Sandy

“How do you plan to scare people tonight?" asked a hollow-voiced spector. "I'll wait until they sit down to supper, then scream whenever someone sticks his knife in his meat."

I'll haunt the bedchambers," said another. "A bloody ax at midnight always gets a good reaction."

A ghost with a purplish tinge to his aura spoke next. "I can top both of you. I'm going to dress like a guard and haunt the privy. I'll hide in the hole and when anyone sits down I'll wail, 'Who goes there? State your business!”
― E.D. Baker, Once Upon a Curse

“Do you know where most skeletons come from?"
"When a mommy skeleton loves a daddy skeleton very much...”
― Leigh Perry, A Skeleton in the Family

“Oh, what would you like on your vegetarian pizza?" "Dead pigs and cows," I said. She glanced up at me and wrinkled her nose. "They're vegetarians," I said defensively.”
― Jim Butcher, Blood Rites

“What do you think? Does this face make me look fat?”
― Kiersten White, Paranormalcy