William Cheney

“He was very pleased with himself.  The crowd around us watched and listened closely as he came up to me. “Did you pee on his car?” I asked.  “No?  So what did you do?” His eyes gleamed with self-satisfaction as a hunch occurred to me. “You didn’t?” I asked, impressed at the idea. “You did!” ‘What? What did he do, Chris?” Ned asked.  The whole group hung on my next words. “I think he answered an age-old question, Ned.  It turns out that bears don’t, in fact, shit in the woods—they shit on Sam Cooper’s car!”
― John Conroe, Fallen Stars

“Damn,” Stacia agreed softly.  “Sorry, but it was your own fault for calling him a monster,” she directed at the bouncer. “What?  What’s he doing?” the big bald guy asked. “He got your scent, so now he’s tracking down which car or truck is yours,” I said. “What’s he gonna do when he finds it?” Baldy asked. “Well, he kinda ate the last one,” I said regretfully. “What!”  Bouncer man took off into the parking lot at a dead run, pulling a key fob from his pocket as he went.  Almost immediately, Awasos came running from the side of the parking lot, having circled around. “Did you find it?” I asked him. He woofed once softly. “Did you pee on his radiator?” Another woof. “Good boy! Baked-on wolf pee has a half-life of like a year! Let’s go,” I said, ignoring the incredulous looks from the good ole boys.”
― John Conroe, Fallen Stars

“I want you to stop working out.  Your fitness levels will continue to improve without effort, and that is one way to slow your fat loss.  I also want you to eat as much high-fat, high-calorie food as you can, like these.”
― John Conroe, God Touched

“Grim noted that Declan’s approach would kill them all in just one second, beating our own best estimate quite handily.  I told Grim to shut up.”
― John Conroe, God Hammer