Mike Bryant

“By the power of lost retainers and Jamaica and bad cornrows and fireflies and Madonna, by all these things I rebuke you.”
― Grady Hendrix, My Best Friend's Exorcism

“​As the drought rolls on, the city has taken to hiking up water prices. I’m doing the best I can, but I’m simply not capable of proving the water these plants crave. Even if I could, I’m faced with the ethical dilemma of how much I should be using at a time like this.”
― Chuck Tingle, Bisexual Clouds Eat My Ass