Satire Quotes Quotes

“In response to be asked about Boris Johnson becoming UK Prime Minister...

"I'm delighted. As the UK continues to plunge ever faster into a future akin to a dystopian novel I'll never run out of material to write more books. Although now that reality is more bizarre than fiction maybe plot-lines will need to be more ambitious. Perhaps a book where Boris Johnson is really an accidental sentient snafu of Trump's scrotum lint. Kind of a sequel to the Bush-Blair story. I see musical rights being drawn up as we speak.”
― R.D. Ronald

“Manglish is the Malaysian form of English. It’s superior to Singlish when you’re in Malaysia and inferior when you’re in Singapore. It’s known for its love for Malay, Cantonese, Tamil, Mandarin, and Hokkien. Occasionally, there are English terms, too. It’s different from Indian English, which is spoken with a punchy tone, or British English, which is an endangered language in London. A key distinction between Manglish and Singlish is Manglish’s recognition of Tamil words. Singlish denies the existence of inferior Tamil words.”
― Merlin Franco, Saint Richard Parker

“Did you know? There are three major milestones in human evolution. One, the discovery of fire; two, the invention of the wheel; three, the creation of budget airlines.”
― Merlin Franco, Saint Richard Parker

“You see, writers traveling to Southeast Asia visit indigenous communities. No writing quest will be complete without some cross-cultural comparisons. This exercise is a decisive moment in every author’s life. Equate it to a photographer meeting his first old man with a wrinkled face or the old lady with heavy earrings dangling from her earlobes.”
― Merlin Franco, Saint Richard Parker

“I realize three things: one, I want a tantric massage, but I don’t want to be nude; two, I want the union of masculine and feminine powers, and I’ve got a hooker with whom I don’t want to have sex; three, I’m confused and don’t know what I want.”
― Merlin Franco, Saint Richard Parker

“A saint has control over his anger and itches.”
― Merlin Franco, Saint Richard Parker

“REMOVE THE LOUDHAILER ! If the Democrats really want to beat Donald Trump, how about getting some of their wealthy backers to buy up or take down Twitter ? The Twit-in-Chief without Twitter is nothing - a songbird without a song. No self-respecting news organisation would stoop to plug the gap. All that would be left is a pretentious peacock eunuch strutting around aimlessly with no fawning admirers. Desperate times call for desperate measures.”
― Alex Morritt, Impromptu Scribe

“If you want people respect you, you must be consummated about how to demonstrate yourself. All the skills are one or another way of befooling.”
― Shivram K, The Scorpion Grasses

“Yang mana fiksi?
Yang mana nyata?

Semuanya akan terasa sama,
jika berkunjung ke negara saya.”
― Robi Aulia Abdi (@aksarataksa)

“Julius applied the brakes just in time. The corpse fell forward and hit its forehead on an iron handle.
‘That would have been really painful if the circumstances had been a little different,’ said Allan.
‘There are undoubtedly advantages to being dead,’ said Julius.”
― Jonas Jonasson

“census: (n.) being counted so we can be discounted.”
― Sol Luckman, The Angel's Dictionary

“It's all about the choice:
You can build a huge wall to put another people outside, or you can build a peaceful environment and let the people lives there harmoniously.”
― Robi Aulia Abdi (@aksarataksa)

“Couple years ago, I have a dream.
My dream is about having a car,
but I have it now, and guess what?
I'm dreaming about to drive it.”
― Robi Aulia Abdi (@aksarataksa)

“There is a very thin line of demarcation between commedy and satire.”
― Amit Abraham

“Jangan dengarkan kalau mereka bilang bahwa manusia dan binatang memiliki kepentingan sama, bahwa kesejahteraan yang satu adalah kesejahteraan yang lain. Ini bohong! Manusia tidak benar-benar melayani siapapun kecuali dirinya sendiri.”
― George Orwell, Animal Farm

“I am not much of an artist. But I can still draw comparisons.”
― Deepak Kripal, Sense of a Quiet

“If you want to justify an illogical behaviour in the modern era, use the two ingredients: Tradition & Nostalgia.”
― Vishwajeet Gudadhe

“But the people of Harappa lived in peace and prosperity for a period about as long as Christianity has been on the earth. And yet, not a single war. Quite the contrast, wouldn’t you say?”
― Casey Fisher, The Subtle Cause

“It's fortunate I have such a huge chip on my shoulder. I'm pretty sure it's the only thing keeping my feet on the ground.”
― Christopher J. Stockwell

“A traveler rarely enjoys seeing new forms and shapes of what is essentially the same, buildings of steel reaching for the sky, holding us, the army of duty bound soldiers, captives.”
― Carol Vorvain, OMSARUZ: Humorous tales from Oman, Saudi Arabia and Uzbekistan

“Why are we willing to pay for more riches, but kindness of any kind we take for granted?”
― Carol Vorvain, OMSARUZ: Humorous tales from Oman, Saudi Arabia and Uzbekistan

“Travel doesn’t change you. You just discover more of who you really are and, at times, that in itself can be a reason not to travel.”
― Carol Vorvain, OMSARUZ: Humorous tales from Oman, Saudi Arabia and Uzbekistan

“How can you think outside the box from sitting inside a box? Or cubicle. Or partition. Or your own four walls. But, hey, you’re supposed to.”
― Carol Vorvain, OMSARUZ: Humorous tales from Oman, Saudi Arabia and Uzbekistan

“Cloud storage was invented by brilliant minds to store what we, the regular minds, think it’s worth storing: ourselves and our pets, in all positions, and at all times.”
― Carol Vorvain, OMSARUZ: Humorous tales from Oman, Saudi Arabia and Uzbekistan

“We convince ourselves it’s wisdom, when in reality, it’s just well-articulated confusion—absurd worlds mocking logic, sharp wit slicing through pretense, and reality bending just enough to remind us that the joke is, and always has been, on us.”
― ONU

“You're becoming superfluous to your own existence.”
― V.R. Ling, King Street Run

“I look like someone who threw a tea party in a war zone.”
― Anca-Valeria Bancila, My Last Week

“Never let anyone tell you that you don’t deserve a 10, just because you’re a 3. Men have rights.”
― Rob Cashmore, Whiskey Shots for the Male Ego: Self-Help Sayings for Dudes

“Either the world is insane, or you are. In this collection, it's the world. Which is worse.”
― Don't Hug Me, I'm Reddit

“These things always feel like the end of the world when they're happening. But they're not. Social media is such a tiny, insular space. Once you close your screen, no one gives a fuck.”
― R.F. Kuang, Yellowface