Office Worker Quotes

“Without pride, man becomes a parasite – and there are already too many parasites.”
― Carla H Krueger, From the Horse’s Mouth

“Shame comes in different doses.”
― Carla H Krueger, From the Horse’s Mouth

“Nobody sane loves working in an office, It’s against human nature to be locked up in a cubicle all day long.”
― Peter Clines, 14

“Rare contact creates a stir. Gossip spreads. Tensions build. Denying Pissec, miserable Obelmäker and repressed Baumauer are all seething-jealous – openly or reservedly – within the hour. The pay rise promise is working a treat. Brichacek’s licking the tip of a pencil with her sticky pink tongue. “Stop flirting,” he tells her, but he looks at her breasts and thinks, The girls with the bruises in the sex films are just dead dolls, but this pretty toy is alive.”
― Carla H Krueger, From the Horse’s Mouth

“It’s late and most of the clerks are at home in their beds, dreaming of swimming in pools filled with real money.”
― Carla H Krueger, From the Horse’s Mouth

“Only men with intelligence, confidence and absolutely no empathy at all can progress upstairs.”
― Carla H Krueger, From the Horse’s Mouth

“Don’t mock my suggestions, Ridley – one day in the near future, they might just save your life.” Maxwell D. Kalist.”
― Carla H Krueger, From the Horse’s Mouth

“Men circle like bees around honey, buzzing to communicate their sexual despair.”
― Carla H Krueger, From the Horse’s Mouth

“To Kalist, Baumauer’s just a timber bridge in need of a good hot fire.”
― Carla H Krueger, From the Horse’s Mouth

“Are there not times, Ridley, when you yourself wish only to hear the best in people – and not to be dragged downwards into the underworld we all regularly inhabit?”
― Carla H Krueger, From the Horse’s Mouth

“Every time I so much as blink you get an erection.”
― Carla H Krueger, From the Horse’s Mouth

“Maxwell D. Kalist is a receiving teller at a city bank, Orwell and Finch, where he runs an efficient department of twenty two clerks and twelve junior clerks. He carries a leather-bound vade mecum everywhere with him – a handbook of the most widely contravened banking rules. He works humourlessly (on the surface of it) in a private, perfectly square office on the third floor of a restored grain exchange midway along the Eastern flank of Květniv’s busy, modern central plaza. Behind his oblong slate desk and black leather swivel chair is an intimidating, three-storey wall made almost entirely of bevelled, glare-reducing grey glass in art-deco style; one hundred and thirty six rectangles of gleam stacked together in a dangerously heavy collage.”
― Carla H Krueger, From the Horse’s Mouth

“Each day of the week, Kalist indulges himself in a different, secret ritual. On Mondays, he wears cologne. On Tuesdays, he eats meat for lunch. On Wednesdays, he places a bet after work. On Thursdays, he smokes one cigarette (but claims he’s not a smoker). On Fridays, he treats himself to his favourite pastime: horse practice – he grew up with horses and likes to try and emulate their distinctive whinnies, snorts, neighs, snuffles, sighs, grunts, fluttering nostrils, the occasional aggressive outburst and the especially beautiful nicker of a mare to her foal. And, on Saturdays, lest we forget, Maxwell D. Kalist drinks wine from a chalice.”
― Carla H Krueger, From the Horse’s Mouth

“You are a more powerful person than you might have ever imagined.” Maxwell D. Kalist.”
― Carla H Krueger, From the Horse’s Mouth

“He’s in a side room alone with her and it’s far too fucking hot.”
― Carla H Krueger, From the Horse’s Mouth

“I’m warning you because you’re young and vulnerable. He’s a dirty, lying, conniving piece of shit and he’s dangerous.” Gottfried Baumauer.”
― Carla H Krueger, From the Horse’s Mouth

“Secrets are dangerous.” Gottfried Baumauer.”
― Carla H Krueger, From the Horse’s Mouth

“The manager is an animal who is hated by everyone but still everyone wants to be one!”
― Swapnil Thakur, Almighty's Embryo

“In my most desperate moments, I have never conceived of anything more horrible than a law office.”
― Marcel Proust

“I'd commit war crimes for horchata, you don't wanna know what I'd do to never return to the office.”
― stained hanes, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

“Light and the human is poorly understood by the astronomical
profession, with many astronomers not understanding which light bulbs they should have in their own
homes and offices! It is embarrassing that astronomers do not understand the many forms of artificial
lighting that they are exposed to every day and how it affects them.”
― Steven Magee

“Formal business situations are likely to be the least revealing because these are the times when all of us are most likely to have our ‘game faces' on.”
― Abhishek Ratna, No Parking. No Halt. Success Non Stop!

“Miss Manners keeps urging people (to no avail whatsoever) not to make personal celebrations into office parties.

These are not people who were drawn together voluntarily by mutual affection, but co-workers who are there to make their living. True, many of them may become friends and share one another's joys and sorrows, but others may find that a cordial working relationship is all they want or can manage to summon to conceal their distaste. It can become too much to expect these people to fake warmth, which is a good reason for not setting up office events that require this.”
― Miss Manners

“Deliberate misfiling ran fingernails down the blackboard of his very soul.”
― Terry Pratchett, Going Postal