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Shamus McCarty

“When approaching a prospective human, first ask them what their name is.

* If it replies "Brains," blow its fucking head off.
* If it replies "Brian," ask it again, as you may have encountered a zombie with a speech impediment, or a zombie that was mildly retarded in life.
* Keep in mind that it is entirely possible that you did encounter a human named "Brian.”

Etienne Guerin DeForest, The Zombie Survival Guide: How to Live Like a King After the Outbreak
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