destyne’s 3rd birthday.  It’ll be good to have them here.   

How is your grandmother, Genevieve?  I’ve been beaning to wrote to her, but time just passes by so fast that I think you’re the only one I keep this much in contact with.  I write to Mabel Espinosa-Chavez in Albuquerque occasionally along with a couple of old friends from high school but that’s about it. 

Send my love to everyone there for me, so until I hear from you.  God Bless and Take Care Dear Cousin. 

Love You, 

Marie Antoinette 

P.S.  Sorry these days I don’t know which end is up.  

And my dear friend Barbara Reynolds in Berkeley sent a funny ‘Monkey Business’ postcard: 

Michael, 

Do you already have this classic postcard? Did you see the film SIXTH SENSE?  It’s movie magic.  Wow!   

You are amazing.  Can I visit you in New York? 

Did I already tell you David got a studio south of Lake Merritt?  I am enjoying my space and now on my second week back working at 370 3rd Street, Room 511 now I happened to see Brenda Goff.  I would not have recognized her.  Do you remember Winnie Wong?  I saw her last week and got a Big Hug!  I want to e-mail you.  It’s work out time though.  I’m adjusting now to new sleep hours and maybe I will retire from work before next year. 

Love, 

Barbara 

On September 25th Alan and I did the Santa Monica 5K Run.  I did it under an 8-minute mile.  I came in at 22 minutes.  Alan completed it at 30 minutes.  We are doing so well with our consistent running every other day.  I’m excited about our forthcoming trips but I can’t help but feel a quirk, knowing we won’t be getting all our running and gym days into our schedule—but we will still do abdominals daily. 

Barbara sent another card after seeing the new film called TWIN FALLS IDAHO.  I eventually did see it.  She wrote: 

Mike, 

Nice story.  It plugged into childhood memories of wanting to be part of the circus.  To you I would recommend this film especially since you are Gemini (twins).  Two of my new coworkers are Gemini.  They’re so easy to talk with.  Also, in Gemini vain I saw Brenda Goff once again.  She looks great and she showed me a photo of her daughter, Sabrina, who is in her last year of high school.  Your nieces must be about that age (?). 

The City of San Francisco is getting to be fun.  I saw Larry Houston today.  Did you know him?  I guess you would love a walk through this building.  I am hopeful to see Joan Lyons this week.  She’s training at 666 Folsom.  More later... 

Love, 

Barbara 

Our one hour consultation with Helen Settle paid off but she never became an ongoing client.  Still, she sent a nice note: 

Dear Michael and Alan, 

Many thanks for meeting me at my home on such short notice.  I took your proposal over to Christine Lee at Charles Schwab & Co. Yesterday, and she followed your instructions.  I am going up to Carmel until next week but will send you copies of the transactions when I return. 

Many Thanks, 

Helen 

Reed Campbell’s wife, Deanna, sent me a nice postcard from San Francisco this week.  It makes me want to re-visit San Francisco to see the latest changes: 

Hi! 

We are in town for a long weekend.  Reed goes home today, and I stay on for another week. Have you seen Moscone Center recently?  The whole area is unbelievable.   

Love, 

Deanna and Reed 

Alan and I have enjoyed some movies this week.  Specifically, STIR OF ECHOES, a sinister story starring Kevin Bacon; GUINEVERE (at the Writers Guild), a touching love story, with Stephen Rea, Sarah Polley, Jean Smart and Gina Gershon; JAKOB THE LIAR, a story of hope and triumph (at the Museum of Tolerance), starring Robin Williams, Alan Arkin and Liev Schreiber. 

Cousin MaryAnn sent me this email.  She refers to my ink drawing as a painting: 

From: MAnn223@aol.com 

To: armijo59@hotmail.com 

Subject: Like Minds / Nice / Weird 

Michael, 

It’s funny but I was in the bedroom getting dressed and I looked at the painting of me and Rosemary and I wondered if you knew how much I enjoy it. I thought of the story you sent with it. I love it. I thought I should write you again and tell you how much I love them. I thought of how our relationship has changed and how we are getting along. 

It would be hard to describe what the painting and the story mean to me. Sometimes I read the story and look at the painting. It’s lovely. A wonderful idea to do them together. 

When I am tired, I lay down and look at the painting. It was done with so much love. I can tell. I can feel it. When I look at it, I automatically feel better and more energetic. When I have a hard day, I gaze at the painting and things don’t seem so bad. When I miss you, I look at the painting and you are with me. When I go to bed at night, I look at it and fall asleep with good thoughts. When I wake up, I see it first thing and I think of you and smile. It’s a wonderful way to start the day. This is the only way I can describe what it means. 

I got dressed after gazing at the painting and I wished I would get a letter from you. There is something about handwriting that is different from email. But I knew you were too busy to write so I forgot about it. Then about 1/2 hr ago I checked the mail and there it was. Thank you, Michael. I needed it. Definitely springtime. The magnolias are blooming, the lilacs, and the cherry trees are all in bloom. We will stroll in the spring. Hand in hand, walking, smiling. Who knows? 

This is all more romantic than I wanted to be, but it’s true. We really do have a unique relationship. In so many ways we are very close, and in other ways we are very different. That’s what makes it work. I have been amazed that even though our hours are not the same, we have a relationship that is very real. I’ve enjoyed it. Thank you for writing me when I needed to hear from you today. 

I like you. I’m glad. 

MaryAnn 

Alan and I had dinner at ISLANDS with Herb on September 24th.  He’s always a hoot and I love when he says, “It’s delicious and nutritious.”  The following night (September 25th), Alan and I ate at THE PALM in West Hollywood with Jack and Gloria—always a fun place to be. 

Oh, and quite a busy week of correspondence as Cousin Edna wrote also: 

Dear Michael, 

I’m writing this letter while working at the election polls. I will be here all day. The hours are from 6:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. I really don’t understand why I do it, it certainly isn’t for the pay. 

Mike, Rickie, and I went to the State Fair two weekends ago. We always try to go at least once. We also were a little busy with fiestas two weekends ago. Both Mike and Rickie were in the parades. Rickie was dressed as a rooster for the pet parade. This past weekend I attended my annual women’s Christian retreat at Glorietta Conference Center. So, I’ve been a little busy. 

I found it interesting that you are focusing on your health (diet, exercise, etc.). Seventh Day Adventists also focus on health. In fact, we have a large network of health systems (hospitals, long term care facilities for the elderly, etc.) in the U.S. and internationally. 

How was New York? My husband said a co-worker is taking a leave to accompany her husband who is moving to New York for 9 months so that he can be trained as a broker. Anyway, my husband might be contacted to go and conduct some sort of occupational psychology class. Who knows, I may end up visiting New York after all. 

