Shamus McCarty > Recent Status Updates

MonstErection!!!
We need a few more submissions for the next edition of our "Strange Sex" series. Looking for anything from your standard monsterotica to totally bizarro sex stories. 2,000 - 4,000 words. Let me know if you're interested!

I got all drunk last night and made some fake MonstErection book covers. Here's my favorite.

The song lyrics kick in:
"When things get tough,
You gotta believe in yourself,
or you're just a big wimpy crying wet pussy"

"I wish burning things down wasn't against the law."

It's true.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Forks?

"Reading is Sexy" by Radek Gaj https://www.facebook.com/gajradek

He sees a box of free Styrofoam cups on the countertop.
When he sees the cups, he says, "Aw, shit ch'yeah. Free cups, son."

If "Chicken Soup for the Soul" used the word fuck a lot, I imagine it would be very similar to this book.

There was silence.
Neither of us did anything to interrupt it.
The silence spread between us, became the boss.

This book is amazing.

they had concluded that the game E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial would likely not have been incorporated into the mutant cartridge because that game is just so awful that the mega-cartridge would self-destruct...

Jimmie cannot even maintain a non-sexual erection given the circumstances.

and I won't jerk off to amateur porn anymore - you know the kind that's been stolen and where the women look embarrassed and the men look eager and the light is yellow and you can nearly smell the sin...

a tattoo artist who probably likes girl on girl porn.

I downloaded a makeover app on my phone. I'd fuck me. I'm just sayin...

And that's what he was: a wound that wanted to be wounded.

“You can’t go to the water no more,” Crick said, “It’s infested with them.”
[…] “Them what?” he asked.
[…] “… motherfucking sharks.”

M.c. O'Neill created this after being inspired by the “Baby Jesus Buttplug” backlash.

I’m very proud to announce the first signed contract for “Tall Tales with Short Cocks 4”. Writer for “Adult Swim”, Casper Kelly. Casper Kelly writes bizarre late-night television primarily for Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim on shows such as Squidbillies, Stroker & Hoop, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law, and others. https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...

Apparently you can do this today: "Take an extra 30% off any one (1) book offered by Amazon.com from now until December 1st. Enter code BOOKDEAL at checkout"

*Peeing next to a guy in a truck stop urinal.*
“Man, you could cut the sexual tension in this men’s room with a knife.”
*Guy pulls a knife.*
“Well… Not literally.”

So some college professor assigned "The Baby Jesus Butt Plug" to his class and people are FREAKING OUT about it. So it went viral. Way to spread the word about Bizarro Fiction ya conservative nut jobs! Keep up the good work cuz I'm poor! Read the comments at the end. http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/...

Come on, kid, let me show you the best fucking part about your new shitty job.