Inner Turmoil Quotes

“The bang of the modernist metal doorknocker exploded in the room. Jolting upright on the edge of the couch, Isa froze, her heart beating a discordance of dread. Her mind went blank as she stared
at the door. No.”
― Margarita Barresi, A Delicate Marriage

“Enraged, Marco paced back and forth, gripping the newspaper in his fist. What do these animals hope to accomplish with senseless violence? We have enough suffering on this island. Do we have to kill each other, too?”
― Margarita Barresi, A Delicate Marriage

“I had to get out of there for my face showed too much, the war in my body was dragging me down. My feet refused to carry me over to him again. The wind of my life was blowing me away.”
― James Baldwin, Giovanni’s Room

“Anywhere is dangerous if you carry danger with you.”
― Iris Murdoch, The Message to the Planet

“You drive me back down my desperation—that unclouded incurable never forgotten evil growing inside my life.”
― Sophocles, Electra

“Junie says that the worst thing about shame is the way it chains you down. The way it holds your mind hostage and won’t let you go, gnawing from the inside out, feeding on you like a parasite.”
― Rasmenia Massoud, You Don't See Any of This

“I find it simpler to envision shedding tears over a matter than picturing myself genuinely prepared for change. Understanding my emotions proves intricate. It commences with a yearning to refine my thought processes, a longing to evolve into a superior version of myself, and an acknowledgment of the knowledge and superiority of others beyond my current perception. On rare occasions, this contemplation lingers within me, day after day, gradually evolving from a fleeting thought into an intrinsic facet of my identity. The aforementioned notion holds promise for instigating positive change within me, yet it often necessitates a significant passage of time before I yearn for it, and the resultant impact is distressing. I come to terms with the notion that my heart is astray, preyed upon by untamed beasts. I can anticipate your reassurance: "Don't worry, no one is perfect." Nonetheless, I acknowledge that I stand just a notch above the beasts and several steps below the angels.”
― Rolf van der Wind

“There is no one to speak to about my headache and stomachache when I leave my bedroom and encounter this beautiful prison that my parents have built, when I see pictures of me on the walls and side tables that bear no resemblance to the me they cannot see. Sometimes I stare at the family that owns me and I wish I were a different person, with white skin and the ability to tell my mother and my father, especially my father, to fuck off without consequence, and sometimes I stare at the white cards of the Bible verses Reverend Olumide has gifted me and think that there is still a chance to change my ways.”
― Uzodinma Iweala, Speak No Evil

“There are violent things in my heart. Perhaps they have been festering there ever since that change. And now I have run in here to find some different pain, some mystery of myself to keep secret, something which, for this short time, is absolutely not Jack.”
― Iris Murdoch, The Message to the Planet

“He was conscious of his body as a heavy cold horrible container. He had the feeling, coming to him as the memory of a dream, of being a prisoner waiting to be tortured. The extremity of pain was yet to come. And even now he was denied to comfort of self-pitying misery and warm tears.”
― Iris Murdoch, The Message to the Planet

“He thought, this is hell, not being able to live with oneself.”
― Iris Murdoch, The Message to the Planet

“Mary thought suddenly, this is an abomination, sitting here and having this conventional conversation when I feel so desperate and deprived and torn inside. She thought, is there nothing I can do about it?”
― Iris Murdoch, The Nice and the Good

“Some inner organ would give way, her heart would literally break, if she did not see him soon.”
― Iris Murdoch, The Nice and the Good

“But her heart was hurting her with its violence.”
― Iris Murdoch, The Nice and the Good

“There was something about her playing ... a knowledge of darkness in the most extreme form.” He frowned. “But it’s quite common, isn’t it? What you tend to find in the personal lives of brilliant men is devastation akin to a nuclear bomb going off. Marriages mangled. Wives left for dead. Children growing up as deformed prisoners of war—all of them walking around with holes where their hearts should be, wondering where they belong, what side they’re fighting for. Extreme wealth, like the kind Cordova married into, only magnifies the size and scope of the fallout.”
― Marisha Pessl, Night Film

“Nature is the antidote for the chaos inside of us.”
― Michael Bassey Johnson, Night of a Thousand Thoughts

“The root of their conflicts lies in their struggle to cope with the inner turmoil and desolation of their souls.”
― William Castano-Bedoya, We the Other People: The Beggars of the Mercury Lights

“A year of peaceful days he had stayed with me, and still every night he went to war.”
― Madeline Miller, Circe

“I fake being normal better than most normal people fake being sane.”
― Jonathan Harnisch, Sex, Drugs, and Schizophrenia

“She hadn’t felt any emotion until he touched her, but then she found herself blinking back the tears and forcing herself to say, “It’s okay.” And it was. In a way. She could hardly remember it, but the flashes that stayed with her through the years were painful.”
― Kayla Krantz, Acid Rain

“I carry my body
in and around
many rooms,
most of them
much quieter
than this nervous
chatter within.

