Malone Hanson > Recent Status Updates

“Of course I’ve read Anne Rice, I was a 15 year old closet case whose parents pretended not to notice when the family dog went missing” Bastilton Pitch, you are the most character ever, I love you so dearly

Yall are some hating ass bicthes, this book is funny as fuck!!

Not even 2 chapters in and she’s already playing in my face

ITS NAMED THAT BECAUSE OF THE QUEEN SONG???? I thought it was for the Kansas song😭😭

The mage lowkey gotta die I think

SPOILERS!!


Listen, as someone who’s done a lot of complaining about this book…. That was one of the best first kisses I’ve ever read, SORRY!!! Sorry Rainbow Rowell I was not aware of your game!

“His table manners were atrocious. It was like watching a wild dog eat. A wild dog you’d like to slip the tongue.” Baz, you are such a disgusting little pervert, thank GOD you are here!😭 this book was so fucking boring before you showed up bro🫂

Let it be known, this was my favourite chapter so far

Dude Acorn Hall is the best! And Lady Smallwood is so kind! I wish we could stay here forever!

Watching Wildwood lowkey made me miss ASOIAF so I’m back :P

Call me a hater but I feel like we’ve spent 230 pages of this book just kinda dicking around? Like I get why it’s taking place in their last year BUT like….. nothings HAPPENED? The book has just told me a bunch of stuff but really nothing has actually happened :/ I’m still enjoying it and still (mostly) enjoying the characters but truly it’s given me no reason to GAF about any of them😭😭

Everyone in this book is such a dick to each other, I’m lowk having a tough time rooting for them or their friendships :/

All this book does so far is complain about Baz and then have him not show up…… I’m promised a vampire, show me the damn vampire!!!

I got no DAMN clue what’s going on, but the book is talking to me as if I do and I can kinda get behind that🤔🙂‍↕️

There is no fucking way in this author didn’t thoroughly listen to the Magnus archives before writing this book…… that being said I’m having a gay old time!

HUGE fan of Lady Olenna omg

Hashtag give him casterly rock!!! Also I get that it’s medieval adjacent and they don’t know anything about science and stuff but oml any time one of those blonde headed fucks makes a comment about Tyrion “killing his mother” I get so pissed because like…. They GOTTA know it wasn’t his fault🙄

Jaime and Brienne….. the cogs in my head might just be turning….

Off the bat, Tova Sullivan, top characters of all time im so serious

Oh no! He’s fled the castle and we need him back in a short period of time! If only we had a bard who could magically relay a message to an entire kingdom….. and has done so in the recent past…… if only we had that…. Oh, hi Bethany!!

Holy shit he’s solving his problems with the power of doomed Yuri, hallelujah🙂‍↕️

I get that the whole point is to focus on the “ever after” part of this but I need to know more about what was going on before they killed the big bad

“What kind of backward misogynistic assault-y realm are we living in?!” Dawg you were living under a tyrant king for 40 years… obviously it hasn’t been sunshine and rainbows or you wouldn’t have decapitated him….

I’m sorry i genuinely cannot get over how large this font is, it’s tickling me so hard every time i open the book

Dude, Arek and his biblical greed, what do you mean we’re 4 pages in and you already wanna bang 2 of your friends, happy bisexual month I guess

Also this is a library book that I can’t annotate so I’m gonna be updating a lot more on here sorry

Off the bat, this font is crazy huge😭 like even for a teen novel, this is crazy fucking huge…. I appreciate it tho bc I’ll read it faster😏😏