Alyssa > Recent Status Updates

For Rosie’s birthday one year when I was… six? Seven?

THIS HAS GOT BE ON PURPOSEEEE

I blinked, frantically trying to make
out the name and jersey number with her arm in the way.
Sixty-seven.

SIX SEVEENNN HYAHAYAHAYAAA

i’m such a fat fucking chud

“Noted. I’ll pick up a bottle of lotion for you while I’m at the store.”
HAHAHAHHA

“But you do think about me.”
“Sure. Sometimes. My old landlord had a Norwegian troll statue
perched outside of her unit that reminded me of you.”

LMFAO

I’m crying this whole time I thought her nickname was LICE like the BUG IN YOUR HAIR but it’s pronounces liss??? I’m guessing??? Bc if her nickname is mf lice Imm done bro

I’M CRYING I LOVE HOW THE MMCS ATTEMPT TO SHOW AFFEVTION IS JUST TO SPOIL THE FUCKINY CAT WITH MONEY

Sixty-seven failed matches. Sixty-seven.

SIX SEVENN???? HYAHYAHYAHH
I’m such a fat fuckin chud.

Ok I’m reading this cuz I read the first one and I somehow verbally chuckled at a lot of the jokes and I enjoy Kyra’s writing style cuz it’s very easy on the eyes so ima try the secondbook in the series #lovemesomeenemiestolovers

WHY IS BLUD MINDFUL TO THE MF CAT I’M SOBBING

Am I supposed to be like oh my gawddd he’s so attractive bc he dowsn’t use his private jett because of global warming UwU WHAT KIND OF SHAMELESS #advocation IS THIS

I swear if I had to read one more thing about how gorgeous his stupid dimples were, I was going to tie him down and fill them in. I’M sobBING

Booking an emergency rhinoplasty consultation, obviously STOOOPPP

Why don’t you measure the diameter of my nostrils and the angle my
head is leaning at, jackass.
BRO I ACTUALLY LOVE HER SM

I LIVE RIA SHE’S SO FUCKING FUNNY

The man’s got a stick so far up his ass
that it’s stabbed clean through the part of his brain that’s responsible for
keeping his ego in check. HAHAHAHA

That’s like slapping a floppy dildo onto a donkey’s forehead and calling it a unicorn I’M SOBBING

“He’s gonna make u pluck 700 million hairs for 700 million dollars” LMFAOOO I ACTUALLY VERBALLY LAUGHED

Ty st was kinda hummy ngl

I’M FRUING SHE’S CALLING HIM A GOON

Wait I aftually fuck w her heavy she’s so funny and WHO DOES ADRIEN THINK HE IS BRO POOR GIRL WAS LOCKED IN UR DAMN OFFICE FOR 2 HOURS WITH A DEAD PHONE SHE JUST WANTED A CHATGER💔

She’s really quirky but I lowkirkenuinely dig it ngl

ok mb she was drunk and it might’ve not even been him

Bro not even 3 fucking pages and I already hate the mmc I LITERALLY HAVEN’T EVEN MET HIM AND HE ALREADY SEXUALLY ASSAULTED THE FMC like man can we just have some normal love interests bro

Ok so I’m gonna read this book cuz I got it on my tik tok and I coild use some braindead ceo workplace romajce rn but after reading the goodreads desc I am so afraid for what I’m going to read

What am I even reading THEY’VE BEEN HERE FOR 1 GOD DAMN DAY WHAT,,,,???

ARE RHEY BULLYING THEM WTF????? THESE R THE “LOVE INTERESTS”???? K BUD

“Looks like my boyfriend has competition” LET ME GUESS THUS IS THE FUCKING STUPID AHHH LOVE INTEREST WHO IS NONCHALANT AND SHIT

“You hold every Element”

K buddy sure

Natsu and I lidorly predicted this like 500 pages in advance buddy

“Okay this is going from weird to mental asylum real fast.”
Me

HWY IS THERE A LIGMA BALLS JOKE IN THIS BOOK