Teresa is now working at a food chain grocery store called Albertsons. She likes it because the pay is better, and she says time flies by. Her daughter Consuelo is a delight and fitting of her name. 

Well, between July and August I would have to say August sounds better. Why? I don’t know. Just a feeling, I guess. Please let me know what you have in mind. 

Take care Michael and keep enjoying life. I write again soon. 🙂  Edna 

Next week is a re-focus on running and the gym! 

‘In the end, some things are more important than one’s own joy.’--Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni in her book, THE MISTRESS OF SPICES 

"My job does not define me."--Meg Wolitzer, THE INTERESTINGS

There’s something about the first weeks of September—like a tide turning quietly in the soul. A slight chill in the morning air. The whisper of endings, beginnings, and the thin veil between memory and momentum. This past week, I found myself drifting between spreadsheets and cinema, old friends and silent heartbreaks, the present moment and a wave of nostalgia stirred by a single printed page from my cousin Mary Ann Gehling’s Dear Diary novel, set in November 1900.

Let me start where I left off...

Alan is now studying for his Series 7. We just returned from Gloria's Yom Kippur dinner, breaking the fast with reflections and spring travel plans. Gloria is already plotting her next trip—Paris in April or May 2000. She might bring Jack for the first week and spend the rest of the time alone. A brave thing to do==or maybe necessary.

Alan and I visited a new place Dan C took us to—Blue Palms in West Hollywood. He quoted Alan 15%  as a design fee for the interior design of the new Tribeca, NY loft.  Dan made it sound like it is a phenomenal rate.  I have no idea.  Dan is quite the character I must say.

Alan thinks Dan is in love with his business partner. However, the partner currently has a 40 year old boyfriend so that places Dan out-of-the-picture. But Dan’s entanglements seem messier—he’s also involved with a 19-year-old in Miami, and apparently paying $300 a night for dancers at the Gaiety (after they do their stripping show). At some point, the numbers become numbing.

Tomorrow, Alan and I will call Annabelle at 66 Leonard in New York City to see if we can convince her to remove the wall we don’t want. A silly battle, perhaps, but in design—like life—it’s the smallest spaces that matter most.

This week reminded me that memory is elastic. September stretches us between what was and what could be. Between old dinner tables and new design walls. Between Gipsy Kings concerts and Yom Kippur silences. Between the people who once loved us and the ones who never quite knew how.

As I light my candles tonight and sip a quiet glass of wine, I’ll remember the most important things—love, forgiveness, clarity.

A photo arrived in the mail of our men's group at the Golden Door.  That was such a magical week between swimming pool volleyball, hikes, dance, exercise routines that included weight training and boxing in addition to spa treatments daily.  We all looked transformed from the day we arrived to the day we left.  I like the group photo:  

Back Row:  Leo Walsh, Richard Bieder, Jeff Ayeroff, Ron deSalvo, Alan Freiman.  

Center Row:  joe Weiss, Marshall Ezralow, William Kelly, Alberto Andrade, Michael Joe Armijo, Bruce Eich, Dan Cuevas, John Bennett.  

Front Row:  Ted Pedas, Jerry Watson, Howard Stern, Gordon Diamond, Russell Hilliard, Stan Zack. 

And then came a letter from my dear friend Monty Ng in Bangkok, updating me on the ongoing economic downturn in Thailand and Southeast Asia. He sells premium and stationery products to stores like Makro and Tesco, and the economic ripple from China’s tightening grip has made survival an uphill battle.

"I’m still running my own business in Thailand… though the economy is in turmoil… I’m trying to take pre-emptive action against another round of downturn."

Monty is hoping to move to Canada permanently and work in California if a visa becomes available. His handwritten note asked about personal income taxes for Canadian permanent residents working in the U.S.—he’s trying to dream pragmatically.

He closed his letter with humility:

"Take care of yourself and write me when you can."
–Monty

I haven’t seen Monty since we met in October 1989, nearly ten years ago, on a shuttle bus from LAX. We bonded during that brief ride and somehow, despite the years and miles, we’ve maintained the kind of friendship that asks nothing of you but presence.

I reflected on Monty in my journal the other day:

"It’s funny—I haven’t seen the guy since ’89, yet here we are, still writing. It’s fascinating how people move from here to there… That’s what makes the world go round."

He’s thinking of becoming a Canadian citizen. I’m thinking of how rare and beautiful it is to remain in touch with someone you never see. Part of me is excited for him. Part of me aches for that kind of determined optimism.  As Monty looks to Canada and California, I find myself re-rooting in New York. I’ve always believed:

“New York City is singularly the most international metropolis. Yes, there’s Paris. There’s London. But there’s only one New York—and it truly has it all.”

In a world full of shifting currencies, divorces in fast motion, and overpriced Gatsby dancers, maybe that’s what we hold onto: the letters we keep, the cities we return to, the soups that surprise us.

And maybe, just maybe, the people we meet once… but never really lose.

Until next time,
Michael

It is always sad to leave the places where one has dwelt. --Maurice Leblanc, THE SECRET OF SAREK 

 

"Men and women are both human beings.  And as humans, we're by products of our upbringings, victims of our lackluster educational systems, and choosers of our behaviors."== Bonnie Garmus, LESSONS IN CHEMISTRY

I signed up for a one-year subscription to the Financial Times Weekender this week. Maybe it was the crisp September air, or maybe it was the sense that something was shifting—both in the world and in me—but I craved something thoughtful to accompany my mornings. Something with international depth and nuance. The kind of thing I used to flip through in quiet cafés, years ago.

Alan and I met with Helen Settle this week to settle a long-lingering matter. I managed to get her to agree to a $250.00 fee for an hour investment consultation and scheduled her for 9/10. It felt good—productive even. Like old times, when trust and advice traded hands over half-way decent coffee and scribbled notes when I worked at my former Brokerage Firm. 

That night, we finally watched The Very Thought of You, a British romantic film with Joseph Fiennes. It took place mostly in London—a city I will never not love. The story was simple and sweet, and the theater was nearly empty. Well, almost. Alan and I heard a suspicious squeak behind us and instinctively raised our feet off the ground. (Yes, we are still those people.)

The next day, Rosanna Scott stopped by my office, claiming she missed me. She didn’t bring her usual Italian bread this time, but she did bring the Italian Michelin Guide, saying she thought I’d enjoy selecting pages. She’s a lovely woman—sweet, if slightly scattered. We’ve never quite sealed the deal on a working relationship, though the dance continues.  She almost became a nun but then she met her husband, Michael.  He died about ten years ago and I know her from my former brokerage firm, Charles Schwab.  She cannot seem to come up to the plate and realize my fee is worth it--yet. 

