Ivy Keating's Blog

Motivation is a powerful energy. It's a force that keeps us moving toward our goal. But what happens when major obstacles get in our way? If we're determined, we may be able to push through, however quite often we abandon our dreams. The following are 3 ways to keep motivated when things do not go as planned.

The first is to be prepared. Things often do not go smoothly. Think ahead about what you will do when something stands in your way. Finding a publisher when you're a new author is very difficult and filled with rejection. I thought to myself for every rejection I receive, I will find 2 new publishers or agents to send my work to. This helped me stay focused and motivated to constantly learn about the industry. It also gave me a concrete behavior to keep my goal alive.

The next trick to staying motivated is to take a step-by-step approach. If your goal is to write a fantasy novel and the first 20 pages took you several weeks to write, it could be easy to get overwhelmed knowing you have 200 more to go. Instead, focus on making the next 10 pages the best they can be.

The last tip is one that's often overlooked. To stay motivated, one must manage the negative feelings associated with setbacks. An easy way to lose incentive is by not coping with the negative impact of feeling pressured or defeated. To combat these emotions, consider what about the situation is still in your control. For example, I cannot make my dream agent want to represent me, but I can search for other qualified representatives that I would be proud to work with. Remember you have choices. There are many paths to success. Focus on what you can do. This will generate the needed energy to stay motivated.

Staying motivated to reach your dreams is not always easy. The strategies above can
help you stay focused and create enough positive energy to help you succeed.

When trying to reach our goals, it's important to maintain a certain "level of activity." But what does this mean?

The "level of activity" refers to 1) researching the necessary steps to accomplish our dreams, and 2) carrying them out. This is easier said then done, in fact, it's likely that this is one of the key reasons so many people abandon their desires. The difficulty comes when we feel overwhelmed by where we are today and how far we have to go. The space between where we are today and what we want to accomplish is often filled with unknowns. If insecurity and fear creeps in, we may put our goals on hold. To stop this from happening it's wise to engage in small manageable activities that move us in the right direction. Once this momentum is started,it propels us toward where we want to be.

Let's say your goal is to join a book club, but you're shy about meeting knew people. An initial step could be to research the clubs in your area. If you're not ready to meet with a group in person, perhaps online is best. Remember-the level of activity refers to discovering a number of available clubs. This will give you some nice options. If days go by and you haven't even done an Internet search, your level of activity is quite low, and your goal will remain aloof. Next, choose your club and look into becoming a member. Maybe you've chosen a club with many members where you can listen-in, or perhaps a small group is best. At this point your level of activity refers to spending time to think about which specific group you will enjoy the most. By now, your goal should be familiar to you and you're equipped with the information needed to join.

Goals can be hard to achieve. The more active you are in working toward them, the more you'll replace the fears that derail them with the security of knowledge. Increase your level of activity, and enjoy your success.

Last week, I felt overwhelmed. I was starting a new job, had household and family responsibilities, my LCSW exam was on Wednesday, and how was I going to fit in writing? The more I thought about everything, the more anxious I felt. Two things helped reduce my anxiety: box breathing and listing my priorities.

Box breathing is a fantastic mindfulness exercise. It's done by breathing in for 4 seconds, holding your breath for 4 seconds, letting the air out for 4 seconds, and then waiting 4 seconds before you do it all again. As you repeat this pattern, be sure to have your stomach expand when you take in your breath. Not only will this exercise give you the calm that comes with being in the moment, but it will also slow your breath and help you relax.

Establishing priorities for the week was key. The LCSW exam was at the top of the list. To pass, I would have to study about 6 hours every day. Clients from my new job would be scheduled for the following week, household chores were on hold, Sunday's family dinner was delegated to another family member, and writing would have to wait until after the exam. Once I decided on my priorities and a time limit for getting them done, I felt in control and less overwhelmed.

When you feel like the demands of your schedule are bearing down on you, change the negative energy into a positive, take charge attitude. Find a calming technique such as box breathing, and make a list of your priorities. This will allow you to manage your stress so you can focus on reaching your goals.

