Vicki

“I'm twenty-nine, happily single and getting it on a regular basis' I said, enjoying the way their thin lips hung open in an impressive O.

'Well I've never,' Jane gasped.

'Clearly. You should try it some time. I understand Mr Smith is so vision impaired you might have a shot there.'

Their appalled shrieks were music to my ears and I quickly made my escape.”
― Robyn Peterman, Fashionably Dead

“My neighbor raised a shaking index finger to point at the saguaro. "That moving cactus...and the big bug...and you, you spooky bastard. What are you?

I stuffed my hands in my pockets and grinned winningly at him. "Why, I'm the Antichrist, of course.”
― Kevin Hearne, Hexed