Alan and I stopped by Art’s home (Alan's real estate partner) on a spontaneous visit. Todd Stein was there and invited us on a moonlit hike the next night. We didn't go. Sometimes it’s easier to say "next time" and mean it just enough to feel polite.

On the 9th, I spoke with Don Castleman (an accountant I know who was also a client from my former firm) nudging him to persuade Bill Dudley to become a Verana one-time proposal client. Don seemed hesitant. Too much maintenance for what he considered a pittance—$130K (it seems that's all that Bill has to invest right now). That same day, Jose Mercado, my cousin, and I had lunch, and I placed buy orders for Microsoft and MS High Yield (a modest $1000 each) for growth and income for my own personal account. The markets aren’t everything—but I admit, they steady me.

Later that evening, Alan and I went to a home-cooked fish dinner at Susan Freiman’s home. That’s where we heard about Ana Mendel, a “condo cowboy”—an amusing term for older men in Miami who jump from condo to condo, juggling various women, usually in their 70s. I’d never heard it before. New lingo, same games.

Alan and I also talked about Jaan—I've deduced he's a bit on the cheap side, but you can’t win ‘em all. 

On the 10th, I got a haircut from Aeesha. She’s full of stories, especially about her now ex-boyfriend. She told me her Lebanese ex-boyfriend have been sleeping in separate rooms for the past six months. I wasn’t sure if that was a hint she was available or just venting. She’s like Vanessa Williams with hazel eyes. Tempting, but I think I’ll just play the game...and keep my truth to myself. Like Monica once did. Until she didn’t.  These little barbershop confessions are the kind of things I file away—future dialogue for a book, maybe.

The 11th brought Rosh Hashanah, a significant Jewish holiday. We made it to services and then had wine and bites at Susan’s house. Later that day, I saw Head On, a bold gay-themed Greek-Australian film about a young man torn between cultural expectations and suppressed sexuality. It was raw. Honest. And strangely comforting. In the end, it wasn’t about shock—it was about truth. After the film, we biked to the Beverly Center and chatted about Richard’s less-than-glorious finances (Alan's brother).

Then came the 12th of September. A cozy dinner at with Lauren and Mike Roth. That meal! A white leek and onion soup that I swear reset my taste buds. Alan and I were back in New York rhythm, if only briefly. The band lifted the mood. We left feeling lighter.

On the 13th, we returned home. The floor guys were finishing up our hardwoods. Progress. I sat down just to journal, but it turned into a full sprint of memories, finance, films, friendship, and family.

And then came a final surprise: a printed story from my cousin, Mary Ann Gehling, tucked into a folder marked simply “Dear Diary.” It was dated November, 1900.

Her voice flowed across the pages with the grace of a woman born into a quieter century. She wrote of her mother—how she fidgeted with her skirt when reminiscing, how she missed Papa, and how old photographs could suddenly transport an entire family back to childhood insecurities and quiet tenderness.

“Patricia, I’m surprised you still feel this way,” her mother said in the story. “You were a lovely child, and you are a beautiful young woman. Perhaps I should have told you. I’m sorry that I didn’t, Dear.”

There it was.

A century-old echo that felt like it was meant for me, now, here.

We carry so much in silence, don’t we? In glances, in photographs, in unsent letters. But sometimes, across generations, we hear each other. Loud and clear.

Until next time,
Michael

'There's a hunger in you that never ends even when you're full.  You want more.  More music, more talks, more time and sex and most of all more LIFE.'--Zoran Drvenkar, in his book YOU

“Preoccupation with the bowel seems to be the concern of a significant proportion of our population.”   Prior to 7000 B.C., man was nomadic, a hunter-gatherer, existing primarily on a diet of fibrous root vegetables, grains and berries.  A high fiber diet.  This had been his ancestors’ menu for tens of thousands of years.  It was the only diet the human stomach experienced, and that the stomach and intestines were experienced in handling.  Then, man settled down to farming.  Living off the meat of his cattle, and their milk, he shocked the human bowel with a high-fat, lower-fiber diet.  Ever since people have been troubled by irregular bowel function. --PANATI’s Extraordinary Origins of Everyday Things 

I received a postcard this month from my cousin, Sandra Donald.  She wrote: 

Dearest Cousin, 

The heat index has reached 115° — it is HOT in this non-air-conditioned building. I can’t wait till fall comes around so I can keep up with my walking. I have gained some weight that’s difficult to lose. I’ve been praying for my release to come soon. My Brother, Oscar retired, and he says his wife, Elsie, will retire within a few months. 

Thanks for lighting up my life! I couldn’t stop smiling and it felt so good. I called everyone to share. Be sweet, cousin — you are much appreciated! 

Warmest love & prayers, 
From your loving cousin, 
Sandra 

I was also happy to receive a card from Patty Shmaruk (married to Alan's cousin, Ricky) who I had a sweet connection while in New York for Alan’s cousin’s wedding recently.  She sent a photo of me with her and another with her daughter, Jackie.  There was another and I gave that one to Lauren, Alan’s daughter.  The photos were quite sweet to see and relive. She wrote few words, but I especially loved the card titled BOCCA BACIATA which means LIPS THAT HAVE BEEN KISSED.  It depicts a British painting by Dante Gabriel Rossetti.  The original painting is held at the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston.  I’d love to go there one day. 

Hi Michael— 

These are the pictures that I promised to send you. There is one of Jackie & Lauren that Jackie would like you to give her, thanks! 

I hope all is well, and you are having a great summer! Say hello to everyone! Hope to see you soon — looking forward to your e-mail.   

Fondly,

Patty

 

August 31, 1999 
There’s something about a morning workout at the Le Parker Meridien gym that sets the tone — Manhattan, New York was humming outside the windows, your muscles waking to the rhythm of the city.  

Alan and I met up with Annabelle there, and we shared a laugh over recent tenant updates at 66 Leonard. So far, things were going quite well.  Annabelle is the real estate agent for the sale of the condominiums in the building; whereby, we are purchasing this condo.   

Later, we had brunch in the West Village with Paul and Lauren that felt like a scene from a Woody Allen film — charming streets, conversation laced with sarcasm, and a basket of bread that disappeared far too quickly. Lauren shot Paul a look as he reached for the last slice — she was visibly annoyed at his pot belly and even more so at his unapologetic eating habits. It was oddly endearing in its own dysfunctional way.  Paul is her best friend at New York University.  He’s from New York but a bit more upstate—not the city itself. 

The afternoon brought a surprise: we arranged a meeting with Alberto Andrade at the St. Regis Bar — a familiar face from The Golden Door retreat. Over two bottles of Sonoma-Cutrer, conversation flowed as easily as the Chardonnay. Familiarity has a way of loosening time’s grip.  He loves working at the Rennaissance Hotel in Times Square as General Manager. He’s got a great comradery type of personality that works well with guests. 

September 1, 1999 

Photo: Anna Torv, when married to Rupert Murdoch, divorced June 8,1999

Right before our opulent dinner with Jaan Torv (brother of Anna Torv, and Anna is the ex-wife of media mogul, Rupert Murdoch) at The Oceana — a meal that ended with a bill north of $400 (yes, really) — I found myself swept up in an unshakable sense of being “buzzed.” Whether it was from wine, energy, or the city itself, I couldn’t quite tell. 

Jaan is a cool guy but he’s a bit too daring as we experienced in Jamaica when he chartered that mini fisherman’s boat that was too rough of a ride.  He also drinks a bit too much scotch whiskey—not a good thing.  His daughter, Anna Torv (named after his sister), wants to be an actress.  

The following day, we met Annabelle, the realtor for our new condo, at 66 Leonard Street in Tribeca again, where Margaret Cohn also joined (Alan’s personal real estate agent).  She’s a bit bewildering—not sure if I like her much yet.  Time will tell. Margaret invited us later for a drink at the Carlyle Hotel bar — because in New York, no day is truly over until it’s been capped by a cocktail in a place with live piano. 

From there, we met Ann Marie and Elliott Rosenzweig (Alan’s first cousin) for dinner at Trattoria Dell’Arte on 57th and 7th Avenue. They urged us to consider Capri for our upcoming Italy trip — passionate advocates for its charm. But as Alan says, our trips are already “a whole other scene.” We won’t be changing our plans. 

They offered us a taste of Limoncello, direct from Capri — a sweet and powerful liqueur that lingered long after the glass was empty. Ann Marie’s photos and trip might make headlines but trust me — nothing compares to my writings in my journal.  Ha-ha 

September 2, 1999 

I returned to the gym inside the Le Parker Meridien Hotel. The U.S. Open was in full swing, and many players were staying at our hotel—we bumped into a few on the elevator, but we couldn’t identify them as we weren’t in the tennis loop.  

We arranged for Candice (Alan’s stepsister) to join us for breakfast at Norma’s, where the oatmeal and coffee tasted especially good against the backdrop of tennis legends. 

Lunch was with Alan Shmaruk at a place called COSI’s. I may have overdone it with the mayo on my sandwich, but conversation made up for any culinary guilt. 

That evening, we took Lauren and her new beau, Mike Roth, to see the Gipsy Kings at Madison Square Garden. The performance was electric—though far too short. Mike is a refined and striking gentleman. I genuinely hope Lauren sticks with this one. 

September 3, 1999 

Alan and I did our share of walking—Central Park, of course, but also the subway down to Coney Island and onward to Brighton Beach. We explored the Russian Jewish Ghetto, and for a moment, I felt transported to another country. The immersion was unexpected and moving. 

September 4, 1999 
I made it to the gym once more before the night took a fascinating turn. We had dinner with Dan Cuevas at Cipriani in SoHo.  He’s a major designer in West Hollywood, California and like Alberto==we also met him at The Golden Door Spa near San Diego.   Alan, ever the charmer, struck up rapport with the waiter and manager — laying groundwork, perhaps, for future VIP access to the upcoming Cipriani Rainbow Room. 

After dinner, Dan whisked us to SPLASH, the famed gay nightclub, for a 90-minute dance marathon. But the evening wasn’t over.  We didn’t dance.  We just hung out by the bar and watched a bit.  Gay bars are beyond the ‘Alan and Michael’ realm these days, but it was a fun outing—but we had no idea what Dan had in store for us next. 

Dan insisted we check out the GAIETY Theater — a Manhattan legend. He especially wanted to take us because we said we'd never been there not had we heard of it. Alan and I both looked at one another like, “What’s the gaiety?”  Well, it’s a little side-step sliver of a place in the Times Square Theater district. We took a taxi there from the SPLASH bar.  One by one, a parade of young male dancers took the stage, each more sculpted and fearless than the last—they danced and stripped to complete nakedness, some with a full hard-on at the end of their act. A man named Ray left the entire room breathless. RIPPED was an understatement.  That was a jaw dropper—but we couldn’t wait to get OUT.  Afterwards, Dan took us to the back room (a VIP area I suppose) where you could meet the talent so-to-speak.  Dan says you could probably take one of them home for about $300.  It’s a whole other world unbeknownst to us.  I guess one must have a ‘New York state of mind’.  

It’s the feeling — the pulse of the city, the spontaneity of old friends and new faces, and the unapologetic wonder of a life well-lived. New York gave me a thousand little moments in those few days. And I, in return, gave it my attention, my laughter, and this record — page by page.  If you think about something all the time, you come to various conclusions. 

Upon our return to Los Angeles (we had a 5PM flight from JFK, arriving LAX at around 8PM on Sunday, September 5th.   Tomorrow, September 6th is mom’s 64th Birthday. I had five postcards waiting for me from my cousin, Edna, who sent them from Santa Fe, NM:  

Postcard 1 – Taos Pueblo, New Mexico 

Hi Michael! 
Wow, here it is — I thought the summer was moving quickly and I find myself with time to write — Ha-ha.  I don’t know if I mentioned it the last time I wrote, but we hosted three Korean students for three weeks who are on the Korean Connection Six-Week Demonstration team. They spoke about five words of English, and we spoke five words of Korean! 

Postcard 2 – Oldest Church in U.S.A., Santa Fe, New Mexico 

My Michael really likes his class at the SF Community College. 
Teresa is working another temporary stint of work with the State. Rickie is into a Star Wars phase and getting set at school. He just completed a kid’s college course that he enjoyed. 

I just interviewed for a part-time position with the N.M. Appellate Court as a mediator assistant. I figured it is something worth doing that I feel good at — and can get better at. Before the interview I wasn’t sure about it, but it sure sounded interesting. 

Postcard 3 – Palace of the Governors, Santa Fe, New Mexico 

The latest exciting scoop? 

Nancy Garcia from Redoux (Antonia Garcia’s daughter) was surprised by a bear in her house around the 4th of July! She told me she was frightened at first but immediately realized she needed to leap into action because her son was in the shower. I’m sure that was an adrenaline high! 

Postcard 4 – Santuario de Chimayo, Chimayo, New Mexico 

I’ve enjoyed going to Balloon Fiesta in Albuquerque several times. It’s always a must in my planning of annual activities. 
By the way, “The forno” featured in #1 postcard was not a Native American creation, but it was brought into New Mexico by the Moors and the Spanish. 