- A Thousand Empty Rooms”
― Jonathan Simons, Songs of Waking: Poems

“My most violent fantasies were born in that room: gruesome acts I suspected I'd never be able to stomach even if the opportunity arose- thoughts which belonged to the monster growing inside me.”
― Duncan Ralston, Where the Monsters Live

“One could see that he was fearfully bored, but that he was valiantly keeping up the part of the man perfectly happy and enjoying himself.”
― Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Christmas Tree and the Wedding

“They'll probably say I'm crazy or even mad, and maybe they're right—I should have kept my distance. There were so many things I wanted to say, truths I wanted to share, but I knew they would only cause pain. So instead, I buried those thoughts deep inside and let the pain consume me. No matter how much I tried to explain, it wouldn't have made a difference. I couldn't even understand the turmoil within myself, so how could I possibly make them understand? As time passes, I find myself growing weaker, but with that weakness comes a strange relief. The less I remember, the less I can be hurt. The fading memories bring a certain numbness, and with it, the suffering begins to fade too.”
― Rolf van der Wind

“کاش میرے لئے بھی کوئی تھک جائے ، چور ہو جائے . اس قدر مجبور ہو جائے کہ اگر اس کی جیب میں ایک پیسہ بھی نہ ہو تو چلتے چلتے کسی بھاڑی سے ایک پھول ہی توڑ کر میرے لئے لے آئے ۔”
― KRISHAN CHANDAR, AIK AURAT HAZAR DIWANE by KRISHAN CHANDAR ایک عورت ہزار دیوانے

“کیا میں نے تو تیری تصویر کے ذریعہ مجھ سے بہت کچھ کہا ہے لاچی ، پھر تو سنتی کیوں نہیں ، کیا تو صرف اس میں اپنی شخصیت دیکھتی ہے اپنی صورت کا عکس، اپنے من کے خدو خال ، لیکن میری روح کا جمال مجھ سے کیوں پوشیدہ ہے۔ یہ میرے ترسے ہوئے برش کے رنگ انھوں نے تیری تصویر میں کتنی نادیدہ جسرتوں کے رنگ برنگے گلزا کھلا دیتے ہیں۔ اری تو کیسی لڑکی ہے ؟
میرے دل کا لہو بھی نہیں دیکھ سکتی ؟
اب میں تجھ سے کیا کہوں ؟
خوب چند خاموش نگاہوں سے لاچی کی تصویر کی طرف دیکھتا رہا اور کچھ نہ بولا. اس نے لاچی کے کسی سوال کا جواب نہ دیا۔
اس کے منہ سے ایک آہ تک نہ نکلی ۔ اس کی آنکھوں میں ایک آنسو تک نہ آیا ۔ بس وہ خاموشی سے مٹھیاں بھینچے ہختی سے ہونٹ بند کئے تصویر کے سامنے چپ چاپ کھڑا رہا. لاچی کیا ایک اس کے پاس آگئی ۔ اس نے خوب چند کے کندھے پر دھیرے سے اپنا ہاتھ رکھ دیا اور بہت سے مدھم اور سیٹی آواز میں بولی اگر میں گل سے پیار نہ کرتی تو تیری ہو جاتی سپری ٹان ! " خود چند یک بارگی چونگا۔ پھر اس کے ہاتھوں کی مٹھیاں تن گئیں ۔ اس کا سارا جسم طوفان میں لرزنے والے پتے کی طرح کا نیا اور کانپ کر ایکا ایک ساکت ہو گیا۔ گویا پتہ ڈال سے گھر گیا اور ہواؤں کے تھپیڑے کھاتا ہوا کہیں دور فضا میں کھو گیا ۔ موت کی وادیوں میں ہمیشہ کیلئے کھو گیا ۔”
― KRISHAN CHANDAR

“ملن کی رات آئی تھی۔ مگر کسی کے لئے کتنی مہیب اور خوفناک ، ڈر اور وحشت سے معمور ، اور کسی کیلئے کیسی چمک دار اور درخشندہ کائنات کی ساری خوشبوؤں سے بھر پور ایک ہی رات تھی۔ مگر دونوں کیلئے کتنی مختلف تھی ۔ لایی اطمینان کی ٹھنڈی سانس بھر کر گل کے سینے سے لگ کر سوگئی تھی۔ اور گل سوچ رہا تھا، یہ ایک رات میں دو راتیں کیسے ممکن ہیں ؟ ایک رات تاریک اور سیاہ ، گہری اور اتھاہ بدہیئت اور بدبو دار ، غلاظت اور نجاست سے معمور، اور دوسری رات ستھرے ستھرے جذبات والی ، معصوم اور پاکیزہ رات، جب کہکشاں مسکراتی ہے۔ اور چاندنی سیل رواں بن کر بہتی ہے اور افق سے افق تک کسی کے ذہن میں ستاروں کے پھول کھل جاتے ہیں۔ اور محبت کی آغوش وا ہو جاتی ہے ۔ اور کوئی اطمینان کی گہری ٹھنڈی سانس لے کر اپنے آپ کو کسی کے سپرد کر دیتا ہے ۔ ہاں ایک رات اور دوسری رات میں اتناہی فرق ہے، جتنا نیکی اور بدی میں ......”
― KRISHAN CHANDAR, AIK AURAT HAZAR DIWANE by KRISHAN CHANDAR ایک عورت ہزار دیوانے

“A chorus of voices, each screaming to be silenced, trapped in a body that feels like a prison, a relentless symphony of self-loathing, where every breath is a reminder of the unbearable weight of existence.”
― Jonathan Harnisch, Sex, Drugs, and Schizophrenia

“I love you, too, Borne," I said, and it was true. "But that doesn't change things." Maybe the memory of love was enough, maybe the time we'd had together would be enough. Yet, inside, I was panicking already, screaming at the thought of it.”
― Jeff VanderMeer, Borne

“Bad guy… I’m a bad guy… bad guys don’t get flustered by silly women who make piss-poor decisions…”
― Lex Rose, The Charleston Avenue Flower Shop: Nothing Good Comes From Doing Good...