Chuck Norris Quotes

“Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth.”
― Chuck Norris

“Lily asked Calvin to play dolls with her. He reluctantly joined her on the floor, but it soon became Chuck Norris meets Joy doll and she was going down repeatedly. Lily, scandalized, pouted, but began to retaliate. "Oh no you don't, Chuck! I'm Piper, psycho Barbie!”
― Shelly Crane, Revolution

“Stalone: "I heard another rumor that you were bitten by a king cobra."
Chuck Norris: "Yeah. But after five days of agonizing pain, the cobra died.”
― Silvester Stalone

“Uschi Glas ist der Chuck Norris des Spießbürgers”
― Christian Ritter, Geschlechtsverkehr: Eine Einführung

“Write like you got Chuck Norris after ya'!”
― Ren Garcia

“Superman once challenged Chuck Norris to a fight, the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside.”
― Oliver Oliver Reed, 155 World's Funniest Chuck Norris Jokes And Facts: The Best And Funniest Kick-ass Facts About Roughest, Toughest, Deadliest, Sexiest & The Most Fearless ... The Legend

“Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse kick you in the face.”
― Oliver Oliver Reed

“Chuck Norris can divide by zero.”
― Oliver Oliver Reed

“When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.”
― Oliver Oliver Reed

“Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.”
― Oliver Oliver Reed

“Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.”
― Oliver Oliver Reed

“Chuck Norris CAN understand women.”
― Oliver Oliver Reed, 155 World's Funniest Chuck Norris Jokes And Facts: The Best And Funniest Kick-ass Facts About Roughest, Toughest, Deadliest, Sexiest & The Most Fearless ... The Legend

“For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.”
― Oliver Oliver Reed