Status Updates From Love Expanded: How asexuals...

“Compulsory sexuality, for me, brought with it a kind of compulsory gender, even after I realized I stood outside the gender binary. Refusing compulsory sexuality meant refusing that compulsory gender too”

“Being ace, that attraction drive just isn’t there. And that means there is not much motivation to Do Gender as a part of the whole apparatus. That makes the whole thing kind of vestigial. Being ace makes gender stop being load-bearing for me”

Yep, this is absolutely involved in my gender feels. And is part of why it’s hard for me to know what I want to affirm my gender. What, socially, is gender for

“As an aroace person, I never underwent many of the milestones considered to be an integral part of growing up…Now, by failing to come out in a meaningful way (understandable to others, actionable), I had even fumbled the one milestone for living as a queer adult that I knew of. I felt like an incomplete adult, and an inauthentic queer”

Deeply resonate with this, but working on it.