Bella Kidson’s Reviews > Love Is for Losers > Status Update

‘I'm 98 per cent sure that Pat opposes homosexuality, because she kept looking at me like: You corrupted the lovely Emma. But in reality, it was Emma who corrupted me with her beautiful eyes and lips, and class, and funniness. But whatever, Pat.’

‘I got the giggles, because if you'd told me I'd ever end up in a bashed-up Mazda with Kate, Emma and Pat on a Saturday night, taking a kitten to an old guy's home in Putney so that he could have a reason to live, I would have told you you’re totally crazy.’

‘P.S. Richard had his balls twisted off today, and he seems depressed about it. What have I done?’

‘I'm very clever, but I'm also clumsy AF, and I think I fell in love with Emma the way I often fall when I trip over my own teet.’

‘Here's what GCSEs have taught me above all else: I hate people.’

‘P.P.S. I just tried googling How many dead, unburied people are currently on Earth? But Google doesn't know, which is confusing, because Google knows everything.’

‘I've got a crush on Emma.’ Yeah, no shit

‘I took a picture of my bruise and sent it to Emma.
She wrote back: Tease.’ - 👀

‘Me: I don't mean you, BTW. I don't hate you.
Emma: Thanks. It's good to be tolerated.
Me: OMG, whatever. You know I think you're great.
Emma: And how would I know that?
Me: Why else would I want to spend time with you, and message you, and take kitten pictures, and walk you home, and show you my bruise?
Emma: Why indeed . . .’ - GAY

‘Pat was like: You look just like me when I was young.
Whatever, Pat you were never young.’