Stephanie Lahart's Blog - Posts Tagged "parents"

I dedicate this passage to the disowned. I can only imagine your pain. Someone who you thought loved you pushed you away and no longer wants to have anything to do with you.

How could anyone disown you because you got pregnant at an early age? How could anyone disown you because you married somebody of a different race? How could anyone disown you because you didn’t go to the school or college that they wanted you to? How could anyone disown you because you came out and told them that you were gay or lesbian? How could anyone disown you because you didn’t live up to their expectations? How could anyone disown you because you decided to become a different religion than they are? How could anyone disown you because you decided to get piercing and tattoos on your body? How could anybody disown you because you made a horrible mistake and used drugs?

How could anyone disown you because you didn’t take the route that they wanted you to go? How could anyone disown you because you had a biracial child? How could anyone disown you because your best friend is mixed with another race that they’re not fond of? How could anyone disown you simply because they can’t control you? How could anyone disown you because you decided to tell the truth about all of the bad things that were going on in the family and they didn’t want to believe or accept it? How could anyone disown you because you weren’t “perfect” in their eyes? How could anyone disown you because you decided to tell the truth? How could anyone disown you because you allowed alcohol to take over your life?

Let’s face it! Everybody makes mistakes in their life and they sometimes wish that they could turn back the hands of time, but they can’t. If you say that you love somebody, you can’t make the choice to disown them because YOU have a problem with what they did. I’m sure that if you took a good look at yourself, you’re not “Mr. /Mrs. Perfect” either.

We don’t have a right to disown or stop loving somebody just because we don’t like what they did or said. It’s not that serious. Unconditional love means accepting people for who they are. Showing real love is not by being controlling.

How could any mother or father disown their child? Your children are YOUR seeds. Just what are you saying to your children when you disown them? “I love you, but only if I can control what you are, what you become, what you do, etc.” Shame on you! It’s wrong and there’s nothing you could say that would make it right. How does your own family disown you? Aren’t families supposed to stick together? We should be able to call on our families for support and love. Above all, if nobody else accepts us for who were are, our family should.

To the disowned, don’t feel guilty for what you did or what you said. You are your own person and you did nothing wrong. Nobody in this world is perfect. Not even the person or people who disowned you. Remember that they are the ones with the problem. I know that it may be very difficult dealing with the fact that you were disowned, but know this: You are somebody! You are somebody VERY special! Don’t be ashamed of who you are!
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I want you to take a close look at your life. Do you find yourself rushing all of the time?

Well, Think about THIS: We go about living our lives on a daily basis, and we have what we call a “to-do list.” We have to do grocery shopping, stop by the cleaners, pick our children up from day care/school, wash the car, walk and feed the pets, go by the bank. And the list goes on and on.

Every day we do what would be considered “the norm.” We get SO busy that sometimes we forget to slow down and appreciate life as it should be. Don’t get me wrong, all of these things that we do are important, but it’s also equally important to find a good balance with everything else in our lives. Learn to relax. Don’t be in a rush. Take your time, and remember to value the things that are truly important. Many people don’t realize just how valuable life is until something tragic happens. I’m going to give you an eye-opening example of what I’m talking about.

Do you take the time to hug and/or kiss your loved ones every day? Do you take the time to cook and then sit down with the family to enjoy it? Do you take time out of your day to just laugh, smile, or unwind from it all? Do you make time for “family time?” Do you take the time to ask your mate or somebody who’s close to you “How was your day” and be patient enough to allow them to answer and then talk about it? Do you take the time to say “I love you?” Do you take the time to sit down and have long, deep conversations?

Do you allow yourself time to do what you enjoy, or do you spend all of your time only doing what you HAVE to do? Can you sit through an entire movie or show without answering or looking at your phone? Are you too busy on the computer that you don’t even notice what’s really going on in your household? Do you allow your mind to take a break and rest? Did you stop doing something that you love because you feel like you’re too old? Remember, age is just a number. When was the last time, or have you ever taken a long train ride and enjoyed the sound, sights, and people around you?

I could go on and on, but I think that you get my point by now. We have to allow time for the things that really matter. Now that I’ve got your attention, it’s time for you to ask yourself: “What can I do to bring balance into my life?” When we know better, we should do better. You owe it to yourself. Live life to the fullest! Value what’s most important, and allow yourself to enjoy all of the peace that comes with it.