Postcard 5 – Seventh-day Adventist Seminary, Zaokski, Russia 

Just in case you didn’t know — I learned things when I was a tour guide for El Rancho De Las Golondrinas Living Museum.  

I don’t have to babysit Consuelo today, so I think I’ll start brainstorming about what to do for the day while Rickie is still sleeping. 

By the way — you are my favorite cousin because you take time to keep in touch. That says a lot! 

P.S. Let me know if you are ever free to come up to Santa Fe — maybe we can do the same tour route. 

‘What a distant memory, he thought, and he wondered where it came from, and what it meant that NOW was the moment of its remembering.’--Daniel Mason, in his book THE PIANO TUNER 

Emotions affect our relationships with people, situations and the environment in which we live.  Emotions are the filter between “us” and the “world”. --Andy Puddicombe, in his book MEDITATION AND MINDFULNESS 

My cousin, MaryAnn Montoya-Gehling, were talking recently about short-story writing.  She wrote a historical novel with her husband called MAN IN THE GARDEN OF THE GODS a year or so ago.  It’s about a German immigrant who settles in 18th Century Colorado.  It is set against the stunning backdrop of the Garden of the Gods and explores themes of faith, survival and the pioneering spirit during the American Frontier era.  It recently inspired me to write a short story for her using a photo of MaryAnn (herself) with her doll, Rosemary:  

Innocence Revisited, A Short Story 
by Michael J. Armijo 

I am always drawn back to places where I have lived, the houses and their neighborhoods. For instance, it was the beginning of winter in early November of 1948. There is a cute little white picket fenced house where my friend, MaryAnn, lived. 

The party was over, and MaryAnn wanted complete solitude from her siblings. MaryAnn had stunning dark hair and brown eyes that sparkled. Her smile enhanced her dimples which were in all the “right” places. It was much too chilly to be outside. MaryAnn was content with her new doll, Rosemary. The new doll had the crystal blue eyes that MaryAnn always wanted. MaryAnn found a new friend she could love and confide in. It was the most wonderful birthday gift for any five-year-old girl. 

MaryAnn loved to play “make believe” with her new doll. She would have grown-up conversations with her so-called baby, Rosemary, in the forthcoming weeks. One could never forget the conversation she had this spine-tingling chilly day as she looked out of her winter-fogged kitchen window. 

“Now, now, Rosemary, I am in-charge, and you must do what I say, okay? After all, I change your clothes every day. I take very good care of you, don’t I?” MaryAnn asked, stroking her doll’s hair. MaryAnn assists in having Rosemary nod affirmatively. 

“Look outside now! Do you see how cold and dark it is? Well, it really is not all that cold and ugly you know. It’s just that time of the year, silly. Soon it will be Thanksgiving, and we get to eat turkey with all the sweet potatoes and marshmallows. We have a lot to be thankful for. Sometimes things do appear cold and scary, but you must look deep into your heart to find what is warm. For example, do you see those snowflakes that just fell on Daddy’s truck? It is making a kind of warm, white blanket to keep his truck warm tonight.” 

Rosemary nods thanks to MaryAnn. 

“I want you to know that I will always keep you warm, Rosemary, because I love you. You are my baby. You make me laugh and I make you laugh.” MaryAnn continued. 

Rosemary laughs. 

“You will always be a part of me, Rosemary. And when I leave the house tomorrow with my sister and Daddy, I promise to tell you where we go and what we do. I might even buy you something special. You see, sharing stories and laughing is all part of loving each other. When I grow up, I will always tell you a bedtime story. Wouldn’t you like that? Now you must go to sleep. I promise to wake you tomorrow. If you sleep extra well, you can play with me tomorrow.” MaryAnn laid Rosemary on a large, flower-patterned pillow and closed her eyes, kissing the rosy-cheeked doll goodnight. 

When I look back to having witnessed this conversation, I recall how simple life really can be to a child. I sometimes wish I were a child again. If only adolescents and adults alike remembered those special moments as a child life would be easier. It is time to remind myself and other people to remember so that our quality of life can improve. When I revisit my innocence, I realize the child in me will never be lost. 

August 24, 1999 
Back in L.A. again--but something unsettled me today. I felt a tad distraught—because of my niece, Ashley Armijo.  Her lack of communication has lingered in my thoughts.  I sent her an email I hope she digests—not with anger—but with understanding.  It wasn’t just about silence.  It was about kindness—or the absence of it.  

The thought of my brother, Tony, divorcing Helen lingered.  I re-read an email that Helen had sent me after she told me the news (although I already knew from my mom, providing me with some tidbits of it happening):  

August 25, 1999 

I sent off a Travel International Barbie for my cousin Marie-Antoinette Araya’s granddaughter, Destyne, who just turned three. 

Then I had a farewell lunch with Monica Small at the Cheesecake Factory in Marina del Rey.  She’s off to Missouri with her German-Christian–World Wide Web–kind of husband. Strange pair… but maybe they will work. 

August 26, 1999 
I flew to New York City with Alan and Lauren to help Lauren settle into her new New York University dormitory.  We all had Dinner with Sam and Miriam at Ben’s Deli—a semi-delightful evening.  Sam is Lauren’s maternal grandfather, a Holocaust survivor.  
We also picked up some of Lauren’s stuff from their ‘Silence of the Lambs’ basement. No joke. Spooky storage.  

Speaking of Spooky, while I was on the plane today, flipping through the in-flight magazine, I saw a photo of Alfred Hitchcock—1953, staring out ominously from the edge of an airplane door. And immediately I thought of Paloma.  She loves Alfred Hitchcock films (as do I).  

I wrote her a Note from New York, using the hotel Le Parker Meridien stationery:  

August 25, 1999, Thursday Night 

Dear Paloma,  

I’m here in New York right now, not on vacation but for what some might call “work”—helping Lauren move into her dorm. It’s been a whirlwind, but by Sunday evening we should be all done with that chapter. 

Oh yes—The French Consulate sent me a card about a new film by Patrice Chéreau. I wonder if you’ve seen it? Or if it’s playing out in L.A.? If not, maybe I’ll catch it here while I'm in the city. 

Anyway, I’m tired now, so I’m heading to bed. Lauren’s in the shower, and Alan’s still unpacking. 

I’ll be flying back to L.A. on September 5. Don’t be afraid to e-mail me at armijo59@hotmail.com. 

