Stephanie Lahart's Blog - Posts Tagged "children"

Isn’t it amazing how all of us are born as innocent little children? Babies are beautiful little bundles of joy. As adults, we enjoy watching them grow and learn different things like: learning how to crawl, taking their first steps, holding their bottle for the first time, feeding themselves, and all the other things that bring a big smile to our faces.

As we grow up, things and people help shape and mold us into the people that we become. Sometimes in our lives, we become a victim of something that nobody should ever have to endure or experience.

I’m talking about being violated. Many people have experienced some kind of violation in their lives. It’s a subject that nobody likes to discuss because of the shame. Let’s get one thing straight! Don’t blame yourself for what happened to you. You were taken advantage of by somebody who knew better, and they had no right to do what they did, period!

So many people go through life living with the shame of what happened to them. It’s not fair to you that you have to live life with emotional and mental scars. In some severe cases, people have physical scars depending on what took place. People deal with what happened in many ways. Some choose to suppress it and act as if it never happened because they don’t want to face the fact that something like that happened to them.

Here are some other things that someone may go through: having a tough time in relationships, serious intimacy issues, lack of trust, little-to-no confidence in their self, resentments, anger issues, emotional damage, self-destructive behavior, etc.

You were robbed of your innocence. Some people are open about what happened, but there are still a large percentage of people who never discuss it. Molestation and rape is absolutely NOT your fault.

You don’t have anything to be ashamed of. Remember, YOU were taken advantage of. Don’t allow anybody to make you feel like you caused this or that you brought this on yourself. That’s pure nonsense!

If you haven’t talked about it or dealt with it, please get help. It’s not fair that you have to keep this inside of you and not get it out. If you’re not a huge fan of counseling, talk to somebody that you can confide in and completely trust.

My prayer is to see you get set free. Free from all of the shame, hurt, and pain. You’re not alone. This happens to more people than you think. It’s not right, it’s WRONG, and it has to stop.

If you have kids, make sure that you talk to them, and if they ever come to you, make sure you listen and believe them. Molestation and rape doesn’t just happen with strangers. Many families have ill-minded people that hurt their family members too. Don’t be in denial, be aware.

I pray right now in the name of Jesus, that God will heal your every wound and give you peace.

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An unbreakable bond is what we share
Our love is genuine and rare
Beautiful memories of you and I
Laughing, smiling and joking
Unafraid to be ourselves
We are mother and daughter

Openly talk about whatever is on our mind
We fully trust one another with our deepest thoughts
We are best friends
How awesome is that?!
Never have to pretend
We can just be ourselves

We love each other unconditionally
Occasional attitude
Moody ways
And those not so good days,
Will never change the way we feel
Our love is one of a kind

We don’t always see eye to eye
But we communicate to make things right
Never stay upset with one another for too long
For our love is much too strong
Togetherness
An undeniable bond

You are my daughter and I am your mother
Always there for one another
Fully supporting and encouraging each other’s dreams
Uplifting, never discouraging
We are each other’s biggest fans
We are one

Kiss and hug each other on a daily basis
Show each other love and appreciation
I’ m an image of you and you’re an image of me
We are very special to one another
Mother and daughter is what we are
We Are Each Other’s Heartbeat!


– Written by Author Stephanie Lahart


* I was inspired to write this poem about me and my daughter's relationship. I hope you enjoy reading it! :)

“It’s so easy and convenient to buy our children gifts, but I encourage and challenge you to give them gifts that TRULY matter! The gift of unconditional love. The gift of encouragement. The gift of support. The gift of friendship. The gift of communication,understanding, and patience. The gift of guidance and support. The gift of quality time. And the gift of loving them for who THEY are. Material things are nice, but NOTHING compares to genuine love! Parenting should be taken seriously.”

– Author Stephanie Lahart

This article was written to give parents some real food-for-thought about staying in their unhealthy relationship for the sake of the kids. It's an eye-opener as to how kids can be affected negatively because the parents choose to stay together although they're clearly unhappily married. Sometimes, we as parents, think that we're making the best choices for our children, but in actuality, we're doing more damage than good. This article is honest and truthful. We have an obligation to do right by our children. Right?

I hear a lot of people say that they're staying in an unhappy relationship for the sake of the kids. Both parents clearly don't get along anymore and they both want to get out of the relationship.

This is where you have to ask yourself some tough questions: Is arguing and bickering in front of the kids all of the time healthy? Is it fair to the kids that they have to live in a home where we don't speak respectfully to one another? Is it fair that the kids have to witness abuse? Remember, abuse is not just physical. Is it fair that the kids hear us argue over finances all of the time? Is it fair to pretend that we're happy when they know that we're not? What kind of message are you sending to them?

When you're in a relationship and you're both willing to work things out, like going to counseling or getting outside help from the church or whatever your choice may be, that's one thing. But when you both know in your hearts that it's over, it would be wise for both of you to be mature, make arrangements, and move on for the sake of the kids.

What good is it to stay for the kids if all they see is unhealthy behavior from their mom and dad? It's just not fair to them. It's important to know this: When children witness this kind of behavior regularly, they can easily become scared, confused, angry, and feel isolated. Bringing kids up in an environment that's unhealthy can also cause them to be mentally unstable. If your kids are old enough to understand, it can affect how they act in school and the relationships that they build with others.

I know that walking away from a relationship when you have kids can be a very difficult choice to make, but think about the kids. They don't deserve this. If they can't have their mom and dad behave like loving adults as it should be, then what good is staying? You're main goal should be raising happy, healthy, and good-natured children. Living in a negative environment will soon rub off on them. Kids can feel when something's not right. Kids know how to get attention whether it is in a negative or positive way. They'll act out in ways that aren't normal because they're seeking attention. They'll start getting into trouble or hurting themselves simply because they don't quite understand what's going on. Most kids will begin to think that they're at fault.

You say that you're staying for the kids, but ask yourself, is it truly worth it? Seriously think it through.

Stephanie Lahart is an Author, Poet, Teen Motivational Speaker, and a Teen Mentor. She also has 2 successful online stores: TshirtsbyLahart and InspirationbyLahart. Want to connect with and/or learn more about Stephanie Lahart? Feel free to visit her website. https://about.me/stephanie.lahart