Astrid

“Imagine a hypothetical job applicant. He can't spell the simplest words, such as "heal" and "tap". Confused by geography, he thinks there's an African country called "Nambia". As for American history, he's under the impression that Andrew Jackson, who died in 1845, was angry about the Civil War, and that Frederick Douglass, who died in 1895, is still alive.
Given the alarming state of his knowledge, you might wonder what job he could get. Unfortunately, he's not hypothetical, and the job he got, in 2016, was president of the United States.”
― Andy Borowitz, Profiles in Ignorance: How America's Politicians Got Dumb and Dumber

“The task of watering the arid desert between Reagan’s ears is a challenging one for his aides.” And, continuing with the water imagery, a California legislator said, “You could walk through Ronald Reagan’s deepest thoughts and not get your ankles wet.”
― Andy Borowitz, Profiles in Ignorance: How America's Politicians Got Dumb and Dumber

“Think about it...
The Republicans have gone from Abraham Lincoln to Sarah Palin to Donald Trump.
No wonder they don't believe in evolution.”
― Andy Borowitz

“Being dumb’s just about the worst thing there is when it comes to holding high office. —HARRY S. TRUMAN The worst thing a man can do is go bald. —DONALD J. TRUMP”
― Andy Borowitz, Profiles in Ignorance: How America's Politicians Got Dumb and Dumber