Heather

“How would you like your eggs?"

I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. "Fertilized?”
― Darynda Jones, Fifth Grave Past the Light

“A sheriff arrested me. I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure my men-in-uniform fetish began that day. The sheriff was hot. And he handcuffed me. I've never been the same.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“But, you're his son," I said, trying really hard to hate him. "You're the son of Satan. Literally."

"And you are the stepdaughter of Denise Davidson."

Wow. That was a bit harsh, but, "Okay, point taken.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“If I couldn't be a good example, I'd just have to be a horrible warning.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right