Stephanie Lahart's Blog - Posts Tagged "teens"

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Isn’t it amazing how all of us are born as innocent little children? Babies are beautiful little bundles of joy. As adults, we enjoy watching them grow and learn different things like: learning how to crawl, taking their first steps, holding their bottle for the first time, feeding themselves, and all the other things that bring a big smile to our faces.

As we grow up, things and people help shape and mold us into the people that we become. Sometimes in our lives, we become a victim of something that nobody should ever have to endure or experience.

I’m talking about being violated. Many people have experienced some kind of violation in their lives. It’s a subject that nobody likes to discuss because of the shame. Let’s get one thing straight! Don’t blame yourself for what happened to you. You were taken advantage of by somebody who knew better, and they had no right to do what they did, period!

So many people go through life living with the shame of what happened to them. It’s not fair to you that you have to live life with emotional and mental scars. In some severe cases, people have physical scars depending on what took place. People deal with what happened in many ways. Some choose to suppress it and act as if it never happened because they don’t want to face the fact that something like that happened to them.

Here are some other things that someone may go through: having a tough time in relationships, serious intimacy issues, lack of trust, little-to-no confidence in their self, resentments, anger issues, emotional damage, self-destructive behavior, etc.

You were robbed of your innocence. Some people are open about what happened, but there are still a large percentage of people who never discuss it. Molestation and rape is absolutely NOT your fault.

You don’t have anything to be ashamed of. Remember, YOU were taken advantage of. Don’t allow anybody to make you feel like you caused this or that you brought this on yourself. That’s pure nonsense!

If you haven’t talked about it or dealt with it, please get help. It’s not fair that you have to keep this inside of you and not get it out. If you’re not a huge fan of counseling, talk to somebody that you can confide in and completely trust.

My prayer is to see you get set free. Free from all of the shame, hurt, and pain. You’re not alone. This happens to more people than you think. It’s not right, it’s WRONG, and it has to stop.

If you have kids, make sure that you talk to them, and if they ever come to you, make sure you listen and believe them. Molestation and rape doesn’t just happen with strangers. Many families have ill-minded people that hurt their family members too. Don’t be in denial, be aware.

I pray right now in the name of Jesus, that God will heal your every wound and give you peace.

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I want you to take a close look at your life. Do you find yourself rushing all of the time?

Well, Think about THIS: We go about living our lives on a daily basis, and we have what we call a “to-do list.” We have to do grocery shopping, stop by the cleaners, pick our children up from day care/school, wash the car, walk and feed the pets, go by the bank. And the list goes on and on.

Every day we do what would be considered “the norm.” We get SO busy that sometimes we forget to slow down and appreciate life as it should be. Don’t get me wrong, all of these things that we do are important, but it’s also equally important to find a good balance with everything else in our lives. Learn to relax. Don’t be in a rush. Take your time, and remember to value the things that are truly important. Many people don’t realize just how valuable life is until something tragic happens. I’m going to give you an eye-opening example of what I’m talking about.

Do you take the time to hug and/or kiss your loved ones every day? Do you take the time to cook and then sit down with the family to enjoy it? Do you take time out of your day to just laugh, smile, or unwind from it all? Do you make time for “family time?” Do you take the time to ask your mate or somebody who’s close to you “How was your day” and be patient enough to allow them to answer and then talk about it? Do you take the time to say “I love you?” Do you take the time to sit down and have long, deep conversations?

Do you allow yourself time to do what you enjoy, or do you spend all of your time only doing what you HAVE to do? Can you sit through an entire movie or show without answering or looking at your phone? Are you too busy on the computer that you don’t even notice what’s really going on in your household? Do you allow your mind to take a break and rest? Did you stop doing something that you love because you feel like you’re too old? Remember, age is just a number. When was the last time, or have you ever taken a long train ride and enjoyed the sound, sights, and people around you?

I could go on and on, but I think that you get my point by now. We have to allow time for the things that really matter. Now that I’ve got your attention, it’s time for you to ask yourself: “What can I do to bring balance into my life?” When we know better, we should do better. You owe it to yourself. Live life to the fullest! Value what’s most important, and allow yourself to enjoy all of the peace that comes with it.

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This is a non sugar-coated article about teen bullying. Bullying has ruined and/or taken so many teen lives and it has to stop! We ALL must do our part. We ALL have to start acknowledging it and talking about it. We ALL must stand up against bullying and NOT act as if we don't see it. Bullying won't stop unless we face it head-on making no excuses and protecting those who bring harm to others. Nobody deserves to be bullied! What can or what are you doing to make a change?

As all of you are aware, bullying has gotten way out of control and it is ruining teens' lives and they are taking their own lives. It has to stop and we ALL have to do our part to help!

If you are one of those teens that likes to bully, please listen to me carefully. Bullying is NOT cool! No matter what you may think. You need to take a good look at yourself and search within yourself to see and understand why you do the things that you do to hurt others. Could it be that you've been hurt, bullied, or abused by somebody else? Teens who bully tend to have issues themselves such as: social problems, emotional problems, and they may be experiencing and/or have experienced mental and physical abuse. Some teens who bully have anger issues as well. There are actually a lot of things that can cause one to bully others.

