Jonathan Orme’s Reviews > ESV Audio Bible, Read by Ray Ortlund > Status Update

Mark:

This book is perfect for my destroyed attention span because there is ZERO filler. Bam, important event, bam, important event, immediately, euthus euthus euthus! Could probably have just been bullet points.

Matthew:

Imagine being banished to the Shadow Realm for wearing khakis to a black tie wedding.

Malachi:

Esau just cannot catch a break! My goodness!

Zechariah:

What? I'm not a prophet. I'm a, uh, uh, a farmer! Yeah, a farmer. I farm. I don't even put honey on my locusts!

Haggai:

Call him Zerubbabling because he be a signet ring

Zephaniah:

Anyone who's watched the Owl House knows that a hoot comes before destruction.

Habakkuk:

"Stop making for yourself images of wood and gold. God is not there, they can do nothing for you!"

*one chapter later*

Choirmaster Ryan Seacrest: "Tonight, on Hebrew Idol..."

Nahum:

I guess Jonah eventually gets his wish.

Micah:

Finally found the George Washington retirement verse from Hamilton

Jonah:

The cows! Don't forget about the cows!