Mustache Quotes

“Since I don't smoke, I decided to grow a mustache - it is better for the health.
However, I always carried a jewel-studded cigarette case in which, instead of tobacco, were carefully placed several mustaches, Adolphe Menjou style. I offered them politely to my friends: "Mustache? Mustache? Mustache?"
Nobody dared to touch them. This was my test regarding the sacred aspect of mustaches.”
― Salvador Dalí, Dalí's Mustache

“I know these sorts of people. They're not men. They're mustaches with idiots attached.”
― Katherine Rundell, Rooftoppers

“If I told you I love you now
How many seconds would it take
How long would you allow
All that I am to break
I turn away
Before you can see
How badly I need you to stay
With me”
― Penny Reid, Beauty and the Mustache

“Have a care how you speak to me, Imp. Doubtless he meant to sound threatening, but that absurd wisp of a mustache ruined the effect.”
― George R.R. Martin, A Clash of Kings

“It was difficult to see the exact nature of his expression as, in addition to the ubiquitous mustache, the clockmaker also wore a golden-brown beard of such epic proportions as might dwarf a mulberry bush. It was as though his mustache had become overly enthusiastic and, seized with the spirit of adventure, set out to conquer the southern reaches of his face in a take-no-prisoners kind of way.”
― Gail Carriger, Blameless

“A mustache sends a visual message to the mating population of Earth that says, "No thank you. I have procreated. My DNA is out in the world, and so I no longer deserve physical affection. Instead, it is time for me to turn away from sex and toward new pursuits, the classic weird dad hobbies such as puns, learning trivia about bridges and wars, and dreaming about societal collapse and global apocalypse.”
― John Hodgman, Vacationland: True Stories from Painful Beaches

“We’re taking it a hundred miles north.
That’s a hundred miles closer to where you are.
I’ve decided units and measurements of distance are bullshit.
With you there are only two distances that matter:
Here.
Not here.
You are not here.”
― Penny Reid, Beauty and the Mustache

“At the last minute, I couldn't wear the Hitler mustache because Tiger Stripe ate it; and then I didn't want to take my kitty and risk his coughing up some big Nazi hairball on someone's front stoop.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Damned

“A black boy brought Wilson's gin and he sipped it very slowly because he had nothing else to do except to return to his hot and squalid room and read a novel - or a poem. Wilson liked poetry, but he absorbed it secretly, like a drug. The Golden Treasury accompanied him wherever he went, but it was taken at night in small doses - a finger of Longfellow, Macaulay, Mangan: 'Go on to tell how, with genius wasted, Betrayed in friendship, befooled in love...' His taste was romantic. For public exhibition he has his Wallace. He wanted passionately to be indistinguishable on the surface from other men: he wore his moustache like a club tie - it was his highest common factor, but his eyes betrayed him - brown dog's eyes, a setter's eyes, pointing mournfully towards Bond Street.”
― Graham Greene, The Heart of the Matter

“He sips his drink and it leaves his handlebar mustache dripping like a cattle dog come outta a river.”
― Erin Bowman, Vengeance Road

“The demonic face stared up at him. It had horns, a Snidely Whiplash mustache and a nasty grin.”
― Pamela K. Kinney, "Let Demon Dogs Lie," Southern Haunts: Devils in the Darkness

“We’re taking it a hundred miles north. That’s a hundred miles closer to where you are. I’ve decided units and measurements of distance are bullshit. With you there are only two distances that matter:
Here.
Not here.
You are not here.”
― Penny Reid, Beauty and the Mustache

“The pretty landlady was desolate. She would have taken D'Artagnan not only as her husband, but as her God, he was so handsome and had so fierce a mustache.”
― Alexandre Dumas, Premium Collection - 27 Novels in One Volume: The Three Musketeers Series, The Marie Antoinette Novels, The Count of Monte Cristo, The ... Hero of the People, The Queen's Necklace...

“A red nose is the clown's mask and my moustache is mine.”
― Nuno Roque

“I used to have an eagle for a mustache. I made FREEDOM music when I whistled. Now I'm wiser. Now I have a duck above my upper lip.”
― Jarod Kintz, Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

“Jean smirked, and delicately swirled the mic in his hands, careful not to make a sound. “Oui. C’est normal. C'est pas spécial. I will give you something worthy of Holmes.” Jean set down the mic and proceeded toward the couple. As he approached them, he fiddled with his mustache for a moment, and then pulled it sharply. He winced at the sensation. “I have it,” he declared confidently. “You sir, are a thief.”
― Zechariah Barrett

“Bobby just stared at me. There was already crumbs in his mustache and it was barely seven in the morning.”
― Susan Juby, Home to Woefield

“- My love is about 2/3rds as invisible as her love, and that sort of transparency isn’t really all that healthy in a relationship.
- I chop trees down with my sharpened mustache, remember? Cloning works, but can lead you in the wrong direction.
-Jarod Kintz and Stefan D”
― Stefan D

“- Zniszczę kapitalizm! Słyszysz? Zniszczę każdego jednego kapitalistę! A zacznę od ciebie, psie, jak nam nie pomożesz z bombą!
(...)
- Myślałem nad jedną rzeczą - powiedział Allan.
- Jaką? - spytał Stalin ze złością.
- Że może wziąłbyś i zgolił te wąsy?”
― Jonas Jonasson, The Hundred-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out of the Window and Disappeared

“Though fallen down, be proud your mustache is not muddled”
― Sir P.S. Jagadeesh Kumar

“And are you still in love?"
"No. Have you always had a mustache?"
"Only when I go out. When I am at home I take it off."
"Take it off now."
"Why do you want to kill yourself?"
"Why do you wear a false mustache?”
― Silvina Ocampo, Thus Were Their Faces

“Your beard. And that mustache.”
“What about them?”
“Why do they exist?”
― T.J. Klune, How to Be a Movie Star