While on the plane I saw this picture of Hitchcock and thought of you.  I liked how it used this quote by him: “Always make the audience suffer as much as possible.” 
—Alfred Hitchcock 

The article continued with these words as I know you can relate:  

There's no denying that an Alfred Hitchcock thriller—in the most cerebral of ways—sets your nerves aflutter. Slick, stylish, and oh-so-suspenseful, his films simmer just beneath the surface. Known as the “Master of Suspense,” he was also a master of the one-liner. His goal? "To simply scare the hell out of people." 
Mission accomplished. 

With love, 
Michael J. Armijo 

New York City tidbits...

August 27, 1999 

Alan and I had a great workout in at the Parker Meridien gym—part of the new rhythm. We also helped Lauren with a long day of Bed Bath & Beyond shopping. We wrapped the day with a sweet dinner: Alan, Lauren, her friend Jackie, and I at Allegria. A gentle, fulfilling kind of day. 

August 28, 1999 

Dinner round two with Sam and Miriam—this time at a Szechuan restaurant in the Little Neck area.  Little Neck? What a name for a city. 
Lauren moved into her dormitory efficiently, though she wasn’t thrilled about the small size of her dorm room. Thanks to our gym routine, lifting and assembling bunk beds felt like a breeze for Alan and I. 

August 29, 1999 
Alan, Lauren, and I strolled down to Central Park South to visit Alan’s cousin (also named Alan), his wife, Dawn, and their baby son, Benjamin. 

Alan made it to the gym—it’s officially a way of life now. As for me... I needed to break away for a bit. Some quiet. Some air.  So we both wandered off alone together.   We tried seeing The Very Thought of You at the Gotham Theater on the Upper East Side—but just as the film began, we both spotted a mouse scuttling along the aisle.  We bolted out of there and got our money back.  How terrifying for me.  Ugh!  Funny enough, we’d already seen the movie back in Santa Monica.  It’s an introspective story. A reminder:  Even if one’s appearance has changed, the soul stays true.  It was lovely—and sad—at the same time. 

August 30, 1999 
We met Robin Epstein (Alan’s other cousin) at the Chelsea Market.  
We sipped tea at The Big Cup—a known Chelsea gay man’s hangout that Robin knew about—and then walked over to her LOFT Nutrition Consulting office. 
We had dinner later with a very pregnant Allison and her husband Drew (Alan’s other cousin) at The Gotham Bar.  Drew is 30 years old but somehow acts 50. I’m 40 and still feel...not that age.  Give me a break.  Allison’s baby (Avery or Alix) is due in early November 1999. Time moves fast. 

And for a moment, there was not struggle and all was at rest, because time seemed to have arrived at its destination. --Hernan Diaz, in his book TRUST 

“Strange as this story already sounds, we must go still father, very much farther, in the direction of the improbable and the astounding...” --Maurice Leblanc in his book, THE CONFESSIONS OF ARSENE LUPIN 

Gloria sent me a great postcard that I sent her from the GOLDEN DOOR while we were there. It was a postcard of their beautiful garden.  I love a beautiful garden with vegetables. I wish I had one with a built-in gardener to plant the seeds and take active care of it.  Ha-ha 

Gloria wrote: 

8/6/1999 - Hi Sweets, 

Among my treasures I found this postcard that I am returning to remind you of your wonderful week there with Alan.  I lunched at FIG TREE in Venice yesterday with Susan and Mady.  We met Sarah Herschkowitz and Stephanie Kleinman, walking on the boardwalk. 

Much Love, 

Gloria 

8-17 

I did my run & scheduled an appointment with Helen Settle for 8/25 who ended up cancelling—but we finally saw her, and we prepared a $250 one-hour proposal/consult for her. 

I had lunch with my cousin, Jose Mercado & gave him complimentary finance instructions on opening a $2000 account with Waterhouse Securities.  He doesn’t have much money to speak of. 

We had a delightful dinner with Alan, Lauren, Carrie at RJ's Rib Joint in Beverly Hills—Lauren was craving it. 

8-18 
Alan and I went to JONI’s COFFEE SHOP in the Marina—for coffee.  It’s a Marina Del Rey Cronie hangout that we had not visited in some time. 

We did the gym workout & took to a wonderful drive to Malibu for lunch at Geoffrey’s where we met The Tenor & the Real Estate guy from NYC. 

Went to some “dive” on Melrose with Herb Braha to watch Herb’s old chum sing some corny folk-like songs. He was a total reject from the 60’s… “Oh What a Night…” 

8-19-99 
I arranged for Sheri to pick me up at the Oakland Airport & I did my run that morning. 

I met with the Dolgin’s for my $250/hour fee, presenting them with a worthwhile proposal. 
I Introduced them to the QQQ (Nasdaq 100) & the DIA & gave them a few other tips. 

At 7:30pm Alan and I joined Jack & Gloria to see a gay men's drag spoof sequel of Sunset Blvd called Miss Desmond Behind Bars, which really made for a lot of chuckles.  Miss Norma Desmond is one who seemed as though she was going to have 'a snap' at any moment. Anyone could have 'a snap', so always beware.

I received a letter from my cousin and read it before bedtime. The card looked very October with a harvest sort of feel.  

Dearest Cousin Michael, 

Sorry it took me a bit to write, but Bernadette enrolled Desireé into a special school in Colorado Springs.  Can you guess who has to take her 3x a week? She’s such a wonder, my Precious!  She learned her alphabet at 1½ yrs and now I’ve taught her the Lord’s Prayer & she’s learning the Hail Mary. She’s so bright. 

I was so happy to hear from you and all the wonderful events you’re attending. I’m so, so, incredibly proud, Michael—it’s wonderful & I’m so proud to know a cousin like you! 

I’m sending you a souvenir of the Broncos—wear it if you wish or do whatever. Hope you enjoy it! 

I love reading your letters & things. I hope you don’t mind I start work on the 27th & I won’t ignore you, promise. 

Love, 

Marie Antoinette 

8-20-99 
Alan e-mailed me a Happy Anniversary note as did I from my mom’s home in Alameda 
I arrived at mom’s house and I was still able to do my run along Harbor Bay Parkway. Mom was still in Las Vegas but was returning today.  

I discussed Tony & Helen’s divorce with my brother, John, and his wife Sherri via a round table discussion in their dining room.  We concurred with, “You just never know.” 

I picked up mom at the OAKLAND airport after her Vegas trip. She seemed burnt out on being there a whole week.  She was happy to be home and to see me, too.  

8/21 

I managed to do my run today.  Later, I took my niece, Holly, her pal Sabrina & Ashley with two of her own pals to the NSYNC concert in Mountain View! It was exhausting but fun.  I didn’t have 'a snap' incident with them either. They were all such good girls, wanting of a great time.  There was no pressure whatsoever.  I even found a parking space easily. It made me think of that Cyndi Lauper song, GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN.   

