Cherie Phillips

“Your monkey was looking under the stall doors in the ladies' room,' I told Diesel.
'That's my boy,' Diesel said.”
― Janet Evanovich, Plum Spooky

“You deserve better. You deserve to be adored, and you deserved to be fucked until you can’t stand up.”
― Kitty French, Knight & Play

“My mother came into the kitchen. "Whose car is that parked in front of our house?"

"That's Stephanie's new car," Grandma said. "Isn't it a pip?"

One of my mother's eyebrows raised in question. "Two new cars? Where are these cars coming from?"

"Company cars," I said.

"Oh?"

"Anal sex is not involved," I told her.

My mother and grandmother both gasped.

"Sorry," I said. "It just slipped out."

"I thought only homosexual men did anal sex," Grandma said.

"Anybody with an anus can do it," I told her.

"Hmm," she said. "I got one of them.”
― janet evanovich, High Five

“He’s sort of a homeless horse,” I said.
“I’m leaving for the airport in two seconds, and I won’t be back for a couple days. You can put the horse in the garage, but I don’t want that horse in my apartment.”
“Who would put a horse in an apartment? That’s dumb.”
“Where’s the horse staying now?”
“My apartment.”
“I can always count on you to brighten my day,” Ranger said. And he disconnected.”
― Janet Evanovich, Plum Lucky