Gabby

“Good conversationalists ask for stories about specific events or experiences, and then they go even further. They don’t only want to talk about what happened, they want to know how you experienced what happened. They want to understand what you were feeling when your boss told you that you were being laid off. Was your first thought “How will I tell my family?” Was your dominant emotion dread, humiliation, or perhaps relief? Then a good conversationalist will ask how you’re experiencing now what you experienced then. In retrospect, was getting laid off a complete disaster, or did it send you off on a new path that you’re now grateful for?”
― David Brooks, How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen

“Even when you know someone well, I find that if you don’t talk about the little things on a regular basis, it’s hard to talk about the big things.”
― David Brooks, How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen

“I’ve learned to sometimes ask, “Where did you grow up?” which gets people talking about their hometown. I travel a lot for work, so there’s a good chance I’ll know something about their place. Other easy introductory questions are things like “That’s a lovely name. How did your parents choose it?” That prompts conversations about cultural background and family history. Those conversations often go off in good directions.”
― David Brooks, How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen

“Japanese culture encourages people to pause and reflect before replying.”
― David Brooks, How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen