Mariketa

“My fore-parts, as you so ineloquently put it, have names." I pointed to my right breast. "This is Danger." Then my left. "And this is Will Robinson. I would appreciate it if you addressed them accordingly."

After a long pause in which he took the time to blink several times, he asked, "You named your breasts?"

I turned my back to him with a shrug. "I named my ovaries, too, but they don't get out as much...”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“Oh, yeah, this girl was going down. She had no idea who she was messing with. And, sadly, she didn’t seem to care.
I hoped her drawer came up short at the end of her shift. Karma’s a bitch.”
― Darynda Jones, Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet

“The dead guy looked at me with wide eyes. “I can’t move my legs.”
I snorted. “You can’t move your arms either, or your feet or your freaking eyelids. You’re dead.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“I could’ve knocked the shit out of her .She’d have good reason to roll her eyes then. But knocking the shit out of rude people wasn’t my style. Heckling them every chance I got was.
Hopefully she’d screw up soon. I didn’t have all day.”
― Darynda Jones, Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet