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Ervina Bajrami
https://ervinabajrami.substack.com
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english-literature-university (24)
sufism (17)
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read (128)
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english-literature-university (24)
sufism (17)
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(14)
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20th-century-europe (7)
perla-në-shqip (7)
middle-eastern-history (6)
ottoman-history-books-issues (6)
pedagogi (6)
mejhanja-e-mevlanes (12)
politics-colonialism-racism (12)
svenska (10)
20th-century-europe (7)
perla-në-shqip (7)
middle-eastern-history (6)
ottoman-history-books-issues (6)
pedagogi (6)
“Do not love half lovers
Do not entertain half friends
Do not indulge in works of the half talented
Do not live half a life
and do not die a half death
If you choose silence, then be silent
When you speak, do so until you are finished
Do not silence yourself to say something
And do not speak to be silent
If you accept, then express it bluntly
Do not mask it
If you refuse then be clear about it
for an ambiguous refusal is but a weak acceptance
Do not accept half a solution
Do not believe half truths
Do not dream half a dream
Do not fantasize about half hopes
Half a drink will not quench your thirst
Half a meal will not satiate your hunger
Half the way will get you no where
Half an idea will bear you no results
Your other half is not the one you love
It is you in another time yet in the same space
It is you when you are not
Half a life is a life you didn't live,
A word you have not said
A smile you postponed
A love you have not had
A friendship you did not know
To reach and not arrive
Work and not work
Attend only to be absent
What makes you a stranger to them closest to you
and they strangers to you
The half is a mere moment of inability
but you are able for you are not half a being
You are a whole that exists to live a life
not half a life”
―
Do not entertain half friends
Do not indulge in works of the half talented
Do not live half a life
and do not die a half death
If you choose silence, then be silent
When you speak, do so until you are finished
Do not silence yourself to say something
And do not speak to be silent
If you accept, then express it bluntly
Do not mask it
If you refuse then be clear about it
for an ambiguous refusal is but a weak acceptance
Do not accept half a solution
Do not believe half truths
Do not dream half a dream
Do not fantasize about half hopes
Half a drink will not quench your thirst
Half a meal will not satiate your hunger
Half the way will get you no where
Half an idea will bear you no results
Your other half is not the one you love
It is you in another time yet in the same space
It is you when you are not
Half a life is a life you didn't live,
A word you have not said
A smile you postponed
A love you have not had
A friendship you did not know
To reach and not arrive
Work and not work
Attend only to be absent
What makes you a stranger to them closest to you
and they strangers to you
The half is a mere moment of inability
but you are able for you are not half a being
You are a whole that exists to live a life
not half a life”
―
“It’s never the value of water but thirst, it’s never the value of life but death and it’s never about the friendship but trust.”
―
―
“You must be humble, as it is one of the greatest [forms of] worship.”
―
―
“Beauty
Void lay the world, in nothingness concealed,
Without a trace of light or life revealed,
Save one existence which second knew-
Unknown the pleasant words of We and You.
Then Beauty shone, from stranger glances free,
Seen of herself, with naught beside to see,
With garments pure of stain, the fairest flower
Of virgin loveliness in bridal bower.
No combing hand had smoothed a flowing tress,
No mirror shown her eyes their loveliness
No surma dust those cloudless orbs had known,
To the bright rose her cheek no bulbul flown.
No heightening hand had decked the rose with green,
No patch or spot upon that cheek was seen.
No zephyr from her brow had fliched a hair,
No eye in thought had seen the splendour there.
Her witching snares in solitude she laid,
And love's sweet game without a partner played.
But when bright Beauty reigns and knows her power
She springs indignant from her curtained bower.
She scorns seclusion and eludes the guard,
And from the window looks if doors be barred.
See how the tulip on the mountain grown
Soon as the breath of genial Spring has blown,
Bursts from the rock, impatient to display
Her nascent beauty to the eye of day.
When sudden to thy soul reflection brings
The precious meaning of mysterious things,
Thou canst not drive the thought from out thy brain;
Speak, hear thou must, for silence is such pain.
So beauty ne'er will quit the urgent claim
Whose motive first from heavenly beauty came
When from her blessed bower she fondly strayed,
And to the world and man her charms displayed.
In every mirror then her face was shown,
Her praise in every place was heard and known.
Touched by her light, the hearts of angels burned,
And, like the circling spheres, their heads were turned,
While saintly bands, whom purest at the sight of her,
And those who bathe them in the ocean sky
Cries out enraptured, "Laud to God on high!"
Rays of her splendour lit the rose's breast
And stirred the bulbul's heart with sweet unrest.
From her bright glow its cheek the flambeau fired,
And myriad moths around the flame expired.
