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“The Dictionary defines Soul Mate as: A person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament. Before I met mine, I didn't know I was bonkers!”
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“I have tried to live my life with no regrets. Because regrets will become guilt in some cases, and guilt eats away at your sanity.”
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“The first thing people hear or see on the internet is the first thing they believe. No matter what the truth is.”
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“Have no regrets in life because of the choices you make. Good or bad, they are a learning experience, to help you grow. The only regret in life, is to never make a choice at all.”
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“Does love make the world go around? Well yes. But whiskey makes it go around twice as fast.”
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“Remember, the best present to give, is being there for your loved ones.”
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“Remember, the best presents anyone can give, is being there for their loved ones.”
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“When all else fails, there is music. When that fails you, there is beer.”
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“I try to pray everyday or every night to thank my Personal Lord for all that he has given me, all that he is giving me, and all that he will give me.”
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“I have heard that the French like to say, "Nobody grows old during a happy occasion at the dining table." With such wonderful family and friends all around us for Mitchell's and Stacie's wedding, I know their love will always stay young and true to one another, because of the love and happiness we all have in this room today!”
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“Life experiences shared with a friend will turn into memories to be enjoyed.”
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“Who is watching the Watchers?”
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“The reason I might forget something is because my mind is like a computer. I have so much useless stuff stored up in there, that when I forget to clean out my Mind's Cache, it has no room for new information. Like wearing pants!”
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“Me, personally. I do not know a soul who perished that day of 9/11. But it did then, does now, and I imagine it always will bring out the Patriot in me.”
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“I loved Verti. Until she jumped. That is when I felt Vertigo.”
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“Have a Happy, Healthy, and Wealthy New Year”
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“You see, love is not a straight line. A continuous fairy tale of bliss throughout your life. It's like waves on the ocean. Your love can easily survive the small or medium size swells but when a hurricane hits, that is the true test of your love and your partner's love, for each other.”
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“Sitting there, it is impossible to change your luck. But, you can always change the machine you are at!”
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“If you think that American Capitalism is the most dangerous Institution in the World, it just goes to show, that you haven't partied like there is no tomorrow with the fun loving posse of The Islamic Republic of Iran, North Korea, The Taliban, or ISIS. They all party off the hook!”
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“Be careful when you ask Karma for something that you have always wanted. When I was young, I asked to be surrounded by beautiful women. Now I have a wife and four daughters.”
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“Before you start your full day of watching Equestrian Square Dancing, Soccer Balling, Hoop Dreaming, Cricket Batting, Rugby Punching, Volleyball Chopping, Skateboard Falling, Martial Arts Bowing, Bicycle Peddlers, and College Football Hecklers, maybe we have time to learn something
Scientifically.”
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Scientifically.”
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“A life that is happy and has no money, is better then a life unhappy with money.”
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“When I lived in a small town, the whole town got together to help my family when tragedy struck our home. Now in a big city, my neighbor one block down doesn't know who I am.”
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“My Parents couldn't get me to stop drinking. The Police couldn't get me to stop drinking. The Courts couldn't get me to stop drinking. The threat of losing my job couldn't get me to stop drinking. My Wife couldn't get me to stop drinking. But when my eldest daughter was 5 years old and said, "Daddy, we don't like you when you drink!" That is when I stopped!”
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“I still believe this Life is a good joke. And if you treat it that way, you will never stop laughing.”
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“During a crisis you will find there are 3 types of people.
First, there are people who will who will say,
"I don't care what happens to other people as long as it doesn't affect me."
Second, there are are people who will think,
"How can I rip people off and make money off of this?"
Third, there are people who will ask,
"How can I help?”
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First, there are people who will who will say,
"I don't care what happens to other people as long as it doesn't affect me."
Second, there are are people who will think,
"How can I rip people off and make money off of this?"
Third, there are people who will ask,
"How can I help?”
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“Until the heart can see the future of the person you fall in love with, love will always be blind”
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“Department stores have come out with a new size for their clothing line that fits me perfectly. The label reads, XXL-LOL!”
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“I was asked by a friend of mine if I knew anything about capitalism. I said sure. The first letter of the first word of any sentence is capitalized!”
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“Whatever tragedy is happening around you and you are told why nothing can be done to fix it, look to see who is profiting from it and you will have your answer why!”
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