Natalie’s Reviews > Love Expanded: How asexuals and aromantics are redefining love, life and family > Status Update

“Being ace, that attraction drive just isn’t there. And that means there is not much motivation to Do Gender as a part of the whole apparatus. That makes the whole thing kind of vestigial. Being ace makes gender stop being load-bearing for me”

Yep, this is absolutely involved in my gender feels. And is part of why it’s hard for me to know what I want to affirm my gender. What, socially, is gender for

“As an aroace person, I never underwent many of the milestones considered to be an integral part of growing up…Now, by failing to come out in a meaningful way (understandable to others, actionable), I had even fumbled the one milestone for living as a queer adult that I knew of. I felt like an incomplete adult, and an inauthentic queer”

Deeply resonate with this, but working on it.