MiniMario

“About an hour and a half later, he poked his head out the back door. I was sitting in the grass in our backyard. “You can come on in if you want,” he said. “Also, wash your hands before you touch stuff. That conference hall floor smelled like dog shit and you were crawling around like a little monkey on it.”
― Justin Halpern, Sh*t My Dad Says

“Your friends’ parents drive like assholes. Tell them it’s an elementary school parking lot, not downtown fucking Manhattan.”
― Justin Halpern

“In possibly one of the cutest facts you will ever read, sea otters hold each other’s paws whilst they are asleep so they don’t drift apart from each other.”
― Jack Goldstein, 101 Amazing Facts

“On Lego's

"Listen, I don't want to stifle your creativity, but that thing you built there, it looks a pile of shit.”
― Justin Halpern, Sh*t My Dad Says