8/22 
Once again, I did my run for the day.  I lounged in Alameda with mom for pure Rest & Relaxation. 

August 23, 1999  

I sold my IPO stock, MP3.  I wasn’t in love with it, and I only had 100 shares.  

I wrote a long letter to Paloma.  I was in the mood to reply and write. 

Dear Paloma, 

I was so pleased to get your long letter, plus the cool Club Med book! 

 Now, John F. Kennedy Jr. is just a distant memory. It really made me recall how precious life is — how we must enjoy every day. (Last week’s topic was the disastrous earthquake in Turkey. The horror to be burned alive & not be able to get out. Thank God the U.S. has such strict building codes!) 

You made me laugh about my life — working and running! I work, you know, when I went to the Golden Door in June — that was work because we were networking for new clients. We knew anyone that would pay $5000+ for a week at the Golden Door would/could be a good client for us. We're in touch with several of the people we met, so we may be getting one or two as a client soon. 

I’m glad to hear that you are working (your abdominals!) I still see you with that gorgeous body. I’m sure it hasn’t changed much! I know you will age gracefully. I still eat Brie & Roquefort on dinner menus — but it’s usually expensive.  As for Roquefort — I hadn’t heard that it was going to be in short supply. Thanks for the heads up! 

A cocktail party with nice people is basically “what you make of it.” I could choose to be a snob or be friendly & try to have a good time. That’s pretty much what I do — eat & practice small talk! A cocktail party is usually brief — they get together anyway, so it’s no pressure. Don’t forget rich people are regular people — they take a sh*t — just like the rest of us! And like anyone — you must screen out the ones you like! 

Have you ever been to Israel? Do you & Alex think you may go to Chef De Village or Club Med in Arziv (Achziv) to see Laurent?  That would be fun. I’ve never been to Israel.  I’d love to go one day.  It would be great to go wherever Laurent may be cooking.  It sounds like Bora Bora would be expensive! 

I can’t believe we’ve been writing to each other for 14 years — WOW! Time sure flies, huh? 

The latest news is that my brother Tony may be getting a divorce. He moved to Reno, Nevada — he met a gal named Linda (she’s from New Mexico) that he fell in love with while working in his new office. Do you believe it?! I think she’s about 38 — he's 47. I feel sorry for my niece Lauren & Leigh. They moved to Reno, NV. They bought a new home. Tony & Helen transferred to new jobs there & now this.  Oh well — again. We’ll see what happens. 
 

Absolutely NOT! You cannot read my journal, Paloma. I don’t want you to read all my intimate thoughts & fantasies about you! Just keep looking through all my old + new letters, ha-ha. You have such a good memory (yes, I was very serious about that girl named Kelly — back in 1989). She read my journal & about me + George Jones. I think I was 25 or so — George was 20. We had an affair. Of course, that blend of our relationship (me + Kelly) — who knows what could’ve been? I was seriously thinking of getting married to her. I guess it wasn’t meant to be. 

I think Alan glances at my journal now + again. I’d prefer that he not read it — but I let him get away with it. Sometimes it helps our relationship because I can communicate in writing the things that irritate me about him.  

Alfred Hitchcock is great. Did you know they came out with a U.S. postage stamp of him? Have I sent it to you? If not, let me know. I’ll send it to you. 

My grandma Matilde Vigil Armijo de Garcia would have been 100 in 1998. I never realized she & Alfred Hitchcock were peers (the same age) until you told me. 

If I find a way to get that Peruvian film, No Se Lo Digas a Nadie (Don't Tell Anyone) for you — I will.

The movie is about this good-looking guy who is gay & yet, he’s madly in love with this girl at the same time! In the end, he’s going to get married to the girl — but you can see he’s still got an attraction for this one guy.

There’s a lot more to the story, but I can’t give it all away. It starts when the good-looking guy is only 6 or 7 years old at a summer camp. He grows up to his late 20s.

The entire film is just an excerpt of his life. I really loved it. I could so relate to it.

Oh — in answer to your question — Alan does NOT read your letters, but sometimes I read excerpts of your letters to him. 

The old Polanski movie, What? has caught my interest now. Have you checked under www.reel.com or amazon.com to see if they have the video? Sitcom was terrible. The Dinner Game was “OK” — you’re right. Now that I think back, it wasn’t that great. I’ve never seen or heard of Gazon Maudit or Pédale Douce here in the U.S. — They sound good. 

If you’re serious about a job at the French Consulate — I can give you her name + address. Do you think you + Alexandre + Jonathan would move? Maybe you can even send an email of interest + salary requirements. You should go to www.jobs.com or www.futurestep.com. I’m sure there are plenty of jobs in the U.S. looking for people that are tri-lingual in French, Spanish & English. You still do a great job writing me in English. You are excellent!! 

There were no non-stop flights from L.A. to Rome — so we must do one stop in Paris — then on to Rome on 10-10-99. Virgin Air is great & cheap for flying between European countries. On 10-19 we will reach Milan by car & take a Virgin flight to Madrid because it’s so cheap to fly on Virgin from Milan to MADRID. I’ll let you know where we stay in Italy. Thanks for the info on The Palace in Madrid. It’s nice to know it’s one of the best. Maybe you should go visit your dad between 10/20–10/24 — in Colmenarejo, Spain & then come to Madrid to have dinner with us — ha-ha — I know it’s easier said than done, right? Alan took his mom to Madrid for her 70th birthday just because she hadn’t been there since the 1950s or 60s — This was 3 years ago. So that’s the scoop. Alan is not Spanish. He is Jewish with family heritage from Russia as I understand it. 

My other brother John lives about a block away from my mom in Alameda (30 min from San Francisco). You remember Alameda, right? 

One of my clients named Monica Webb subtitles films in various languages including French.  I remember the time you got out of the car to save that parking space... What a bitch that lady was — trying to run you down. You were one tough cookie then, huh? What happened? Just kidding. 

I didn’t know the main actors in MASH* — the man + woman — were a real couple in real life. That’s good gossip. There were parts of the movie that I thought were very good. It was different, that’s for sure. 

I have never heard of Emma De Caunes — I’ll keep my eye out for her.  I bet she’s HOT. I must say — I agree with your heartthrob Jeff Bridges — Arlington Road and The Muse — You’re right — Against All Odds + Red Wine & UB40 will always be our movie + song.  On my 40th Birthday we danced to RED RED WINE in the pool— we had a trio Jamaican band playing live by our pool after dinner. They played it unexpectedly.   

We leave for N.Y. this Thursday, 8/26 — We’ll be sure to enjoy it as much as possible. 

