profiler #1 ’s Reviews > Dangerous Impulses > Status Update

“My arrogance is neither masculine nor feminine.
It simply is.”

“Where’s Michael?”
‘Lia smirked’
“Ho ho ho.”

Michael duct taped under the tree😭😭

“The abs,”’Michael replied seriously.’”They want to BREATHE.”

LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE MICHAEL TOWNSEND

Did I mention he’s also very drunk?

Michael Townsend doing the splits
with reindeer antlers on
while singing Mariah Carey
was NOT on my 2026 bingo card.

Where did Judd go??????????????????

“She loved Laurel as fiercely as she hated Olive Garden— which to say, with every fiber of her soul.”

NONNAAAAAAAA MY DIVA

OH MY GODDDD