A major cause of anxiety is feeling out of control. In psychology this relates to the concept of, 'locus of control' or what effect you believe you have on things. If you believe what you do matters, you have a stronger internal locus of control. If you believe things are out of your control, then you have a stronger external locus of control. How can this knowledge help us relax?

For every situation there are always things in our control Finding an agent or publisher for a book you've written can be very stressful. An author may think it's completely out of their control if their novel is chosen. To a degree they are right. But lets take a moment to think about some of the things this writer can still have control over. Here's a list; what agencies they contact, how many queries are sent, will they continue to edit in the meantime, and should they start their next book.

The idea that we have control over what we do, and that our choices impact our emotions and the outcomes of things, can bring relief to feeling subjected to the whims of outside forces. How we handle stress is also within our power. Do we sit with worry, or can we find ways to feel better during stressful times? There are wonderful grounding activities, breathing exercises, and distraction techniques to help us through difficult moments until we're in a stronger position to tackle a problem.

So if you're finding your anxiety soar, remember to give a boost to your internal locus of control. The more you take charge of your goals, the better you will feel. An added benefit-taking charge will lead to greater success.

Writing a novel, authors are mindful to 'show' what a character is experiencing versus 'tell'. But, why is this strategy critical when it comes to feelings? Showing helps the author create characters with depth, and we're more apt to love the players we can relate to - whether they're good or evil.

How a character responds to events will enhance their development by giving us clues to their emotions. One of my favorite scenes in 'Sarana and the Dark King' is when Sarana, on the eve before battle, literally lets her hair down in front of Cabe. This simple act lets the reader know something inside her is changing. It's a moment when her inner strength triumphs over vulnerability. If I simply wrote, "Sarana felt empowered," the reader would be deprived of the vision of her going from weighted-in-fabric to exposed and free. We gain insight into her emotions, and we can contemplate our own.

Take a moment and think about how your favorite hero or villain copes with the world around them. Note that, even if your character is in a Science-Fiction world, it's their feelings that you can consistently relate to. In 'Camouflage' I can assume no reader has ever been chased by a deadly, prehistoric creature; however, "showing" description can cause a reader to clench their jaw or widen their eyes. We can experience joy, love, hatred or terror, from a safe distance. When you reflect on a story, and think about your favorite scene, it's often your emotional reaction that heightens its significance.

The author that writes their story by "showing" rather than "telling" will give readers greater insight into their character's feelings. The impact on our own emotions is what transcends a novel from good to heart-pounding fantastic!

Earth Day is a celebration of our planet and what we can do to protect it. Often, when we think of the environment, we think about tangible resources, like water supply and air quality. But, nature is also one of the best resources at our disposal for our mental health!

Years ago, as summer turned to fall, I found myself appreciating the beautiful forests around my home. I started to wonder what was out there that we haven't discovered, and this is when I started writing my science-fiction novel, 'Camouflage'. 'Camouflage' is a Sci-Fi-Mystery-Thriller, but it's also a love story to the New England landscape. The more I looked at the scenery, the more I appreciated its beauty. I realized the mindful moments I spent strolling Quarry Head Park, in the name of research, were enjoyable for numerous reasons. The deep woods gave me a fright! I wondered, "what unknown creatures were lurking in it?" Sitting on the wood bench and catching a glimpse of Long Island sound was breathtaking. The breeze on my skin was cool enough to invigorate, yet I felt calm and grounded. Colorful flowers, trees, and precious wildlife, piqued all my senses.

So, this Earth Day, take a mindful moment outdoors. Watch the birds, stroll through a park, listen to a babbling brook, or find inspiration for a novel about prehistoric creatures! When we recognize all the environment gives us, it's easy to look for ways to return the favor.

Writing is a fantastic way to let your imagination go wild! But, for authors, there's a clinical side to it when it comes to editing your work. In life, it is often helpful to observe a situation without judgement and then proceed mindfully. This means to act on the facts in a thoughtful way. As an author weaves their fiction, they too must become a mindful observer. Difficult choices about what stays and what's edited out must be made.