Her glory lent the very sun the ray
Which wakes the lotus on the flood to-day.
Her loveliness made Laila's face look fair
To Majnún, fettered by her every hair.
She opened Shírín's sugared lips, and stole
From Parvíz' breast and brave Farhád's the soul.
Through her his head the Moon of Canaan raised,
And fond Zulaikha perished as she gazed.
Yes, though she shrinks from earthly lovers' call,
Eternal Beauty is the queen of all;
In every curtained bower the screen she holds,
About each captured heart her bonds enfolds.
Through her sweet love the heart its life retains,
The soul through love of her its object gains.
The heart which maidens' gentle witcheries stir
Is, though unconscious, fired with love of her.
Refrain from idle speech; mistake no more:
She brings her chains and we, her slaves, adore.
Fair and approved of Love, thou still must own
That gift of beauty comes from her alone.
Thou art concealed: she meets all lifted eyes;
Thou art the mirror which she beautifies.
She is that mirror, if we closely view
The truth- the treasure and the treasury too.
But thou and I- our serious work is naught;
We waste our days unmoved by earnest thought.
Cease, or my task will never end, for her
Sweet beauties lack a meet interpreter.
Then let us still the slaves of love remain
For without love we live in vain, in vain.
Jámí, "Yúsuf and Zulaikha". trans. Ralph T. H. Griffith. Ballantyne Press 1882. London. p.19-22”
―
Void lay the world, in nothingness concealed,
Without a trace of light or life revealed,
Save one existence which second knew-
Unknown the pleasant words of We and You.
Then Beauty shone, from stranger glances free,
Seen of herself, with naught beside to see,
With garments pure of stain, the fairest flower
Of virgin loveliness in bridal bower.
No combing hand had smoothed a flowing tress,
No mirror shown her eyes their loveliness
No surma dust those cloudless orbs had known,
To the bright rose her cheek no bulbul flown.
No heightening hand had decked the rose with green,
No patch or spot upon that cheek was seen.
No zephyr from her brow had fliched a hair,
No eye in thought had seen the splendour there.
Her witching snares in solitude she laid,
And love's sweet game without a partner played.
But when bright Beauty reigns and knows her power
She springs indignant from her curtained bower.
She scorns seclusion and eludes the guard,
And from the window looks if doors be barred.
See how the tulip on the mountain grown
Soon as the breath of genial Spring has blown,
Bursts from the rock, impatient to display
Her nascent beauty to the eye of day.
When sudden to thy soul reflection brings
The precious meaning of mysterious things,
Thou canst not drive the thought from out thy brain;
Speak, hear thou must, for silence is such pain.
So beauty ne'er will quit the urgent claim
Whose motive first from heavenly beauty came
When from her blessed bower she fondly strayed,
And to the world and man her charms displayed.
In every mirror then her face was shown,
Her praise in every place was heard and known.
Touched by her light, the hearts of angels burned,
And, like the circling spheres, their heads were turned,
While saintly bands, whom purest at the sight of her,
And those who bathe them in the ocean sky
Cries out enraptured, "Laud to God on high!"
Rays of her splendour lit the rose's breast
And stirred the bulbul's heart with sweet unrest.
From her bright glow its cheek the flambeau fired,
And myriad moths around the flame expired.
Her glory lent the very sun the ray
Which wakes the lotus on the flood to-day.
Her loveliness made Laila's face look fair
To Majnún, fettered by her every hair.
She opened Shírín's sugared lips, and stole
From Parvíz' breast and brave Farhád's the soul.
Through her his head the Moon of Canaan raised,
And fond Zulaikha perished as she gazed.
Yes, though she shrinks from earthly lovers' call,
Eternal Beauty is the queen of all;
In every curtained bower the screen she holds,
About each captured heart her bonds enfolds.
Through her sweet love the heart its life retains,
The soul through love of her its object gains.
The heart which maidens' gentle witcheries stir
Is, though unconscious, fired with love of her.
Refrain from idle speech; mistake no more:
She brings her chains and we, her slaves, adore.
Fair and approved of Love, thou still must own
That gift of beauty comes from her alone.
Thou art concealed: she meets all lifted eyes;
Thou art the mirror which she beautifies.
She is that mirror, if we closely view
The truth- the treasure and the treasury too.
But thou and I- our serious work is naught;
We waste our days unmoved by earnest thought.
Cease, or my task will never end, for her
Sweet beauties lack a meet interpreter.
Then let us still the slaves of love remain
For without love we live in vain, in vain.
