August 2021: on Awareness
I saw my first bright yellow school bus this week. I saw the first sunflower, standing out against a field of green. We’re still weeks and weeks away from the first day of Autumn, I’ve noticed the sun is setting just a little earlier each evening....
We're in the season for transitions and new beginnings.
On Wednesday evening, I wrapped a very full day of writing and coaching wonderful people, poured a glass of Rose, and wandered outside with my book. The sun was shining, a soft breeze was blowing and I was overwhelmed with gratitude.
For most of my life, I believed that in order for life to be interesting , then that meant life had to be more downs than ups and fill with all kinds of angst (and other such nonsense). That we had to rush around to prove our worth and relaxing was for those "privileged people".
Well, baby, I'm here to tell you that though life is a glorious adventure, living a daily life you love includes lots of peaceful moment. That, at the end of the day, I don't have to rush around like a crazy person - I can actually relax and enjoy my home, a good book and an excellent glass of wine - sans drama.
I can't tell your how incredible that feels to a once-upon-a-time drama queen. Or, how contrary that is to what I was taught growing up.
I'm living proof that we don't have to follow in path of what we grew up believing. We get to choose our path and alter it to be experience in a way that feels loving and nourishing.
But I mentioned that all around us are signs of shifts. Even for folks who don’t have kids, August is one of those transitional months where we get that “back to school” energy.
It’s a restart, the edges of the fall, the longing to complete a 2021 goal, and looking to the new year.
Though the new year doesn't arrive for four and a half more months, we've shifted into Next Year Thinking at our house.
JB's work uses a fiscal year calendar that begins October 1st, and their class - and travel - schedules are beginning to emerge. (Though, of course, we don't know about the travel portion).
So during my morning porch time, when I sit with my coffee and journal, I'm pondering what's on the horizon while savoring the goodness in my present.
It’s also when I begin not just my personal planning and household planning around his work commitments, I’m pondering what business goals I want to set…and frankly, what areas of my business need to shift. And what needs to change about ME so that I can better tend all the areas of my life?
Here's what I'm pondering lately:
--Is the blog still a good use of my time? Do people even read blogs in 2021?
--Is it time to rework my coaching packages? Though I have always loved working long term with clients which allows us to go deeper and deeper into their desires and growth, I would be lying if I didn’t admit how much I love doing strategy sessions with folks. You know, where someone presents a problem or challenge and we brainstorm all the ways to address it. And then create a plan. That’s super fun – and useful.
--I’m thinking a lot about my creative time. Is it time to finally finish that book that’s 90% complete so I can release it into the world? Or should I create – or revamp – some of my courses and breath new life into them?
--Social media is often on my mind when it comes to my professional life….as a coach and writer, is social media a good use of my time? Or is it all just noise anymore?
--And while we're thinking about social media, I'm wondering if it's good for me when it comes to my own mental health...
--How can I better tend my home without using it as an excuse not to write?
--What have I always wanted to do but held back from? Where are my own excuses getting in the way of loving myself and my life more?
--And, frankly, I’m thinking a lot about the future. Though I’m looking at the last four months or 2021 and ahead to 2022…I am also imagining a life where JB is retired and I am finding a balance of enjoying my time with him and doing a little work…
I share all the things I'm pondering because we're friends here. And pulling back the curtain on my process invites you to begin thinking about yourself and your life. Because while this can seem like minutia and a bit of naval gazing, it's about being open to possibility and digging into what I desire for the big picture of my life as well as the rhythm of my daily life.
All of this thinking and pondering is really about awareness.
When it comes to living a life you love, one of the first pieces of advice I give is to dive into your own self-awareness. Yes, even though it not always easy to look in the mirror and see who we are, warts and all. You may be asking why awareness, then, is worth the trouble. That’s because without awareness, you are cutting yourself off from the very tools you need to, not just pursue your desires, but enhance the quality of your everyday experiences
Self-awareness is the ability to observe ourselves – why we react and how we behave – and not only accept what we discover, but make informed decisions about the changes we want to make.
Awareness is also the ability to be honest with ourselves about our weaknesses and strengths, as well as our thoughts, motivations, and emotions.
Awareness often done through a personal inquiry process: asking yourself good questions and getting nakedly and brutally honest about your real answers. And trust me, even if you're not much of a journal keeper, it is so helpful to do this on paper. To ask yourself good questions, record your answers, and then ask yourself "Why?" and "And what would that give you?" several times until you get to your deeper truth.
Because you don’t know what you don’t know, even about yourself. This is something that I believe is critical work - especially right now.
Because even if you've done a ton of personal growth work in the past, not one of us is the same person we were before March 2020. It's just not possible to experience - or witness - so much chaos and worry and stress without it changing you.
The beauty of awareness is that it allows us to make better choices and curate a lifestyle that makes us feel engaged and alive.
Remember when we talked in June about idleness? From the outside, awareness can look an awful lot like idleness. And making the decision to dig in means that you may look idle on the outside....and your actual productivity for getting things done - such as laundry, errands, chores, and work that produces something tangible - is going to languish.
