Social Expectations Quotes

“She turned and walked towards Krupp. She moved like smoke from the end of a cigarette in a still room, languorous, smooth. Her beauty stopped the conversation of the few people she walked past. Eyes of envy, lust, admiration, longing, followed her every move as she glided through the sumptuously furnished, dimly lit Champagne Bar. Krupp realised she was moving through the room deliberately towards him. He held his breath again as she approached him. His heart thumped against his lungs, making it hard to breathe out. Krupp sat up and he gulped when she saw him and looked straight into his eyes. He felt a tingle up his spine as she seemed to float, slowly, like a ghostly spirit between the tables. He wondered if she was real or a spectre. This could not possibly be Freya, he thought, and yet there was something …
She arrived at the table. She relaxed a knee. Their eyes met, a small smile on her lips. Krupp suddenly remembered his manners and stood, hauling himself up with the aid of his stick and the arm of the sofa. It could not have been an elegant move, he thought with annoyance. He should have remained seated.
“May I join you?” she said in perfect German.”
― Hugo Woolley, The Wasp Trap

“But what if I did tell people exactly what was going on? What if I valued my own peace of mind more than what other people think of me? Would I end up jobless, friendless, and loveless? Would I vanish entirely?”
― Melissa Broder, So Sad Today: Personal Essays

“I like you so much, Marianne said. Connell felt a pleasurable sorrow come over him, which brought him close to tears. Moments of emotional pain arrived like this, meaningless or at least indecipherable. Marianne lived a drastically free life, he could see that. He was trapped by various considerations. He cared what people thought of him. He even cared what Marianne thought, that was obvious now.”
― Sally Rooney, Normal People

“People may be constrained in two basic ways: physically, by confining them in jails, mental hospitals, and so forth; and symbolically, by confining them in occupations, social roles, and so forth. Actually, confinement of the second type is more common and pervasive in the day-to-day conduct of society’s business; as a rule, only when the symbolic, or socially informal, confinement of conduct fails or proves inadequate, is recourse taken to physical, or socially formal, confinement…. When people perform their social roles properly – in other words, when social expectations are adequately met – their behavior is considered normal. Though obvious, this deserves emphasis: a waiter must wait on tables; a secretary must type; a father must earn a living; a mother must cook and sew and take care of her children. Classic systems of psychiatric nosology had nothing to say about these people, so long as they remained neatly imprisoned in their respective social cells; or, as we say about the Negroes, so long as they “knew their place.” But when such persons broke out of “jail” and asserted their liberty, they became of interest to the psychiatrist.”
― Thomas Szasz, Ideology and Insanity: Essays on the Psychiatric Dehumanization of Man

“Many of us with anxiety don’t look like we’ve got a problem because outwardly we function ludicrously well. Or so the merry story goes. Our anxiety sees us make industrious lists and plans, run purposefully from one thing to the next, and move fast upstairs and across traffic intersections. We are a picture of efficiency and energy, always on the move, always doing.
We’re Rabbit from Winnie the Pooh, always flitting about convinced everyone depends on us to make things happen and to be there when they do. And to generally attend to happenings.
But beneath that veneer were being pushed by fear and doubt and a voice that tells us we’re a bad husband, and insufficient sister, we’re wasting time, we’re not producing enough, - that we turn everything into a clusterfuck.”
― Sarah Wilson, First, We Make the Beast Beautiful: A New Story About Anxiety

“Guys, you don't have to act "manly" to be considered a man; you are a man, so just be yourself. Don't let society make you believe you have to prove your masculinity to anyone because you don't. You are you and you are worthy, full stop.”
― Miya Yamanouchi , Embrace Your Sexual Self: A Practical Guide for Women

“Some hoped, watching Desiree hold the hand of the little dark girl, that the two wouldn't even stay that long. They weren't used to having a dark child amongst them and were surprised by how much it upset them. Each time that girl passed by, no hat or nothing, they were as galled as when Thomas Richard returned from the war, half a leg lighter, and walked around town with one pant leg pinned back so that everyone could see his loss. If nothing could be done about ugliness, you ought to at least look like you were trying to hide it.”
― Brit Bennett, The Vanishing Half

“Some hoped, watching Desiree hold the hand of the little dark girl, that the two wouldn't even stay that long. They weren't used to having a dark child amongst them and were surprised by how much it upset them. Each time that girl passed by, no hat or nothing, they were as galled as when Thomas Richard returned from the war, half a leg lighter, and walked around town with one pant leg pinned back to that everyone could see his loss. If nothing could be done about ugliness, you ought to at least look like you were trying to hide it.”
― Brit Bennett, The Vanishing Half

“Are you to break your heart to set his mind at ease? No man under heaven deserves these sacrifices from us women. Men! They are the enemies of our innocence and our peace - they drag us away from our parents' love and our sisters' friendship - they take us body and soul to themselves, and fasten our helpless lives to theirs as they chain up a dog to his kennel. And what does the best of them give us in return?”
― Wilkie Collins, The Woman in White

“Don't doubt my courage, Walter," she pleaded, "it's my weakness that cries, not me.”
― Wilkie Collins, The Woman in White

“In i det längsta ville hon vara en god dotter ... In i det sista ville hon visa en ängels tålamod ... Ända in på slutet beredde hon sig att orubblig försöka ta emot de stötar, som föräldrarnas obetänksamma uppträdande och otakt kunde ge henne ... Hon beslöt sig att vara karaktärsfast. Hade hon sagt en sak, så skulle ingenting kunna förmå henne att ändra den. Ingen skulle kunna säga efteråt: "Det var tal om det, men det vart inte .. ." Marta skulle visa minsann, att det skulle bli!” (Sid. 190)”
― Ivar Lo-Johansson, Kungsgatan

“Dressing like that creates the wrong idea.”

“Oh really?” Wendy narrowed her eyes; John was moving into dangerous territory. “I wasn’t aware that wearing the same shirt you’re wearing was revolutionary.”

“It’s a man’s shirt, Wendy.”

Wendy scoffed. “Surprisingly, I’m aware of that. This was all I could find, so unless you want me to go to dinner naked, I suggest you come to terms with my shirt.”
― Lucy Gould, The Rescue

“I pause, realizing I too am still battling life's bullies. We just call them by different names: stereotypes, biases, social expectations. Different names, the same result, leaving us with the feeling of being worthless.”
― Jessica K. Webb, Sweet Dreams: Twisted Reflections, Book 1

“One could see that he was fearfully bored, but that he was valiantly keeping up the part of the man perfectly happy and enjoying himself.”
― Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Christmas Tree and the Wedding

“As I've gotten older and realised that society's expectations are only as firm as we allow them to be, I've discovered that allowing myself to unmask and be my authentic autistic self--stims and all--has unleashed more ability than I ever had when I was locking myself away.”
― Chloé Hayden, Different, Not Less: A Neurodivergent's Guide to Embracing Your True Self and Finding Your Happily Ever After