Regards to Alexandre, Jonathan & ALL those close to you — 
Love, 
Michael J. Armijo 

A “snap” is certainly not a medical term.  It can happen in a split-second, the result of a terribly traumatic event.  Or it can be the final straw, the sad culmination of pressure that builds and builds until the mind and body must find a release. --John Grisham, THE LITIGATORS 

“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.  “It is a terrible fight between two wolves.  One is EVIL—he is hatred, anger, greed, envy, arrogance, grudge, resentment, miserliness, and cowardliness.  The other is GOOD—he is happiness, joy, serenity, love, kindness, compassion, hope, humility, generosity, truthfulness and confidence.  They are also fighting inside you and inside every other person, too.” --An Old Cherokee Giving Advice to His Grandson, as read in ALTRUISM by Matthieu Ricard 

Here are some flashbacks from July 1999 that I neglected to mention: 

I received this email from my cousin, MaryAnn Montoya-Gehling (July 17, 1999), here are the key points.  
A letter I’ve read several times now. MaryAnn wrote to me at 2:29am. It was raw, honest. A reflection about confusing me with her deceased brother, Dave, and never really accepting me as me. She wrote: 

“You are Michael and Dave is dead. I have to face that… 
And so, Michael Joe Armijo, I am giving you something priceless. I am taking Dave away and giving you back yourself.” 

The words hurt. But they also healed. There’s freedom in being seen clearly. 

I received another email from my Cousin Paul Vigil who lives in Arizona (July 18, 1999): 
A different kind of message. Kind, familial. 

“I wanted to let you know how much fun my family and I had [at the reunion] … Keep me posted on the next one.” 
Simple, sweet, grounding. Sometimes connection just lives in shared bloodlines and old jokes. 

On July 28th, Alan and I attended a unique musical called WHEN PIGS FLY.  Seeing it in Los Angeles, just a few years after its New York debut—meant you witnessed a piece of theatre that blended activism, art, and outrageous humor.  It was more than a musical revue; it was a glittery statement of self-worth and a standing ovation to the underdog spirit. 

WHEN PIGS FLY was a celebration of queer identity and camp glamour.  This revue is deeply rooted in LGBTQ+ culture, brimming with flamboyance, sequins, drag, satire, and wit.  The title itself is a playful jab at the idea that someone like Howard Crabtree—a gay man with dreams of outrageous theatrical success—could “make it” in mainstream entertainment.  It’s a defiant celebration of not just making it--but doing so with sparkle and laughter.  

Rather than a single plot, it’s a revue composed of skits, songs, and outrageous numbers. Each segment pokes fun at cultural expectations, gay stereotypes, self-doubt, and the longing for acceptance and fabulousness.  I liked the song “Laughing Matters” – A poignant, introspective ballad reminding us that laughter can be a form of survival. 

I’ve been doing my best to stay consistent—physically, emotionally, spiritually. This week felt like a collage of movement and memory. Like a postcard half-written in my mind, waiting to be mailed to a future version of myself. 

8/10/99 – THE SIXTH SENSE & the Gym of Life 

Alan and I made it to the gym. Discipline and routine feels good lately—we’ve been on a mission to stay active and strong. On this night, we saw The Sixth Sense. Mysterious, haunting, and cleverly told, it stayed with us. I won’t ruin the twist, but let’s just say... we didn’t see it coming. 

8/11/99 – A Call from the Past 
Helen Settle, a former client, called. She misses me and says she needs me again. Will she become a Verona client? Time will tell. Alan and I did both a run and a hike today. That evening, we dined with Gloria and Jack at Pane Vino in West Hollywood. Gloria is always a riot—her laughter is medicine. 

8/12/99 – The Layers Underneath 
I journaled today, more intentionally than usual. Alan and I had dinner at Susan’s with Mady, who’s still visiting from New York. She’s full of insight and energy. Earlier in the day, Alan and I talked over coffee in Marina del Rey—he noticed the Tom Cruise magazine clipping in my journal and smirked, “I like that picture.” I don’t care for Tom much.  Maybe I’m just jealous because Alan likes him.  I just think his entire Church of Scientology obsession is absurd.  

I’ve been committed to my ABS daily and cardio routine. We’re both feeling and looking better. Small wins matter. 

8/13/99 – A Hike, A Movie, A Frame 

Alan and I started the day with a beach run. Later, we hiked with Susan and Mady through Temescal Canyon. That afternoon, we grabbed lunch at The Ivy—always a hotspot for potential Verona clients. I picked up two newly framed collage pieces from Aaron Brothers—my 20th Century Men and 20th Century Women series. I love how they turned out. The 20th Century Men version includes a photo of 'me' and of 'Alan'.  

That night, Alan and I cozied up with The Jackal. Another thriller. Another plot worth unwinding. 

8/14/99 – Cleaning House, Literally 
It was a Saturday of purposeful routines: we hit the gym, then visited the Pacific Design Center as per Dan Cuevas’s advice. Ho-hum, but productive. We started an “operation cleanup” on the downstairs of our Marina del Rey house. Not just spring cleaning—autumn cleaning is a thing now. 

That night’s feature: The Thomas Crown Affair. Pierce Brosnan. René Russo. And yes, people still occasionally say I resemble Brosnan. I don’t mind. The film was stylish and smart—art heist meets sexual tension. The kind of movie that’s both polished and seductive. 

8/15/99 – What Breaks & What Holds 
My morning run was a success. My mom left for Vegas with her sisters and brothers—Betty, Raymond, Arthur—all off to the neon pulse of sin city. 

I received news that my sister-in-law, Helen, in Reno may be heading toward divorce. My brother, Tony, wants out after falling head over heels with a divorcee in his office named Linda. I felt a pang of sadness—for Helen, for the end of something. I called her immediately, left a message. Some endings still feel personal even when you’re not involved. 

That night, Alan and I didn’t attend the birthday party for Alan’s cousin in NYC—but we made it up to him with dinner at one of the best restaurants in the city: The Gotham Bar & Grill. Sometimes love is shown by being present, even if not on the original date. 

8/16/99 – Floors, Postcards, and REITs 

A German man known as “Reinhardt the Floorman” arrived at 8am to assess our hardwood floors. We’re considering re-sanding.

Meanwhile, a postcard arrived from Barbara Reynolds—musicians in illustrated glory. Her message was gentle, filled with news of transition. She wrote: 

"I think I’ll be gone for the weekend… I need some beach time.” 

We all do. 

Also today, I began drafting a REIT/Bond/Passive Income plan for myself and my clients. The kind of plan that might hold steady even as emotions fluctuate. 

‘He raised her hand to his mouth and kissed her fingers one by one, which always gave her the chills.’--Charles Baxter, in his book THERE’S SOMETHING I WANT YOU TO DO