Hilarious Situations Quotes

“The room they had reached served as an impromptu drug-lounge in which a hundred naked addicts engaged in communal sex. One of them drew nearer and spontaneously relieved himself all over Aurora’s shoes.

‘You’re welcome,’ the addict said proudly, buttoning up his soiled jeans and walking away like a champ.

A nearby woman saw the whole thing and smirked. ‘You’re one lucky lady, you know that?’ she smiled toothlessly. The remnants of today’s orgy were still visible in her mouth. ‘I wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire.”
― Louise Blackwick, 5 Stars

“Sorano returned a half-hearted nod and mumbled on, dreamily.

She seemed completely fascinated by a man in a rabbit costume who kept falling flat on his face whilst endlessly repeating the phrase “How dare they speak the word “motherboard” when the Neon God has no mother?” in a very affronted tone. He was accompanied by swarthy-faced dame, who aimlessly dragged a red piece of string after her.

‘Why are you dragging that string, hey?’ the rabbit-man asked the woman right before taking a spectacular nosedive, face-first into asphalt.

‘But I must drag it, I must!’ the woman replied panicky, ‘for if I try to push it, it bends.”
― Louise Blackwick, 5 Stars

“They traversed the lounge, side-stepping the occasional onanist and paying no heed to the slack-jawed, giggling addicts. A few feet away, a young woman had put her tattooed posterior on display. Aurora noticed her tattoos were dynamic, changing like a slideshow each time her bottom was slapped.”
― Louise Blackwick, 5 Stars

“St. Vincent took in the curious tableau before him . . . the clusters of bewildered onlookers, the affronted ‌innkeeper . . . and the Earl of Westcliff, who stared at him with avid bloodlust.

The entire inn fell silent during that chilling moment, so that Westcliff’s quiet snarl was clearly audible. “By God, I’m going to butcher you.”
― It Happened One Autumn: The Wallflowers by Lisa Kleypas

“She looked down when she laughed that time. Something about the shy aversion of her eyes and the sound of her laugh was making me...feel...something. But my brain kept confusing whatever overwhelming feeling this was with a desire to squish her, as if I could find an outlet for this annoying emotion by just taking her face in my hands and squeezing. I managed to resist.”
― Harley LaRoux, Her Soul to Take