Marci

“Death is evil. So the gods decided.
Otherwise they would die.”
― Sappho, The Complete Poems of Sappho

“Eliza is family and each time I let her hurt me, I keep reminding myself that we share the same blood. I can never hurt her back. But not forgiving her is not me trying to inflict pain. My not forgiving her is not criminal. I'm hurting. Isn't that enough of a reason? I can't bring myself to ask for an explanation, like I did with James the first time. Stories are important to me. I like knowing other people's sides so that I can create my own best judgment. Yet some people's stories have a twisted way of distorting my own. Sometimes I see too much of one side and forget my own. I get guilty and forgive, thinking that I've solved the problem when I haven't. Eliza talks about her heartbreak, trying to answer the questions she assumes I have. I don't listen. I suppose it's selfish of me to close myself off because of that. But I so desperately want to be selfish. And maybe it's not even selfishness. Right now, I can't take her story and keep my own. Maybe one day, but not today.”
― Loridee De Villa, How to Be the Best Third Wheel

“there is something wrong with you

there is something wrong with you that is also wrong with me”
― Hera Lindsay Bird, Hera Lindsay Bird

“My throat starts to dry up right after and I feel my heart racing and that stupid lump forming in my throat again, the one I always have to swallow. And besides that, there's so much guilt; it's like a tsunami that washes over the shore and when it recedes, you're left with nothing at all. It's not fair, I want to shout. It's not fair that I have to feel so horrible and I can't even feel horrible because my brain tells me it's wrong and I'm selfish and I feel disgusting.”
― Loridee De Villa, How to Be the Best Third Wheel