xy | silas

“[...]Like that. Yes. You’re doing it well.” He said the words he wished his Father had told him. “I’m very proud of you.” And though his voice shook, her smile made him surer of his decision than all else. ‘God will never love me again.’ He pulled her close and kissed her forehead. ‘But I won’t miss His love. I won’t miss Him.’ It was a lie, but he had been lying to himself for so long, had been a sinner all along. ‘I’ll learn to believe it.”
― Rafael Nicolás, Angels & Man

“They remind me of something, some other travelers—
‘Two great-uncles who went west years ago
And got lost in Colorado
Looking for the good life.
I have a picture of them; each is smiling,
Glad to be young and strong.
But you never know, traveling, around what bend
The dreams will curve to an end,
And what will happen then.”
― Mary Oliver, Twelve Moons

“Maybe there is some mercy in God, after all — if He allowed me to have you, for however short.”
― Rafael Nicolás, Angels & Man

“I wrote a pep talk recently to myself on a bar napkin: no matter which road you take, it will be both glorious and unbearable. Every road is lonely. Every road, holy. The only error is not walking forth.

Yesterday, a friend in California, when giving me directions, told me I could take the trail toward the tall pines or turn left and find a field of poppies, growing gold and savage at the edge of the valley.

When I asked which to choose, she simply shrugged and said: either way, it’s all heaven.”
― Joy Sullivan, Instructions for Traveling West: Poems