Jámí, "Yúsuf and Zulaikha". trans. Ralph T. H. Griffith. Ballantyne Press 1882. London. p.19-22”
―
“Po behen pothuaj tri jave nga shetitja e nje Majit, por bashke me keto po behen edhe tri jave nga pershendetja tallese dhe e fundit e Poles.
Mendoj, mendoj dhe habitem me vete: A me te vertete me ka dashuruar Pola? Atehere cfare dreq eshte kjo dashuri rinie? Une po! Kam dashuri, d.m.th., gezohem kur gezohen te tjeret dhe deshperohem, kur deshperohen ata. Mirepo, kete fare gezimi e deshperimi e ndiej edhe per cdo njeri te larget, madje edhe per Polen e per te gjithe. . ., por asnje nuk dua te kem pa pa perpara. . . I dua, por malli s’me merr! E shoh njerine si njeri per t’u pare, por jo per t’u adhuruar. Njeriu, qe do te adhurohet — qe do te dashurohet, desha te them — prej te gjitheve a prej nje njeriu s’eshte lindur ende. . ., por as qe ka per t’u lindur ndonje i tille!
Pra, po them te drejten, se une e doja dhe e dua me gjithe zemer Polen, por me nje dashuri familjare, ashtu si i dua dhe motrat e mia. Sa here qe ka rene puna per te kercyer dance me te a te fjalosesha per ndonje gje, gjithnje e nderoja si njeri, pa anuar mendja per keq. E them kete, sepse ta dashurosh tjetrin ose tjetren per nje pune shtazore, atehere humbet cdo qellim njerezor dhe pastaj eshte e kote te dashurosh!
Por ja qe doli ne shesh:
-Te dua! - me tha si pa gje te keqe.
- Fort mire! Me do? Edhe une te dua!
U mbarua puna. Mirpo:
- Pse nuk me dorezohesh?
Ja kete mister nuk mund ta zgjidh. Per te dashuruar si moter a si njeri e kam dashuruar, por per ta dashuruar si kafshe, as qe me ka shkuar mendja. Por Pola me paska dashur per burre te saj. . . per jeten e saj!
Ne qofte se ishte ndonje tjeter ne vendin tim, kete gje do ta quante si dashuri rinie; mirepo une nuk e quaj, dhe as qe kam pse ta quaj ashtu. Po, mik, nuk e quaj: mbasi u njohem mire me Polen, ajo eshte sjelle me shume miqesi me mua, aq sa me se fundi pati guximin perpara familjes se saj te me jepte nje dhurate. Por kjo s’ka ndonje rendesi, mbasi dhurata nuk eshte gje tjeter, vecse nje shprehje adhurimi njerezor, nje pasterti zemre per njeri-tjetrin. Me vone miqesia u kthye jo ne dashuri familjare, por ne dashuri hice, ne dashuri te rreme, se brenda saj fshihej: “Te me dorrezohesh!”. Ajo e mendonte jeten, te ardhmen e saj te siguruar fare mire me mua; vec kesaj, nga qe jam i pashem dhe terheqes, ajo donte te mertohej me mua. Thurr e c’thur enderra lumturie, enderra martese. Shiko tani se ku qendronte dashuria e Poles: tek e ardhmja e saj: eshte i mire dhe nuk do vuaj: pra: ka dashuri!
Kete “te me dorezohesh!”, e mbajti te mbyllur ne zemren e saj shume muaj, me shprese, se do t’ia thoja une me pare. Mirpo, kur pa, se s’ia varja veshin fare per kete pune, atehere u detyrua te ma thote vete kete gje. Por, fatkeqesi per te!
- Pse nuk me dorezohesh? . . .
- Pse nuk mund. . . pse kam tjeter! - Keto fjale te mia i rane si bombe. E po atehere? Atehere gjithe shpresa e saj e bukur u varros sa pa lindur dhe pastaj, duke mos ditur se si ta mbronte veten, filloi te qaje: qante zemra e saj me lejen e arsyes per lumturine e enderruar, qe i vdiq. Puna e saj eshte porsi nje vdekje. Kur vdes njeriu, qajme pse pa ate na cenohet disi rruga e jetes. Keshtu pra, Pola, nuk qau dashurine time, por kujtimin e lumturise se saj! Dhe me se fundi iku!
Sikur te me dashuronte me te vertete, Pola, edhe kur ia tregova lajmin e fejeses, ajo duhej te me dashuronte ashtu sikurse e dua une, me gjithe qe jam i lidhur me Aferditen. Mirepo, ajo jo, me dashuronte deri sa e shihte se po shkonte mbare interesi i saj, por kur e pa se ai ngeci atehere ngeci dhe dashuria e saj.”
― Why?!
Mendoj, mendoj dhe habitem me vete: A me te vertete me ka dashuruar Pola? Atehere cfare dreq eshte kjo dashuri rinie? Une po! Kam dashuri, d.m.th., gezohem kur gezohen te tjeret dhe deshperohem, kur deshperohen ata. Mirepo, kete fare gezimi e deshperimi e ndiej edhe per cdo njeri te larget, madje edhe per Polen e per te gjithe. . ., por asnje nuk dua te kem pa pa perpara. . . I dua, por malli s’me merr! E shoh njerine si njeri per t’u pare, por jo per t’u adhuruar. Njeriu, qe do te adhurohet — qe do te dashurohet, desha te them — prej te gjitheve a prej nje njeriu s’eshte lindur ende. . ., por as qe ka per t’u lindur ndonje i tille!
Pra, po them te drejten, se une e doja dhe e dua me gjithe zemer Polen, por me nje dashuri familjare, ashtu si i dua dhe motrat e mia. Sa here qe ka rene puna per te kercyer dance me te a te fjalosesha per ndonje gje, gjithnje e nderoja si njeri, pa anuar mendja per keq. E them kete, sepse ta dashurosh tjetrin ose tjetren per nje pune shtazore, atehere humbet cdo qellim njerezor dhe pastaj eshte e kote te dashurosh!
Por ja qe doli ne shesh:
-Te dua! - me tha si pa gje te keqe.
- Fort mire! Me do? Edhe une te dua!
U mbarua puna. Mirpo:
- Pse nuk me dorezohesh?
Ja kete mister nuk mund ta zgjidh. Per te dashuruar si moter a si njeri e kam dashuruar, por per ta dashuruar si kafshe, as qe me ka shkuar mendja. Por Pola me paska dashur per burre te saj. . . per jeten e saj!
Ne qofte se ishte ndonje tjeter ne vendin tim, kete gje do ta quante si dashuri rinie; mirepo une nuk e quaj, dhe as qe kam pse ta quaj ashtu. Po, mik, nuk e quaj: mbasi u njohem mire me Polen, ajo eshte sjelle me shume miqesi me mua, aq sa me se fundi pati guximin perpara familjes se saj te me jepte nje dhurate. Por kjo s’ka ndonje rendesi, mbasi dhurata nuk eshte gje tjeter, vecse nje shprehje adhurimi njerezor, nje pasterti zemre per njeri-tjetrin. Me vone miqesia u kthye jo ne dashuri familjare, por ne dashuri hice, ne dashuri te rreme, se brenda saj fshihej: “Te me dorrezohesh!”. Ajo e mendonte jeten, te ardhmen e saj te siguruar fare mire me mua; vec kesaj, nga qe jam i pashem dhe terheqes, ajo donte te mertohej me mua. Thurr e c’thur enderra lumturie, enderra martese. Shiko tani se ku qendronte dashuria e Poles: tek e ardhmja e saj: eshte i mire dhe nuk do vuaj: pra: ka dashuri!
Kete “te me dorezohesh!”, e mbajti te mbyllur ne zemren e saj shume muaj, me shprese, se do t’ia thoja une me pare. Mirpo, kur pa, se s’ia varja veshin fare per kete pune, atehere u detyrua te ma thote vete kete gje. Por, fatkeqesi per te!
- Pse nuk me dorezohesh? . . .
- Pse nuk mund. . . pse kam tjeter! - Keto fjale te mia i rane si bombe. E po atehere? Atehere gjithe shpresa e saj e bukur u varros sa pa lindur dhe pastaj, duke mos ditur se si ta mbronte veten, filloi te qaje: qante zemra e saj me lejen e arsyes per lumturine e enderruar, qe i vdiq. Puna e saj eshte porsi nje vdekje. Kur vdes njeriu, qajme pse pa ate na cenohet disi rruga e jetes. Keshtu pra, Pola, nuk qau dashurine time, por kujtimin e lumturise se saj! Dhe me se fundi iku!
Sikur te me dashuronte me te vertete, Pola, edhe kur ia tregova lajmin e fejeses, ajo duhej te me dashuronte ashtu sikurse e dua une, me gjithe qe jam i lidhur me Aferditen. Mirepo, ajo jo, me dashuronte deri sa e shihte se po shkonte mbare interesi i saj, por kur e pa se ai ngeci atehere ngeci dhe dashuria e saj.”
― Why?!
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Ervina’s 2025 Year in Books
Take a look at Ervina’s Year in Books, including some fun facts about their reading.
317 books
|
37 friends
363 books
|
924 friends
53 books
|
16 friends
747 books
|
170 friends
41 books
|
2 friends
1,090 books
|
494 friends
206 books
|
47 friends
119 books
|
5 friends
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