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An unbreakable bond is what we share
Our love is genuine and rare
Beautiful memories of you and I
Laughing, smiling and joking
Unafraid to be ourselves
We are mother and daughter

Openly talk about whatever is on our mind
We fully trust one another with our deepest thoughts
We are best friends
How awesome is that?!
Never have to pretend
We can just be ourselves

We love each other unconditionally
Occasional attitude
Moody ways
And those not so good days,
Will never change the way we feel
Our love is one of a kind

We don’t always see eye to eye
But we communicate to make things right
Never stay upset with one another for too long
For our love is much too strong
Togetherness
An undeniable bond

You are my daughter and I am your mother
Always there for one another
Fully supporting and encouraging each other’s dreams
Uplifting, never discouraging
We are each other’s biggest fans
We are one

Kiss and hug each other on a daily basis
Show each other love and appreciation
I’ m an image of you and you’re an image of me
We are very special to one another
Mother and daughter is what we are
We Are Each Other’s Heartbeat!


– Written by Author Stephanie Lahart


* I was inspired to write this poem about me and my daughter's relationship. I hope you enjoy reading it! :)

“It’s so easy and convenient to buy our children gifts, but I encourage and challenge you to give them gifts that TRULY matter! The gift of unconditional love. The gift of encouragement. The gift of support. The gift of friendship. The gift of communication,understanding, and patience. The gift of guidance and support. The gift of quality time. And the gift of loving them for who THEY are. Material things are nice, but NOTHING compares to genuine love! Parenting should be taken seriously.”

– Author Stephanie Lahart

This article was written to give parents some real food-for-thought about staying in their unhealthy relationship for the sake of the kids. It's an eye-opener as to how kids can be affected negatively because the parents choose to stay together although they're clearly unhappily married. Sometimes, we as parents, think that we're making the best choices for our children, but in actuality, we're doing more damage than good. This article is honest and truthful. We have an obligation to do right by our children. Right?

I hear a lot of people say that they're staying in an unhappy relationship for the sake of the kids. Both parents clearly don't get along anymore and they both want to get out of the relationship.

This is where you have to ask yourself some tough questions: Is arguing and bickering in front of the kids all of the time healthy? Is it fair to the kids that they have to live in a home where we don't speak respectfully to one another? Is it fair that the kids have to witness abuse? Remember, abuse is not just physical. Is it fair that the kids hear us argue over finances all of the time? Is it fair to pretend that we're happy when they know that we're not? What kind of message are you sending to them?

When you're in a relationship and you're both willing to work things out, like going to counseling or getting outside help from the church or whatever your choice may be, that's one thing. But when you both know in your hearts that it's over, it would be wise for both of you to be mature, make arrangements, and move on for the sake of the kids.

What good is it to stay for the kids if all they see is unhealthy behavior from their mom and dad? It's just not fair to them. It's important to know this: When children witness this kind of behavior regularly, they can easily become scared, confused, angry, and feel isolated. Bringing kids up in an environment that's unhealthy can also cause them to be mentally unstable. If your kids are old enough to understand, it can affect how they act in school and the relationships that they build with others.

I know that walking away from a relationship when you have kids can be a very difficult choice to make, but think about the kids. They don't deserve this. If they can't have their mom and dad behave like loving adults as it should be, then what good is staying? You're main goal should be raising happy, healthy, and good-natured children. Living in a negative environment will soon rub off on them. Kids can feel when something's not right. Kids know how to get attention whether it is in a negative or positive way. They'll act out in ways that aren't normal because they're seeking attention. They'll start getting into trouble or hurting themselves simply because they don't quite understand what's going on. Most kids will begin to think that they're at fault.

You say that you're staying for the kids, but ask yourself, is it truly worth it? Seriously think it through.

Stephanie Lahart is an Author, Poet, Teen Motivational Speaker, and a Teen Mentor. She also has 2 successful online stores: TshirtsbyLahart and InspirationbyLahart. Want to connect with and/or learn more about Stephanie Lahart? Feel free to visit her website. https://about.me/stephanie.lahart

“It’s so easy and convenient to buy our children gifts, but I encourage and challenge you to give them gifts that TRULY matter. The gift of unconditional love. The gift of encouragement. The gift of support. The gift of friendship. The gift of communication, understanding, and patience. The gift of guidance and support. The gift of quality time. And the gift of loving them for who THEY are. Material things are nice, but NOTHING compares to genuine love! Parenting should be taken seriously. Our children matter, and they deserve our VERY best. Responsible parenting rocks!” ― Stephanie Lahart