For me, personally, this means that less consumable content can be created because all my energy is going towards digging in. Because when you are asking yourself the harder questions around what you need and desire? All that brain work takes energy, time, and bandwidth.
As a still-reforming perfectionist, I often get into my head the idea that I should be able to do EVERYTHING. I am wired as a "J", which means I tend to see a lot of black and white in the world as my norm. It's sometimes hard to remember that I can't always BE and DO everything. To leave behind the idea that I should be able to do more work in a single day - coach more people, get more words on a page, not need quiet, not need company, and certainly never battle resistance.
So, darling, when you're choosing to live in the question and go deeper for your answers, be patient with the lack of exterior results. Because it's frustrating to reach the end of a day - or week - when you've done so much exhausting, inner work....but have nothing "productive" to show for it.
This is why I’m often asked if self-awareness is worth the trouble. Because there’s the shadow side of it.
This shadow side can make us angry or sad at our past choices, and can send us spiraling down the rabbit hole of the so-called “bad” emotions. And how can I forget the Inner Critic’s ability to become oh so judgmental when we play with being more aware of ourselves as our ally.
Let’s be honest, sometimes too much self-awareness can be downright exhausting. And no one enjoys digging into painful, old wounds and stories.
Yet, awareness, while sometimes a bit painful, is actually quite freeing. If we can pair the awareness with kindness towards ourselves, it gives us a great opportunity to step into our own greatness. To allow what could be seen as flaws or cracks in our perfect facades to burst open so that the light from our souls can shine.
Even when we deal with the painful side of awareness, it invites us to dream and go more deeply into our desires and wishes. Because, as my old pal Cinderella would say "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes".
It's the most beautiful part of my work as a coach. To finally understand that when we step into our own awareness that life only gets sweeter. That we aren't made to be perfect. That our cracks don't indicate brokenness, but the ways in which we've been touched by the world and our existence in it.
Awareness is always worth the trouble. That’s because, without taking the time to observe how we feel about what we’re doing, seeing, or experiencing, it’s impossible to feel fully engaged. Or, as I have to remind myself regularly: when you plant new seeds, the first thing to come up is dirt. Yet, before anything can bloom, working through the dirt is necessary.
If you'd like to read the August 2021 love note in full, you can do so here.
And, if you'd like to receive my Monthly Love Note, sign up here. You'll also receive my BRAND NEW free E-Book - Create a Life You Love:
Standards Help Curate Delightful Days
That’s my wish and hope for you this month. That you find loving, gentle ways to deepen your own self-awareness. To dig more deeply into what you desire, what you need, and how you can make it happen.
For when you do, you're sure to recognize it as an opportunity to look around you and really love yourself and your life even more.
We're in the season for transitions and new beginnings.
On Wednesday evening, I wrapped a very full day of writing and coaching wonderful people, poured a glass of Rose, and wandered outside with my book. The sun was shining, a soft breeze was blowing and I was overwhelmed with gratitude.
For most of my life, I believed that in order for life to be interesting , then that meant life had to be more downs than ups and fill with all kinds of angst (and other such nonsense). That we had to rush around to prove our worth and relaxing was for those "privileged people".
Well, baby, I'm here to tell you that though life is a glorious adventure, living a daily life you love includes lots of peaceful moment. That, at the end of the day, I don't have to rush around like a crazy person - I can actually relax and enjoy my home, a good book and an excellent glass of wine - sans drama.
I can't tell your how incredible that feels to a once-upon-a-time drama queen. Or, how contrary that is to what I was taught growing up.
I'm living proof that we don't have to follow in path of what we grew up believing. We get to choose our path and alter it to be experience in a way that feels loving and nourishing.
But I mentioned that all around us are signs of shifts. Even for folks who don’t have kids, August is one of those transitional months where we get that “back to school” energy.
It’s a restart, the edges of the fall, the longing to complete a 2021 goal, and looking to the new year.
Though the new year doesn't arrive for four and a half more months, we've shifted into Next Year Thinking at our house.
JB's work uses a fiscal year calendar that begins October 1st, and their class - and travel - schedules are beginning to emerge. (Though, of course, we don't know about the travel portion).
So during my morning porch time, when I sit with my coffee and journal, I'm pondering what's on the horizon while savoring the goodness in my present.
It’s also when I begin not just my personal planning and household planning around his work commitments, I’m pondering what business goals I want to set…and frankly, what areas of my business need to shift. And what needs to change about ME so that I can better tend all the areas of my life?
Here's what I'm pondering lately:
--Is the blog still a good use of my time? Do people even read blogs in 2021?
--Is it time to rework my coaching packages? Though I have always loved working long term with clients which allows us to go deeper and deeper into their desires and growth, I would be lying if I didn’t admit how much I love doing strategy sessions with folks. You know, where someone presents a problem or challenge and we brainstorm all the ways to address it. And then create a plan. That’s super fun – and useful.
--I’m thinking a lot about my creative time. Is it time to finally finish that book that’s 90% complete so I can release it into the world? Or should I create – or revamp – some of my courses and breath new life into them?
