Status Updates From The Sound of a Million Drea...

Four years and I was still overwhelmed by the dense fog that covers you when your children are very young, the one that makes you feel like every day is the longest day you’ve ever lived

I’d spend the next segment of my life trying to figure out how to align these pieces of myself through work, a recurring pattern, ending up in jobs that I felt like I should be good at or wanted to be good at but never really fit who I was. It wasn’t until the Stirring that I’d start to recognize I had it all wrong

I read a book by Os Guinness The Call. he tells his readers to “do what you are.” Meaning don’t find a job or invest ur time in areas that check off a list of boxes that ur merely good at (or not so good at) or even educated for; invest ur time in areas where God truly calls you into his kingdom, where the interior of who you are aligns w/ the exterior of a cosmos in which you have to spend eons of your time

I hadn’t yet learned that people are wired in different ways, that not only was it okay to be strong in some areas and limited (or downright awful) in others, it was perfectly normal.

And so instead of succumbing to despair, letting the pendulum knock me to the edge of the earth, I plead with God about what to do with the weight that presses hard in the middle of my chest, the alluring charm of the dreams that beckon me to make a dent in the world at the same time I fail to articulate exactly what they are.

Sometimes I don’t know exactly what it is I want, but it fairly makes my heart ache, I want it so. Mark Twain

"...We have to learn to chase the future while still being faithful to the present."

[God's] is the first sound of a million dreams. A million dreams that sway, wheat dancing in the wind, pulling and prodding us to become.

The Bible nudges us toward the risk of wanting in a world that slowly leaks with disappointment. It challenges us to hold fast to the doctrine of God's goodness when life, like a reckless child, stubbornly heads in the direction of the street.

"We are called to something deeper and more transforming than simply being better people. We're not moralists or deists or therapeutic do-gooders. We're followers..."

The Farm, where I can ingest long, sweeping breaths that fill my chest with air that is pure and clean, uncontaminated with the congestion of the suburbs, filled with the wings of fireflies, the pixie dust of milkweed, and the soft, fuzzy seeds of dandelions that dance with the evening breeze.