Chris

“How is that weird?” Dark the First asked incredulously. “Literally everyone does it. Literally.”
“I really wish you’d stop saying literally,” Dark the Second said. “I literally don’t think you understand what that word means.”
― T.J. Klune, The Lightning-Struck Heart

“I like you,” Gary finally said in a low voice.
“Thank you? I thought you already did.”
“No. Like, I really like you. Before, I was just pretending. I actually think I almost despised you. But now I don’t.”
“You almost despised me.”
“Almost.”
“And now you don’t.”
“Now I don’t.”
“Because….”
Gary breathed more on his face, nostrils flaring. Then (finally), “Unicorns are fickle creatures. I don’t need a reason to change my mind. It’s been done and you should just accept it and be thankful I no longer plot to murder you in your sleep.”
“Testify,” Tiggy said.
“So now you have affection for me,” Ryan said, “and you—”
“I didn’t say affection. I said I liked you, not that I’m ready to pick out curtains. Gods. Calm the fuck down. You’re engaged to be married. I will not be your dirty little secret. I am a strong, independent unicorn, and I will not take your shit.”
― T.J. Klune, The Lightning-Struck Heart

“You know what they say, once you go dragon, all the rest is just laggin’.”
“No one says that,” I said. “Absolutely no one.”
― T.J. Klune, The Lightning-Struck Heart

“Or not,” I said as I ground my teeth. “I like to masticate by myself.” “And you’re so good at it,” Gary said. “The up and down motions of your… jaw. And then, upon completion, you swallow. Right, Sam? You swallow, don’t you?” “Of course I do,” I said, confused. What the hell were we talking about now? “I always swallow when I finish. What am I supposed to do? Spit it back out?”
― T.J. Klune, The Lightning-Struck Heart