It's important to be honest with yourself. Have you taken the time to think about why you bully others? I encourage you to do that. Ask yourself the question. There's a cause and effect to everything. Something is causing you to be mean and insensitive toward others. You need to search yourself, find the root-cause, and get help for yourself. Hurting others is simply NOT okay!

If you are or have been bullied, don't be afraid to speak out, get help, and stand up for yourself. You don't deserve being treated like that. You shouldn't be afraid to go to school, hang out with your friends, walk home alone, or do any other thing for that matter. You have a right to be in peace, to be yourself, and to feel safe.

As a teen, you should be enjoying your life and you shouldn't feel depressed, anxious, lonely, restless, sad, unworthy, or unloved because somebody chooses to bully you. Please talk to somebody and let somebody know what's going on. There are people who care and they will listen and help make the situation better. Please believe me! Some people REALLY do care.

Don't go through this alone. You don't have to. Please don't feel silly for reaching out for help. That's pure nonsense. You shouldn't be going through this in the first place. It's not right! Build up courage and talk about it. We have too many teens taking their own lives because they just couldn't take it anymore. I don't want that to happen to you. I want you to live your life and feel FREE! Make a vow to yourself today that you will not be bullied anymore. You will get the help that you need. Do it for yourself! Your life is worth it!

For those of you who witness bullying, please do your part to help bring an end to bullying once and for all. Here are some ways that you can help out: Let an adult or somebody who's in charge know what's going on, encourage the person that is doing the bullying to stop, talk to the person who is being bullied and encourage them to get help from somebody who can make this stop. A teacher, counselor, or any adult should be able to help. My point is this: Don't just sit back and watch this happen. Your voice is powerful. Use it.

Together we can bring about a change. There's one last thing I want you to consider: What if it was you being bullied? I'm sure you'd want somebody to take up for you if you didn't have the strength or courage to do so. Think about it! Do your part. Don't allow one more person to be bullied and you NOT do anything about it. Do what's right.

Stephanie Lahart is an Author, Poet, Teen Motivational Speaker, and a Teen Mentor. She also has 2 successful online stores: TshirtsbyLahart and InspirationbyLahart. Want to connect with and/or learn more about Stephanie Lahart? Feel free to visit her website. https://about.me/stephanie.lahart

This article was written to give parents some real food-for-thought about staying in their unhealthy relationship for the sake of the kids. It's an eye-opener as to how kids can be affected negatively because the parents choose to stay together although they're clearly unhappily married. Sometimes, we as parents, think that we're making the best choices for our children, but in actuality, we're doing more damage than good. This article is honest and truthful. We have an obligation to do right by our children. Right?

I hear a lot of people say that they're staying in an unhappy relationship for the sake of the kids. Both parents clearly don't get along anymore and they both want to get out of the relationship.

This is where you have to ask yourself some tough questions: Is arguing and bickering in front of the kids all of the time healthy? Is it fair to the kids that they have to live in a home where we don't speak respectfully to one another? Is it fair that the kids have to witness abuse? Remember, abuse is not just physical. Is it fair that the kids hear us argue over finances all of the time? Is it fair to pretend that we're happy when they know that we're not? What kind of message are you sending to them?

When you're in a relationship and you're both willing to work things out, like going to counseling or getting outside help from the church or whatever your choice may be, that's one thing. But when you both know in your hearts that it's over, it would be wise for both of you to be mature, make arrangements, and move on for the sake of the kids.

What good is it to stay for the kids if all they see is unhealthy behavior from their mom and dad? It's just not fair to them. It's important to know this: When children witness this kind of behavior regularly, they can easily become scared, confused, angry, and feel isolated. Bringing kids up in an environment that's unhealthy can also cause them to be mentally unstable. If your kids are old enough to understand, it can affect how they act in school and the relationships that they build with others.

I know that walking away from a relationship when you have kids can be a very difficult choice to make, but think about the kids. They don't deserve this. If they can't have their mom and dad behave like loving adults as it should be, then what good is staying? You're main goal should be raising happy, healthy, and good-natured children. Living in a negative environment will soon rub off on them. Kids can feel when something's not right. Kids know how to get attention whether it is in a negative or positive way. They'll act out in ways that aren't normal because they're seeking attention. They'll start getting into trouble or hurting themselves simply because they don't quite understand what's going on. Most kids will begin to think that they're at fault.

You say that you're staying for the kids, but ask yourself, is it truly worth it? Seriously think it through.

Stephanie Lahart is an Author, Poet, Teen Motivational Speaker, and a Teen Mentor. She also has 2 successful online stores: TshirtsbyLahart and InspirationbyLahart. Want to connect with and/or learn more about Stephanie Lahart? Feel free to visit her website. https://about.me/stephanie.lahart