Shannon

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Lundy Bancroft
“YOUR ABUSIVE PARTNER DOESN’T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIS ANGER; HE HAS A PROBLEM WITH YOUR ANGER.
One of the basic human rights he takes away from you is the right to be angry with him. No matter how badly he treats you, he believes that your voice shouldn’t rise and your blood shouldn’t boil. The privilege of rage is reserved for him alone. When your anger does jump out of you—as will happen to any abused woman from time to time—he is likely to try to jam it back down your throat as quickly as he can. Then he uses your anger against you to prove what an irrational person you are. Abuse can make you feel straitjacketed. You may develop physical or emotional reactions to swallowing your anger, such as depression, nightmares, emotional numbing, or eating and sleeping problems, which your partner may use as an excuse to belittle you further or make you feel crazy.”
Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

Lundy Bancroft
“Objectification is a critical reason why an abuser tends to get worse over time. As his conscience adapts to one level of cruelty—or violence—he builds to the next. By depersonalizing his partner, the abuser protects himself from the natural human emotions of guilt and empathy, so that he can sleep at night with a clear conscience. He distances himself so far from her humanity that her feelings no longer count, or simply cease to exist. These walls tend to grow over time, so that after a few years in a relationship my clients can reach a point where they feel no more guilt over degrading or threatening their partners than you or I would feel after angrily kicking a stone in the driveway.”
Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

F. Scott Fitzgerald
“You’ll understand why storms are named after people.”
F Scott Fitzgerald

Virginia Woolf
“Modern women are frustrated and angry, their experience is limited; modern men are obsessed with the letter “I”; their writing is full of self-conscious indecency, self-conscious virility. It is essentially sterile.”
Virginia Woolf, A Room Of One's Own: The Virginia Woolf Library Authorized Edition

Lundy Bancroft
“One of the obstacles to recognizing chronic mistreatment in relationships is that most abusive men simply don’t seem like abusers. They have many good qualities, including times of kindness, warmth, and humor, especially in the early period of a relationship. An abuser’s friends may think the world of him. He may have a successful work life and have no problems with drugs or alcohol. He may simply not fit anyone’s image of a cruel or intimidating person. So when a woman feels her relationship spinning out of control, it is unlikely to occur to her that her partner is an abuser.”
Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

108221 Washington Post Reads — 605 members — last activity Apr 01, 2014 07:21PM
The first book we will be reading is "Beautiful Ruins" by Jess Walter. "Hopscotching between 1960s Italy and contemporary Hollywood, “Beautiful Ruins” ...more
837619 Bustle Book Club — 269 members — last activity Sep 07, 2020 03:58PM
Each month, the Bustle Book Club asks an author to recommend a book they think everyone should read.
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