When creating a novel, remember to stay true to your characters throughout the story. If you're building a cowardly person, you must put them in situations where they act afraid. Never assume a reader will know what's in your head. Always provide enough details for scenes to make sense. And, never write something out of context just because it sounds good. A player will not be shivering in the cold if the scene is set on a balmy day. This seems straightforward, but in the passion of writing it's amazing what might flow through. Just like in life, when emotions run high, we can easily say things out of context.

If you're writing for fun, let your imagination go everywhere. If you're writing for publication, take a critical look at what you've put down and be certain characters are accurately developed and behaviors are congruent with personalities and surroundings. When you learn to edit out passages you once loved, be proud you can take the criticism.

Writers can let their imagination run wild, especially when writing fantasy or science fiction. A key to the success of these genres is the author's ability to arouse the curiosity in readers, while seamlessly immersing them in a made-up world.

One of the most important skills I discovered while writing a science fiction and a fantasy is the need to express myself clearly. Not every prehistoric creature has four legs—some slither like snakes, and others fly. It's amazing how easy it is to take for granted that someone knows what you're talking about just because you have a clear vision of it. In everyday life, poor communication leads to misunderstandings. In a novel, ambiguity leads to distraction from the story.

This spring, let your imagination go wild. Step outside and daydream, or relax with a good book. Maybe even try writing. It doesn't have to be a novel; a few sentences about your day, or what super power you wish you had can be most enjoyable. And remember, if you're writing for yourself just go with it. But if you're writing to share with others, clarity is key!

Why is it so hard to find an agent or a publisher? I think one of the reasons is because writing is thought of as an independent undertaking. Yes, when I wrote my last book, I did spend most of my time... alone... writing. But, the process of putting ones thoughts down on paper (or word doc.) is just one part of it. Here are some other key steps to becoming published:

I can't say enough about editing and what I'll call, “basic rules for writing a book.” They include no head hopping, don't repeat words, show vs. tell, and no intensifiers like "very" and "really." There's also marketing. An author has to put together a list of agents and publishers that are open to queries and are interested in their genre. This requires research.

So, why did I title this blog, Writing with 'Flaws'? I wanted to point out that it's unlikely that anyone is an expert on everything above. Your story telling may be great, but you need help editing, or your writing is grammatically perfect, but the action in your story starts way to late. Being able to pick out what you need help with is key to improving your work. The best advice I can give any writer is to open yourself up to criticism. Seek out anyone that will tell you the truth. This is usually not family members and friends. They are more likely to point out what they like, as a means of encouragement. If you're lucky enough to find your "flaws," seek help from professionals in the field. Keep working on your novel, and don't give up.

Finding an agent or publisher is not easy, but it is doable. Always submit your best work. Be open to suggestions along the way. Writing your story is often a solitary experience, but getting published can be a team sport.

If you told someone during the holiday season that you just read a blog titled, "Pause," they may think it had something to do with reindeer. But, just as important as Rudolf's red nose, a "pause" before we act can be just as valuable.

Our gut reactions are genuine. They should always be validated. If you feel hurt by what someone said, or joyous after an achievement, it's important to recognize how things affect you. Unfortunately, acting on an impulse can cause problems. An obvious reason it can be problematic is because it doesn't give us time to think. This is why a "pause" can be beneficial.

Take for example, a holiday dinner. You're with your family and someone says something that upsets you. What if, instead of responding, you paused? With a couple seconds of thought there are several techniques you could try to avoid a conflict. For example, you could take a deep breath and give your response in a calm, gentle tone as opposed to the agitated voice we often use when something bothers us. In that same pause, one could also cognitively reframe a hurtful comment, choose to believe the person cares, or acknowledge the person is taking interest in you. A pause can help stop you from saying something you might regret later. It gives you the opportunity to stay in control and proceed with a reply that you can feel good about.

Pauses are great for de-escalating a confrontation. They're also great for emphasizing something wonderful. Taking a moment shows the other person you are not only listening, but you're also thinking about what they said. This is very validating.

So, this holiday season, take a moment. Find ways to keep conversations pleasant, pause to de-escalate the bad, and take time to acknowledge the good.

I wish you all a very happy and healthy holiday season!