Naomi Beeman

“there’s nothing that threatens a bully’s delicate virility so much as the honest passions of other men”
― Josiah Bancroft, The Hod King

“From somewhere above me, there was an irritated hiss. ‘Food.’
I strained my head upwards. ‘Hi, Brutus.’
His yellow eyes stared down at me, unblinking. ‘Food, bitch.’
I sighed. ‘I’ve told you time and time again. If you call me that, I’m not going to feed you.’
‘Food.’
‘Give me a minute.’
‘Food.’
‘I’d like the chance to get a cup of tea first.’
‘Food.’
‘Piss off.’
‘Food.”
― Helen Harper, Slouch Witch

“An earnest failure is superior to immaculate potential.”
― Josiah Bancroft, The Hod King

“For the record, I would like to state that never in the history of humankind has a woman been told to calm down and then calmed down. We don't like that”
― Chelsea Handler, Life Will Be the Death of Me: . . . and you too!