Alex Weller’s Reviews > The Calvin and Hobbes Portable Compendium Set 1 > Status Update

Calvin asks his dad to buy him a flamethrower, but Dad refuses, even though Calvin insists he won't use it in the house. Yeah, no, Calvin. Just ... no.

To boost their coolness, Calvin suggests he and Hobbes wear dark glasses. Hobbes has trouble seeing through the glasses and is worried he'll bump into things. But Calvin says they don't have to move. They just hang around and look cool. Interesting philosophy, Cal.

Mom wakes Calvin up in the morning, but Calvin isn't very motivated to wake up. And he doesn't seem to care for her incentive about the early bird getting the worm. Yeah, that's pretty gross, Mom.

Calvin and Hobbes find a decoder ring in Calvin's box of cereal. Calvin excitedly comments that they can send each other secret messages in code so that Mom and Dad won't be able to understand them ... not that they do anyway. Yeah, I guess you're right, Cal.

Calvin wants to show Susie a magic trick. First, he needs Susie to give him an ordinary quarter, and then he'll disappear. Susie isn't enthused and starts pounding Calvin, who reminds her that it was a TRICK. Yeah, not very nice, kid.

Calvin is disgusted by his family's dinner of salmon, which his parents are making him finish. He asks if he can eat it upstairs while he does his homework, which his parents allow. So he brings it upstairs for Hobbes to eat while doing Calvin's homework, and Hobbes is giving a bunch of nonsensical answers to subtraction problems. Welcome to F City, Calvin!

Calvin and Hobbes are playing war, with Calvin being the American Hero battling the communist Hobbes. The rules are that if you get hit with a dart, you're dead. But when the game begins, both get hit by each other's darts. Calvin decides that the game is stupid. Amen to that, Calvin.

Hobbes tries a taste of Calvin's new favorite cereal, Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs. Hobbes finds the cereal unbearably sweet, but Calvin says the cereal is bland until you scoop sugar on it. Jesus Christ, Calvin!

Calvin and Hobbes set up a tire swing ... with a tire from Dad's car. And Dad has to go to work. Yikes.

Calvin opens up a tollbooth at the garage, charging his dad a quarter to park the car. When Dad asks why he should do that, Calvin says he'll pull the garage door down over the hood as he drives in. And it looks like Calvin got punished for that. Sorry, kid!