--Social media is often on my mind when it comes to my professional life….as a coach and writer, is social media a good use of my time? Or is it all just noise anymore?
--And while we're thinking about social media, I'm wondering if it's good for me when it comes to my own mental health...
--How can I better tend my home without using it as an excuse not to write?
--What have I always wanted to do but held back from? Where are my own excuses getting in the way of loving myself and my life more?
--And, frankly, I’m thinking a lot about the future. Though I’m looking at the last four months or 2021 and ahead to 2022…I am also imagining a life where JB is retired and I am finding a balance of enjoying my time with him and doing a little work…
I share all the things I'm pondering because we're friends here. And pulling back the curtain on my process invites you to begin thinking about yourself and your life. Because while this can seem like minutia and a bit of naval gazing, it's about being open to possibility and digging into what I desire for the big picture of my life as well as the rhythm of my daily life.
All of this thinking and pondering is really about awareness.
When it comes to living a life you love, one of the first pieces of advice I give is to dive into your own self-awareness. Yes, even though it not always easy to look in the mirror and see who we are, warts and all. You may be asking why awareness, then, is worth the trouble. That’s because without awareness, you are cutting yourself off from the very tools you need to, not just pursue your desires, but enhance the quality of your everyday experiences
Self-awareness is the ability to observe ourselves – why we react and how we behave – and not only accept what we discover, but make informed decisions about the changes we want to make.
Awareness is also the ability to be honest with ourselves about our weaknesses and strengths, as well as our thoughts, motivations, and emotions.
Awareness often done through a personal inquiry process: asking yourself good questions and getting nakedly and brutally honest about your real answers. And trust me, even if you're not much of a journal keeper, it is so helpful to do this on paper. To ask yourself good questions, record your answers, and then ask yourself "Why?" and "And what would that give you?" several times until you get to your deeper truth.
Because you don’t know what you don’t know, even about yourself. This is something that I believe is critical work - especially right now.
Because even if you've done a ton of personal growth work in the past, not one of us is the same person we were before March 2020. It's just not possible to experience - or witness - so much chaos and worry and stress without it changing you.
The beauty of awareness is that it allows us to make better choices and curate a lifestyle that makes us feel engaged and alive.
Remember when we talked in June about idleness? From the outside, awareness can look an awful lot like idleness. And making the decision to dig in means that you may look idle on the outside....and your actual productivity for getting things done - such as laundry, errands, chores, and work that produces something tangible - is going to languish.
For me, personally, this means that less consumable content can be created because all my energy is going towards digging in. Because when you are asking yourself the harder questions around what you need and desire? All that brain work takes energy, time, and bandwidth.
As a still-reforming perfectionist, I often get into my head the idea that I should be able to do EVERYTHING. I am wired as a "J", which means I tend to see a lot of black and white in the world as my norm. It's sometimes hard to remember that I can't always BE and DO everything. To leave behind the idea that I should be able to do more work in a single day - coach more people, get more words on a page, not need quiet, not need company, and certainly never battle resistance.
So, darling, when you're choosing to live in the question and go deeper for your answers, be patient with the lack of exterior results. Because it's frustrating to reach the end of a day - or week - when you've done so much exhausting, inner work....but have nothing "productive" to show for it.
This is why I’m often asked if self-awareness is worth the trouble. Because there’s the shadow side of it.
This shadow side can make us angry or sad at our past choices, and can send us spiraling down the rabbit hole of the so-called “bad” emotions. And how can I forget the Inner Critic’s ability to become oh so judgmental when we play with being more aware of ourselves as our ally.
Let’s be honest, sometimes too much self-awareness can be downright exhausting. And no one enjoys digging into painful, old wounds and stories.
Yet, awareness, while sometimes a bit painful, is actually quite freeing. If we can pair the awareness with kindness towards ourselves, it gives us a great opportunity to step into our own greatness. To allow what could be seen as flaws or cracks in our perfect facades to burst open so that the light from our souls can shine.
Even when we deal with the painful side of awareness, it invites us to dream and go more deeply into our desires and wishes. Because, as my old pal Cinderella would say "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes".
It's the most beautiful part of my work as a coach. To finally understand that when we step into our own awareness that life only gets sweeter. That we aren't made to be perfect. That our cracks don't indicate brokenness, but the ways in which we've been touched by the world and our existence in it.
Awareness is always worth the trouble. That’s because, without taking the time to observe how we feel about what we’re doing, seeing, or experiencing, it’s impossible to feel fully engaged. Or, as I have to remind myself regularly: when you plant new seeds, the first thing to come up is dirt. Yet, before anything can bloom, working through the dirt is necessary.
If you'd like to read the August 2021 love note in full, you can do so here.
And, if you'd like to receive my Monthly Love Note, sign up here. You'll also receive my BRAND NEW free E-Book - Create a Life You Love:
Standards Help Curate Delightful Days
That’s my wish and hope for you this month. That you find loving, gentle ways to deepen your own self-awareness. To dig more deeply into what you desire, what you need, and how you can make it happen.
For when you do, you're sure to recognize it as an opportunity to look around you and really love yourself and your life even more.
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